Things Customers Shouldn't be Allowed to Say

[smileyeagle1021]

I get the wake up a lot also... I truly dispise the people who will say things like "sorry to interupt your nap..." umm, yeah, the guy who said that said that to me at the end of a graveyard shift at the end of a 75 hour week... forgive me for being tired.

or "you sound like a girl" ...ok 2 things on that *checks self* first I am not a girl, second I have listened to recordings of my calls and I don't sound like one either... and 2 and a half, if I did I would be well aware of it and you would only be bringing it up to be a dick.

another thing that should be banned- "are you close to (insert landmark that is on the other side of the valley)?" ok people, do at least a little research before calling random hotels to see which one is the one you want.

I'll probably have more to add later...

[pile of monkeys]

Some spa/salon specific ones:

-a man comes in to buy a gift card, but says to the receptionist: "I'm here for my pedicure/bikini wax/*insert spa service here*" Then he laughs like it's the funniest thing ever said in the history of ever. Umm.. it gets less funny each of the 5,332,864 times I hear it. It's actually got a negative funny rating now. And we do have male clients. Just ask for the freaking gift card. You aren't funny.

-Upon being told the next available appointment date and time: "You don't have anything sooner?" No, moron, it's the NEXT available.

-"[specific service] costs HOW MUCH? The asian place costs half that!" Well, feel free to go there.

[lightmylamb]

I hate the if it doesn't scan it must be free thing. Ugh.

I also hate it when they say " I can't find [name of movie that takes up a whole section of a store]", so you go point it out and they say "of course! In the T's!", What was your first clue? The fact that the store is alphabetized, and you've been coming here for 5 years?

Or when they ask "Is this really $.99?" when it has the sticker right on it, with ten of the exact same product behind it with the exact same sticker on it. To be fair, occasionally something does get miss labeled, but how stupid do you think I am to do that 10 plus times, stock the items on the shelf, and not once notice?

"Oh wait! I have change."
"I used to work here" usually followed by a ridiculous request...

[the toy guy]

When something doesn't ring up properly and people joke about it being free, I treat it as a serious question and give a long-winded explanation of the problem. They usually stop trying to make jokes after that.

As for the "I just printed that dollar bill yesterday!" people, simply reply "In that case I'm afraid we cannot accept it as payment."

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

As for the "I just printed that dollar bill yesterday!" people, simply reply "In that case I'm afraid we cannot accept it as payment."

I prefer "I see Andrew's got a fierce case of the mumps there..."

[thehippie777]

I get the wake up a lot also... I truly dispise the people who will say things like "sorry to interupt your nap..." umm, yeah, the guy who said that said that to me at the end of a graveyard shift at the end of a 75 hour week... forgive me for being tired.

People often assume I have nothing to do...annoys the poo outa me. I have gotten honest with them, "Actually, I have something to do for 7 hours (1 hour I am lucky to have a food break so I don't count it even though it's paid). Also, I have had college graduates say this job is too hard." They shhh pretty pick.

or "you sound like a girl" ...ok 2 things on that *checks self* first I am not a girl, second I have listened to recordings of my calls and I don't sound like one either... and 2 and a half, if I did I would be well aware of it and you would only be bringing it up to be a dick.

Kinda related, in a weird way, but apparently one of the B shift ladies and I look alike. I am about maybe 6 months older then her, and completely unrelated to the best of our knowledge. She is also a bit heaver then I am. But guests often come up the the desk between 10pm and 6am and say, "You're still here!!! (note I don't recall their face in the slightest)". I have resorted to, "Well, I started at 10pm..." To which they figure out I am not the same person. I often think to myself, "Thanks for noticing me..." lol

Oh I have also been told over the phone when people call to make wakeup calls that I have a sexy voice. I noticed for awhile that the inquierers would come down and peek around the corner at me & then flee. I am slightly offended lol

another thing that should be banned- "are you close to (insert landmark that is on the other side of the valley)?" ok people, do at least a little research before calling random hotels to see which one is the one you want..

Yeah I get that one sometimes. Most are legitimate, as in how close to downtown are we. But, I get the Yellowstone Park question a lot, and that always makes my brain fry. Most of Yellowstone Park is in Wyoming. There are multiple entrances into the park. The closest one had serious avalanches etc, so it's been closed for a long time. It's about 45 minutes away. The next closest one is 3 hours away. People freak out because apparently every place in Montana should border Yellowstone Park.

