Holy Great Balls of Crazy (ranty,long)

[violiavampyr]

Identities somewhat hidden to protect the deranged. I’m not asking for advice, I’m just venting/bitching about this girl I know.
Crazy Girl=T
Other Girl=P
Ok, so last summer another girl joined our RPG group. She seemed cool at first, but it wasn't too long before I realized that she was indeed the most special snowflake in the room. Not only was she a master cake decorator, but she was taking a double class load, 3-4 games a week (and ran one more), a scuba diver, super-girl scout, super cos-player, and knew ABSOLUTELY everything. Oh yeah, she also plays every instrument, except the bass, because bassists aren't real musicians.
She asked me if I wanted to join a cake decorating venture with her, to which I declined. I had a feeling that it would have been a very bad idea.
Turns out, I was right. I was nice enough to her, friendly- and honest when I felt she needed it. I never really hung out with her a bunch, and not at all until the past few months. T’s regular group just wasn’t mine.
I got a whiff of the crazy last fall when she started bitching about "the girls that dressed like whores in the game store all summer."
"What do you mean?"
"Coming in almost naked in shorts and low cut tank tops."
"Um, this is Texas. It gets fucking hot." points to other girl, P, who was with us, "did you not see what we wore?"
"They were all trying to throw themselves at my boyfriend!!"
In my head: Having seen and met your boyfriend, not likely. (No offense homely guys, but he was just not my aesthetic, and I never got a feel for his personality)
She is super sexually experienced (both men and women), but she keeps on saying that she’s only ever had sex with her fiancé.
It get worse and worse.
Not in this order:
She told us at one point she was adopted. *shrug* I got cousins and other friends that are adopted. But she kept on with it and kept on with it. I think her obsession with it somehow strained her relationship with her adoptive dad. I’m not getting the whole story on I, so I couldn’t really say.
She announced she was getting married. Ok, cool. It was the way she gushed about it that I found…too attention needing.
She says her friends play games to try and make her blush.
She told us she had Asperger’s, recently diagnosed, and that's why she was the way she was. Like she does something off and she says that, “it’s her Asperger’s kicking in." For the record, her alleged Asperger’s is not why I call her crazy.
She got a dog shortly after I did. Not notable in and of itself, but I suspect it was partially a “Keeping up with the Jones” thing. I wouldn’t really care, but she doesn’t treat the dog well. Like she’ll keep in the crate all day and night without taking it out, and wonder why it barks?
I saw her place in early January. Two story, 2 bed, 1 bath. It was filled with garbage and stuff. She had to climb over things to get into the kitchen, which was full with even more things. And it smelled like cat box. Dirty cat box, which was placed on top of the dog’s crate. P said that it was actually clean compared to the last time she saw it.
Last summer bf and I planned a trip to Padre to go camping. He invited his bro, and they had they idea to invite some other friends and game when we got to Austin. So T, random guy, and bro went with us to the island. T drove up the night before to pick up bro. Random guy drove with us. Bro’s kind of a dick. Like, he likes to mess with people. (I found out about this recently) Apparently T and Bro had a conversation about my bf in which Bro told T that bf was adopted. I found this out when I went with P and T to the mall a few months ago. I’d already had several discussions with T about nature v nurture. She would ramble on about birth parents, and make odd parallels between her and my bf. She started saying how she felt so bonded with my bf. Because he was adopted too. Bro told her last summer. I laugh. I guffaw. I don’t think I’ve ever guffawed. T was so pissy. “Well I’m adopted and it’s just not something you joke about.”
