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  • #16
    Oh let's not start a pissing contest here, my dear ditchdj...

    Sometimes it's just not appropriate to hit on someone. Namely when they're at work and unable to defend themselves or retort.

    It goes for men as well. Men shouldn't have to tolerate unwanted passes from women just the same.
    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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    • #17
      Quoth ditchdj View Post
      What wrong with telling someone they're beautiful???

      With some women it's damned if you do, damned if you don't.

      That's like when a woman gets pissed at you for not "defending their honor" when another man hits on them. Then when the man threatens to put his lights out the woman gets pissed anyway for causing a confrontation.
      There is a very real difference between saying that someone is beautiful and someone being a creepy dude.

      I agree that it is OK to come out and give a complement to someone as something like that can really brighten up a person's day.

      However to go from "You're beautiful" straight to "What's your number" crossed the line from Complement to "hitting-on" pretty quickly.

      And I'll further agree that there are some times when it's frustrating for a guy to try and find out if a woman is potentially someone you can be friends with (not even going into the realm of dating, but just friends) when you're in mortal terror of being labeled a sexual predator if you ask "you want to join me for dinner sometime".

      I do feel that a man has the right to express an interest in a woman if he does so politely and takes no for an answer and graciously backs away if the woman is not likewise interested. If you take that away then you might as well do away with dating and marriage in general and let the human race either die out or resort to hand jobs and turkey basters to propagate the the species.

      On the other hand no woman should have to suffer people pawing them, slobbering on them, leering at them...etc.

      This guy sounds like he was into the realm of "creepy guy" and the OP was well in her rights to tell him to sod off.

      M
      I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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      • #18
        I'd believe your wife's stories about the grocery store. I used to bartend on Bourbon Street where every tourist assumed every local female was fair game for a pass. I could write a book of bad inappropriate pickup lines I've heard. At least I was legal age at the time, I cannot imagine dealing with these types as a teenager.

        The trick to dealing is developing the most insulting comeback possible. If he says something like 'I'd love to get into your pants' you come back with 'Why? I already have one asshole in my pants to start with. I don't need two!"
        "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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        • #19
          See at least my boyfriend was subtle. "let's hang out sometime. Hey why not meet me at the starbucks after classes are through tonight? We'll get some coffee and talk about gaming."

          And that's what we did. I mean we had some impure intentions to start of course, but we started off in a subtle fashion. If he had said "i want to ram my 500 horsepower crotch rocket in your cavernous wet cave honey bunches" as the first thing he said to me, I would've told him "YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG"

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          • #20
            Try being the only adult male and often the only male period in a restraunt staffed by teenage girls. Having an attractive 16 year old tell you her parents are out of town, she has the house to herself all weekend, and nothing to do is not the easiest thing in the world to ignore. They seem to enjoy rubbing their breasts on me too. It's a good thing I have morals.

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            • #21
              It goes for men as well. Men shouldn't have to tolerate unwanted passes from women just the same.
              Well, not to sound conceited or anything like that , I've never taken offense to a woman telling me I'm cute. It's not like it's gonna go any further than that. That's certainly not gonna make me wake up with someone other than my wife the next morning. And anyway, it's not like they're saying straight up, "Hey baby, you wanna hop in bed?"

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              • #22
                Quoth ditchdj View Post
                Well, not to sound conceited or anything like that , I've never taken offense to a woman telling me I'm cute. It's not like it's gonna go any further than that. That's certainly not gonna make me wake up with someone other than my wife the next morning. And anyway, it's not like they're saying straight up, "Hey baby, you wanna hop in bed?"
                Once again there is a difference between being complimented and being hit on.
                "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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                • #23
                  I object to being called "beautiful". I'm a GUY. A short guy, but still male. I am NOT a bishounen that stepped staight outta a manga (LittleNicky of AdultFanfiction.something told me that one ).

                  I don't mind being called Puppy, but unless someone notices my dog collar no one calls me that.

