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Dread - Possible new job
  #1  
Old 11-21-2018, 08:19 PM
Moirae Moirae is offline
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Default Dread - Possible new job

So I was contacted for a job today. 40k per year but it's contracted so it's only for one year. It would be installing and training people on a hotel pms program.

And I've been so burned by jobs in the last ten years that I have this deep pit of dread in my stomach. I feel like crying. I started a business and have been open for a couple weeks but don't have clients yet.

But I need money coming in.

I don't know what to do. This utter dread is so strong that I am just lost. I do NOT want to take it. I don't want to go back to working for someone else. Everything in me says "don't do it". I need at least a year off at the least.

  #2  
Old 11-22-2018, 12:58 AM
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If you don't have clients on the site yet, you might not have much choice -- Knowing the gig is meant to last a specific amount of time may actually *help*, and you can work on getting clients in the meantime.
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  #3  
Old 11-22-2018, 02:13 AM
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Is there any other way to bring in some money until you get more clients? Because to me, that strong feeling of dread says NO WAY.

To be fair, though, try to analyze it. What do you know of the company? Do you know any of the people you'd be working with? Would you be comfortable with the work itself? Because it's only for one year, it might be a good thing to do - remember you're not married to the job, you can quit if you absolutely have to. But don't discount the dread. If it makes you feel that miserable, it might not be worth it.
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  #4  
Old 11-22-2018, 07:10 AM
Moirae Moirae is offline
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My husband works for the same company. It would be doing what he does which is working from home installing software and training people.

Today I had several requests for my rates, and people asking me questions about what I do (as in details). My linkedin touches have gone way up. And my facebook is gaining likes. I know I'm reaching people. I just don't have clients just yet.

I'm on the way. But I really don't know what to do.

  #5  
Old 11-22-2018, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Quoth Moirae View Post
I'm on the way. But I really don't know what to do.
Question: does your husband enjoy working for the company? Has he had any of the problems you've had in the past?

Also, can you survive as a family on just his wages until you have customers and money coming in?

If the answers are yes, no, and no, then you may need to put your toes in the water and try the job. If he has had good experiences with the company then it may be a good way to get over the dread of working for someone else.

If the answer to the first questions are no and yes, then run. Run a long way away.
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  #6  
Old 11-22-2018, 04:02 PM
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Can the new job be part time / flexible so you can work on your own businesses too? If your business does well you maybe could leave the other job sooner than a year.
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  #7  
Old 11-23-2018, 01:44 AM
Moirae Moirae is offline
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The truth is that we'd barely make it with his wage but the bills would be paid.

He likes the company. Our personalities are different. I am much higher strung than he is. And he has more patience and tolerance. The company hired 18 people when he started. They are down to 4. Some were fired, some quit.

  #8  
Old 11-27-2018, 01:39 AM
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Your phrasing sounds like that dread is really a psychiatric issue -- rationally you want to work, but you're getting clobbered by something to the general effect of PTSD. If so, it's probably time to call in the professionals on this. Cognitive-behavior training or appropriate medications really can help a lot. That said, the treatments for this sort of thing are relatively fast, but still take some time. You may need to pass on this current offer and wait until you're actually in shape to handle the work.

  #9  
Old 11-28-2018, 06:47 AM
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I don't doubt that's what it is. It would take hours to type out how I've been treated in the last ten years by employers. And I've had serious medical things going on too in the last couple years. I feel like I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place. And no, no one is pressuring me, not even my husband. But I feel guilty not working when our bills are going to collections. I'm physically able to work. It's the mental that's the problem. I'm already on anti anxiety and antidepressant medicine (granted the antidepressant medicine is for the hot flashes brought on by total surgical menopause at only 42).

I'm just convinced it's going to go bad. It will be ok at first, then it will go bad.

Last edited by Moirae; 11-28-2018 at 07:01 AM.

  #10  
Old 11-28-2018, 12:26 PM
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Quote:
Quoth Moirae View Post
I don't doubt that's what it is. It would take hours to type out how I've been treated in the last ten years by employers. And I've had serious medical things going on too in the last couple years. I feel like I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place. And no, no one is pressuring me, not even my husband. But I feel guilty not working when our bills are going to collections. I'm physically able to work. It's the mental that's the problem. I'm already on anti anxiety and antidepressant medicine (granted the antidepressant medicine is for the hot flashes brought on by total surgical menopause at only 42).

I'm just convinced it's going to go bad. It will be ok at first, then it will go bad.
It seems you do have time to sort this out, and I'd say your next step is to go back to the doctors. By your own description, you are in fact disabled. Just pretending otherwise is not going to make you able to earn money. Proper medical treatment, however, can probably make you much less disabled. Happily, you seem to have some access to medical care, and especially you have a supportive husband. (Seriously, having someone in your corner is a big deal.)

When you get to the doctor: You may be "on" meds, but your current regimen is clearly not cutting the mustard. That happens a lot, because psychopharmacology just doesn't do "one size fits all". You might need dosages adjusted, or to add, remove or swap out a med -- sorting that out requires a doctor, and often some experimentation. While you're at it, you might want to check out Cognitive-Behavior Therapy or similar, which can both help directly and provide feedback on the meds' effects.

Best of luck!
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