So I asked if there was a list of things she’d like us not to joke about, or even mention. She was not amused.
Recently she revealed that she had “Synesthesia”. She sees sounds, that’s why she doesn’t like loud noises. I’m a skeptic, myself. More on this shortly.
P and I had been trying to get together for a few drinks for a while, but money issues and busy schedules kept happening. She’d told me she’d recently broken up with her bf, a good thing because that relationship was on the fast track to a damaging co-dependent one. We were going to meet up on Tuesday, until I got a text from her saying that “T was freaking out and dragging her around town.”
Me: “ok, let’s do something this weekend.”
I get to Ps Saturday at 9, and she tells me everything that had been going on with T. Just after P broke up with her bf, T broke up with her fiancé. That she was living with. Nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The two apparently weren’t that great a match, and the relationship had become strained (according to P) since T had a “miscarriage” (T, like myself, has an IUD).
She had been hanging out with a group of Ps friends, drinking very heavily. Like total benders. Nightly. The drinking got worse over this past week, apparently she started taking the bottle to bed with her. P told me that T was talking about seducing this guy in that group and breaking him up from his girlfriend.
The house had gotten worse. So bad that that the rental company sent her a violation threaten eviction if the place wasn’t cleaned. I saw it myself later. There was a path from the door to the stairs, but that was pretty much it.
T wasn’t at home. T was hanging out at some local tobacco club/store. She knows everything about pipes and tobacco now. I had to pick her up, because for some reason she didn’t drive herself. She gets in my car (my brand fucking new 2013 still has new car smell car), and I am overwhelmed with the smell of tobacco. I grew up with a smoker, he smoked till last year when he quit. I’ve been enjoying the lack of tobacco smell. Down go the windows. She cops a bit of an attitude. No. My car. That smell is gross and overwhelming.
P says we’re going to see an Irish rock group. No cover. Yay! T doesn’t like that idea. It sounds too loud. So I suggest a place that might be chill, and we go there. Get there, $5 cover, and it’s crowded. :\. T tells me her POV, I give her some advice. She basically tells me I’m wrong, etc. I shrug. Whatever. Your life man. She starts saying she wants to go to a wine bar. And it started to drizzle.
Off we go again. Find one that an hour away from closing so they aren’t serving food anymore. I’m really hungry at this point. Eventually we leave (long story).
When we get to food place she starts talk about her Synesthesia and how that’s why she couldn’t go to the concert. She sees sound, it would have been nothing but blinding white and she would have had a migraine.
Me, hungry, waiting for food skeptic: So what do you do on a day to day basis? Surely there must be some way of coping?
T: Well I don’t put myself in those situations.
P, who is not a skeptic: What about situations that you can’t avoid?
T: I close my eyes and cover my ears and I leave or the noise stops.
Me, irritated, hungry: Really? Then never, ever have kids. They are one big endless stream of noise. They don’t stop. Ever.
T looks offended/perturbed.
We eat, I take T, then P home. I go home.
--------------------------
You know, though, I don't mind knowing people with f'ed up relationship issues. Makes MINE seem normal and healthy by comparison.
A bit of schadenfreude too.