                  I'm just really glad that the town's #1 pedophile doesn't know I'm back at my old store yet.
                  Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                  Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

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                  • #24
                    Quoth ditchdj View Post
                    And anyway, it's not like they're saying straight up, "Hey baby, you wanna hop in bed?"
                    Just because they're not coming out and saying it doesn't mean that's not what they're asking without words. If you're a girl, you know when someone is paying you a compliment, and someone is being a sleeze ball. They have a look in their eyes, they have body language. If a man is looking at you in a certain way, and his posture is a certain way, he could be saying the most innocent things, and it will still freak you the hell out.
                    Pit bull-

                    There is no breed of dog more in need of our compassion; in need of our call to arms on their behalf; and in need of what should be the full force of our enduring sanctuary.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Kyree View Post
                      Just because they're not coming out and saying it doesn't mean that's not what they're asking without words. If you're a girl, you know when someone is paying you a compliment, and someone is being a sleeze ball. They have a look in their eyes, they have body language. If a man is looking at you in a certain way, and his posture is a certain way, he could be saying the most innocent things, and it will still freak you the hell out.
                      It's mostly oral inflection. You can hear this gritty tone to his voice, under his breath strange tone very odd. Either completely out-there with crappy out dated pick up lines or under the breath advances so nobody else can hear. "You look pretty today" can turn into "You shore do haf a purty mouf" with the wrong drop of the eyes, sneer, lip licking, certain body language coming from the brow etc.

                      I usually give a guy a 1st Warning Joke. He get's a humorous benefit of a doubt at first because lord knows I'm a dirty joker when I want to be. Subtle, but dirty. Except I have a way of not offending strangers (6th sense for humor!).

                      There's a difference between a chirpy "You look beautiful today!" and a "eh heh... -pant- you look beautiful -curdled brow, predator eyes-

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                      • #26
                        Quoth blas87 View Post
                        Don't forget about Cougar wannabes that hit on younger men. They probably feel our same pain.

                        .
                        Where do I sign up?

                        Seriously though.. it happened a lot, and it never bothered me unless they were persistent to the point I thought they might accost me outside of work.
                        I will never go to school!

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                        • #27
                          Quoth BaristaTrav View Post
                          Where do I sign up?

                          Seriously though.. it happened a lot, and it never bothered me unless they were persistent to the point I thought they might accost me outside of work.
                          Like this?

                          Once at the bar there was a guy that was truly persistent and my insults just seemed to make him even more determined. Ended up having to use that reverse psychology on him. The next time he asked me out I said sure and told him I hoped he didn't believe in long engagements because I was looking to get married and pop out as many kids as quickly as possible. He ran and I never saw him again.
                          "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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                          • #28
                            Quoth calulu View Post
                            Once at the bar there was a guy that was truly persistent and my insults just seemed to make him even more determined. Ended up having to use that reverse psychology on him. The next time he asked me out I said sure and told him I hoped he didn't believe in long engagements because I was looking to get married and pop out as many kids as quickly as possible. He ran and I never saw him again.
                            I'm starting to notice that threats of ball pancaking work for me.. but that's only after things have escalated to a super creepy/touchy/just licked my neck wtf level.

                            True story. Two drunk horny guys came up to me while I was working security at Chiller Theater and started touching me and licking my neck. After processing for a few seconds i told them to fuck off and the off duty cop had them arrested.

                            I didn't punch them becuase I'd never worked security before and it was my first 20 minutes on the shift... I was afraid of screwing the con up into a big brawl I wish to this day that I slugged the martini glass into his face. I kind of made an oath that I would if something like that happened again.

                            I was working at Circuit City at the time and I just had the retail pounded into my head, like it was saying "Do not escalate. Do not insult the customer... they're right. Request that they leave, that's all."

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                            • #29
                              Quoth Pezzle View Post
                              True story. Two drunk horny guys came up to me while I was working security at Chiller Theater and started touching me and licking my neck.
                              Guh.....EW! EW EWE EW EW EWEEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEEWEWEWEEWEWEWEW!!!!!!!! *Shudder-dance of Yuck*
                              Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                              Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                If someone licks my neck that I don't want to lick my neck, he will be singing like a castrati for a week. EW.

                                Yeah, compliments are nice, like "You have pretty eyes/hair/etc."

                                "Nice ASS!!" however....not so much.
                                "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                                Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                                Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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