[smileyeagle1021]

Yeah I get that one sometimes. Most are legitimate, as in how close to downtown are we. But, I get the Yellowstone Park question a lot, and that always makes my brain fry. Most of Yellowstone Park is in Wyoming. There are multiple entrances into the park. The closest one had serious avalanches etc, so it's been closed for a long time. It's about 45 minutes away. The next closest one is 3 hours away. People freak out because apparently every place in Montana should border Yellowstone Park.

oh, I get a variation on that downtown question also... in my case the conversation is as follows
me- thank you for calling (hotel) salt lake airport, this is smileyeagle speaking, how may I help you
sc- yeah, can you tell me if you are close to the salt lake airport?
me- yeah...

the other variation is...
me- thank you for calling (hotel) salt lake airport, this is smileyeagle speaking, how may I help you?
sc- yes, are you the (hotel) that can be seen from the 215?
me- both of our salt lake locations can be seen from the 215...

[Enigma]

I had a lady come up to the desk last night and say "Boy you guys sure look bored, let me give you something to do" during our first break in customers during the night (and only). Meaning we were scrambling to clean up. Fortunatly I gave a weak chuckle and my coworker just stared at her, which prompted "Hehe, I just said that because I know it's not true..."

Which actually did make me laugh, she gave me a lemon-raspberry sucker too, so it was worth it.

As for the rest of the overworked and overused lines, I have my generic, basic responses. Most people get the hint that I've heard it a million times before.

[Delphae]

I wash the golf carts every week and I get this one, "Will you wash my car too?"

"This is highway robbery" or some variation of it. No our beers are 3 dollars, that's cheep.

[Racket_Man]

When something doesn't ring up properly and people joke about it being free, I treat it as a serious question and give a long-winded explanation of the problem. They usually stop trying to make jokes after that.

As for the "I just printed that dollar bill yesterday!" people, simply reply "In that case I'm afraid we cannot accept it as payment."

12: (after the cashier checks a bill for authenticity) "I just made that today!"
13: "The other store has it."
14: "They have it for X at the other store! I was JUST there!"
15: "I know you're trying to help three other people right now, but I just have a QUICK QUESTION."

The thing I did ONCe with a $100 bill and a customer said they just printed it that morning. I walked over to the phone looked up a number in the blue section (government section in our book) of the phone book and started dialing. the SC asked what I was doing and I replied I am calling the local police and the Secret Service to report a counterfit bill was being passed at my location and I have the bill and the alledged couterfiter here waiting. he got white as a ghost and shut up really quick. I then told him not funny at all seeeeeeeeeeeee

[the toy guy]

I work at a large toy store.

About once a month someone comes up and asks where the toy section is.

[Kitten in the box]

1) *whistles like you would when you call a dog* "Hey girl here girl" (my name is kitty not scooby freakin doo)

2) Do you work here? (after seeing me in uniform)

3) I'll bet you were just itching to go outside huh? (yeah right whatever)

4) That guy has been asleep in his car since I came in....he needs to wake up! (how about leaving the guy alone...as long as he doesn't bother you or anyone then why bother him?)

[NimrodJess]

In a voice that makes them sound like they ACTUALLY know you
"Oh HI there *looks at name tag* So-and-so!"



I hate name tags. Creepy guys knowing my name just because I work retail irks me off.

[smileyeagle1021]

5. "If it's not ringing up then I guess it must be free!"
.

Irv had mentioned Norm earlier in the thread, and looky what I found

[JoitheArtist]

Since I no longer deal with customers, per se (and let the rejoicing continue for that!!!), I do have things that my coworkers should not be allowed to say.

1. "It's just a short paragraph that we need written up, how hard can it be?" Ahem. This is why all of our writing SUCKED before you hired me, because you guys were just tossing crap out there. Secondly, I have to get it ok'd through Marketing, which important, and takes time. Number 3, I have ten other "little" write-ups that have been tossed on my desk this week.

2. "Oh, all you really do is the email, you have time." Like hell! I'm also re-writing our 5-yr old crazy quilt of a website. Which all has to go through Marketing. And the CEO. Oh, and 90% of all communications coming from our organization go through me, ok? NO, I don't just write the frakkin' email!

STILL better than dealing with customers. SOOOOOOO much better.