[violiavampyr]

One more thing- I saw P today. She told me all about helping to clean Ts place. They found fast food cups with mold, old leftovers and dishes stuffed in random places. T kept on trying to justify everything, and prevents stuff from getting thrown away.
P told me the T told her that she "doesn't think she wanted to hang out with Violia anymore." She'd finish out this campaign of my bfs, but she wasn't going to be in his games anymore after this.
My reaction? This chick can't take being told she's wrong? Grow the fuck up. No, I'm not insulted. I'm annoyed with her immaturity.
I agree with P when she say the T is on some sort of downward spiral.
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Huh. Actually BF just told me he got a text from T saying that she was going to drop Sundays because she "doesn't like where my character is going and doesn't know how to fix it. I also want Sundays back to myself."
Ugg.

[KhirasHY]

I know you didn't ask for advice, but I can't resist...

RUN AWAY! RUN AWAAAAAAAAAY!!!

I have an acquaintance (won't call them a friend) who's very much like this...everything has to be about them, and ANY criticism or disagreement is treated like a personal attack. The situation was even similar, as this was a person that we used to play tons of tabletop RPGs with, but she has just gotten more and more unbearable over the years. She has "aspergers" as well, which I put in massive sarcasm quotes since she never actually got a doctor to diagnose it, she just WebMD'd herself and decided the symptoms fit her perfectly. She's basically a mood killer, and people generally leave any room she enters as soon as possible. I know I'd do so, even in an airplane...

/facepalm

As for T, she sounds like a poster child for a visit from the crew of Hoarders. I also feel bad for that dog, that sort of environment can't be healthy for it to live in

The problem with most people like that is that they are the center of the universe...THEIR perspective is the only one that matters, and anyone who tries to convince them otherwise becomes the enemy. The fact that she can't take being told she's wrong without immediately never wanting to be around you again is a pretty big sign. Hopefully you don't have to deal with the stress of that very much.

[Food Lady]

That's not aspberger's. It's narcissm.

[violiavampyr]

Actually I was thinking something along these lines-- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrio...ality_disorder. But I'm not a psychiatrist, nor do I play one on tv.

[violiavampyr]

And she unfriended me on facebook over night. Not a word to me at all. You know, I wouldn't have told my bf about most of it except she sent him that text last night and he asked me WTF.
Does it irritate me that she unfriended me? Nope. Does it irritate me that she can't find it in her to be something for a grown-up and use her words to attempt to resolve conflict? Yep.

[Eevie]

As someone with Asberger's (and properly diagnosed, mind you) it's no excuse for the way you act. Yes, I say some things that I don't understand come off as rude, but usually I catch it later on and apologize. Yes, I explain that I have Asberger's, so I might act a little rude or (very) strange sometimes, but never as an excuse or a replacement for a proper apology. It drives me crazy when people blame a disorder (diagnosed or not) for their actions.

[Pixilated]

She sounds like somebody who seizes on an interesting disease/condition du jour and claims it for her own -- until she finds a more interesting one. First it was Asperger syndrome, then it was Synesthesia, next week it'll be abduction by aliens. Definitely a drama queen. I agree with KhirasHY: Run away!!

[hinakiba777]

I agree with everyone else. It's totally "I-want-to-be-an-Aspergers". This is a self-diagnosed condition in which a person with self-diagnosed Aspergers uses the condition as an excuse to be an ass. I have a few friends with Aspergers, and yeah they say something sometimes not realizing it's rude, then catches themselves and apologizes. One of my first friend from university used to say; "I'm joking, whenever what I'm saying earns that expression, I'm joking."

But yeah, honestly, that girl sounds like a self-absorbed and self-destruct jerk. It's good she decided to cut you out, it saves you from having to explain why you cut her out.

[XCashier]

Would it be possible for you to contact the local SPCA about her? I'm concerned about the animals, if they're being kept like that. Whatever her problems, real or otherwise, she's a million miles of bad road and you're better off away from her.

[violiavampyr]

I've thought about that.

[PepperElf]

Like she’ll keep in the crate all day and night without taking it out, and wonder why it barks?

This really caught my attention. Although crate-training with dogs is good & a good crate is pretty much a "personal room" for a dog, keeping it created all the time... it may be doing physical & mental harm to the dog. Dogs are social creatures first of all. But also, when does it get to pee?

however from how you described her...although I obviously can't diagnose her condition, I seriously suspect she has one. It might not be any of the ones she claims but... it's kinda clear she has trouble beyond being just a run-of-the-mill drama queen.

if anything she somewhat reminds me of the habitual liars i've met or perhaps... well to be honest she kinda makes me think of House MD and the episode where they diagnosed someone with Münchausen Syndrome - where the person exaggerates or creates symptoms of illnesses in themselves to gain investigation, treatment, attention, sympathy, and comfort from medical personnel. (or from others perhaps).

at any rate i suspect that being away from her feels healthier than being with her.

oh and of course synesthesia... the one condition that is somewhat hard to prove. I do know someone (an ex)who said he had - someone who didn't claim a new condition every week. He showed me the latest copy of Discover magazine and pretty much sounded relieved, like a deep down in his soul level of relief. From what I remember, he'd learned to keep his mouth shut about how he saw things because no one else saw them the way he did. But having read about the condition in the magazine he finally knew that, while he was still different, it wasn't just something in his own head.

There's not a *lot* I remember from the article but... I do remember the most common effects were associating - and seeing - different colors for each letter and number. The article made mention of someone asking about what synesthesia was and having it explained to them, "People who think 5s are yellow." and that she had responded automatically with saying what color 5s were for her". she herself, like my ex, hadn't realized there was a name to what she had.

So yes it is possible for someone to suddenly learn that they have the condition. However one of the things the article mentioned was that people who are faking it tend to forget which color goes with which letter and number. The real synaesthetics never change on this. If a 5 is yellow one day, it will always be yellow.

[Ophbalance]

I've been diagnosed, by means of standard questionnaire and the reading by a psychologist, as Asperger's. Most folks find me "cold". And the best example I can give of this is from last year. One of my twins was sick and ended up having a febrile seizure while at preschool. I was on my way to pick him up and missed the call from the ladies at the school on his condition.

It was rather scary, as he went floppy and unresponsive for a good 20-30 minutes. Also scary is that the ambulance was just missing and didn't show up for a good 40 minutes. When it finally did get there, my son started to finally become responsive. We decided it was still worthwhile to send him to the ER, and his twin would remain behind with someone from the preschool.

During this whole thing I didn't speak much. I don't generally show much emotion to begin with, but most especially during times of high stress. I'm much too busy just taking in what's happening and don't telegraph what I'm thinking through body language. My attention to the situation tends to come off as uncaring. It's not, it's just my way of dealing with trying to sort out multiple conversations and multiple sensory events that require my attention.

I had left my car booted up at the curb (it's a Prius) and couldn't recall if I'd shut it off. One of the ladies from the school kept shouting to "just leave it, it'll be fine!". I couldn't really get her to understand that though the engine was off, the car itself was not. And in that state couldn't be locked and could be just driven off by anyone. Again, I came off as "cold and uncaring" but at this point my son was with an EMT and was loaded into an ambulance. My attention was required elsewhere, and would be redirected back to my son shortly.

So, I'm calling BS on the Asperger claim. It's something that needs to be diagnosed by a professional. Not even a family doc is good enough for that, it really needs to be done by someone in the Pscho line of medical doctors.

[violiavampyr]

But also, when does it get to pee?

When P was telling me about the cleaning debacle last week, she told me that the it had peed in the create and it soaked through to the floor.

The real synaesthetics never change on this. If a 5 is yellow one day, it will always be yellow.

I read up what I could about this and I couldn't really find much on aversion to concerts. i.e. other anecdotes etc. Like, what color Rush sounds like?
She took offense when I asked her why she couldn't enjoy the beauty of kaleidoscopic cacophony.

I have no idea if she was really diagnosed, took an online quiz, or she self diagnosed while she was being a psychology major (she's a micro-biology major now).

As a side note, a mutual friend of ours told me she did the same thing with him over the winter holiday.What did he do to offend her sensibilities? He disagreed with her about painting techniques for Warmachine minis.

[Pixilated]

And that got him sent to Coventry?? Hope she's happy with her little world because at some point it's likely to be all she's got!

Please, do consider calling the ASPCA about the animals ... I had a friend who crate-trained her dog and did it the right way. The dog got special treats when he was in the crate and as a result he just loved his crate! I dog-sat on a couple of occasions and when I got out the 'crate treats' he zoomed downstairs, shot into the crate and was sitting there waiting with baited doggy breath for me to get my butt downstairs, give him his treats and shut the crate door.

But if the dog is peeing in the crate it sounds as if it's been in there way too long. I'm sorry for whatever condition(s) she may or may not have, but her animals shouldn't suffer for it.