*headdesk*

[Kanalah]

I know but it seems when I'm at a really low spot then people end up telling me "Don't talk about being depressed anymore, it bothers people."

I would've responded immediately had I known, but I was out of the house. I don't have a fancy phone, so I can't check email while I'm out.

I'm just so used to people being mean and kicking me when I'm down.

[FormerCallingCardRep]

Kanalah, we are all here for you. We are trying to lift you up, not kick you down.

Anytime you need to talk, I am here. It may take me a little longer getting bock to you during the day, but I will be getting back to you.

[Jester]

Jester, don't be mad at me. I was hoping sometime to visit Key West and have you pick out rum for me.

I am not mad at you. Nor will I be as long as you don't carry through on your comments. And I am going to hold you to that, of you coming to Key West so I can pick out rums for you. I am not good at that...I am fantastic, and I would be honored to be able to do so for you.

As for you being trouble, stop that. Seriously. You are not trouble, and no one here thinks you are. (And if they do, I'd like a conversation with them in a small, private closet....with soundproofing.) Don't think that. We are concerned for you, and that is our choice...you are not trouble. Get that shit out of your head right now, woman. That is an ORDER.

Excuse me, but you don't come on here and post the comments that you did, then don't reply to PM's and messages of concern, scaring and worrying us sick, and then say, "I don't want to be trouble."

Ree, depression is insidious. To those suffering from it, they often think they are troubling their friends by talking about it, or talking about the way it makes them feel. Sometimes, they are so beaten down by the depression that the very idea of seeking or asking for help is something they think would be a burden on others, and they just don't want to be. It is an incorrect thought, of course, but it makes sense in the logic of depression.

But it's okay, because Kanalah is not going to do a DAMN thing to herself. She has not yet had the pleasure of having great rum that was picked out especially for her by me. And that, my friends, is a big fucking deal.

[Bardmaiden]

Yeah but I don't want to be trouble. Then I won't be able to talk about anything.

Darling if I could swim the sea I would be there giving you a hug. I kinda know where you are coming from with that and get told by my people to let them know when I'm hurting too. Sometimes it is hard to express the feelings you are having but sometimes I find just talking about stupid things helps just as much because you are being listened to.

[Ree]

I know but it seems when I'm at a really low spot then people end up telling me "Don't talk about being depressed anymore, it bothers people."

I would've responded immediately had I known, but I was out of the house. I don't have a fancy phone, so I can't check email while I'm out.

I'm just so used to people being mean and kicking me when I'm down.

I understand totally, but I was just so worried.

I have been where you are.
I was there this weekend, myself, actually. (Long story.)

I am so happy you're OK for the moment.
Please, never stop talking to us.
You've obviously been surrounded by heartless idiots.
We aren't them.

[Kara]

I have been where you are.

As you probably know, so have I. And then some. And I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back and let the people I care about go through it and suffer in silence.

That pm I sent you included my phone #. Call it anytime, and I mean that. I only ignore calls from bill collectors and politicians. Never ignore friends. FCCR has called me at 6am and I'm glad she did due to what was going on.

[FormerCallingCardRep]

FCCR has called me at 6am and I'm glad she did due to what was going on.

Sorry, I forgot about the time difference.

But, seriously, if you need me, I am here. I have had someone in the group in a different time zone call me at 1 am and I talked to her when she needed some one.

[Kara]

Don't apologize, when I say call me anytime, I mean ANYTIME

[Sapphire Silk]

I know but it seems when I'm at a really low spot then people end up telling me "Don't talk about being depressed anymore, it bothers people."

It doesn't bother anyone here, clearly. Me included.

Kanalah, when you start feeling this way, get help. Get someone on the phone. Get to a counselor, pastor, suicide hotline, anyone!

Every life is valuable. Every life is a treasure. Some of us just have to clean the patina off ourselves to see it, is all.

[Jester]

Kanalah, you can PM me any time. I have made that clear in the past. You can also, if you want, have my phone number, and you can call or text me anytime as well. This too I have made clear in the past.

Ree, the same applies to you. Always.

Kara, you already know this and already have my number, but I want to reiterate that that still stands, and always will. Well, unless you start rooting for the U of A. Then all bets are off. (Kidding, of course.)

[spark]

You can add me to the list of people you can contact any time. Seriously. I am a good fill-in for the weird middle of the night hours, I usually go to bed around 4 am. You have my e-mail and I'd be happy to drop you my phone number too.

We can whine about our depressive issues at each other, then it'll be fair and everything. Er. That sounds weird. I just mean that you couldn't possibly be a bother if I get to share my troubles with you while you're sharing yours with me, if you see what I mean.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Add me to the list too...send me a PM with your info and I will respond in kind. And a big, huge, hearty

FUCK YOU!!!

to anyone who doesn't believe in depression, won't even try to understand it, and tries to tell us it's not real. My husband does the same thing, though he's backed down a bit over the years or at least just doesn't talk to me about it anymore. Those of us who suffer from depression and anxiety KNOW it's real and we need to stick together. You have every right to vent...just know that we here do not want you to harm yourself in any way, just as you would not want us to harm ourselves, so we have to scold you if you suggest you might...it will be a loving scolding, believe me.

Much love to you. You seem like a wonderful person. Believe in yourself.

[spark]

P.S. Did you know it's Kanalah day? It is. See? ----> http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...t=84881&page=2

[Eisa]

Add me to the contact me any time list. I don't go to bed until like 7 a.m., so any time during the night is a-ok. Not the best with phone calls, but great with texts and PMs, and if you need to talk, I can pick up the phone.

[Der Cute]

K-
Listen. Go through our threads and read all the stuff we've tossed around on depression. It seems a lot of us have that - or family who does. Then, how do we deal with it?
Of course, when you're depressed and feeling poopy like you're describing, it's really hard to "see" things can be better.
What good has happened in the last week? Come on, good things have.
School for your daughter.
Trip to see family (the road trip itself will give memories)
You having a final and kicking ass on it
Finding that we care
Kittybaby is now cared for, that's checked off the list.

hey. I've had super crap weeks where I thought Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck, it's all fucked up. Then I start journaling and my brain says: Hey wait, did ANY good happen? Yeah, list it. Even if you have to pick up CRUMBS find a good thing.
And I've been in your shoes. I've felt that despondent. That sad. That worthless. It's a hell of a suction cup to get stuck into. And hella to get out. Please, can you contact a doc when you get back? This is enough to effect your life and behavior - is it throwing a wrench in the rest of your life? Yes? Get some help.
Hugs.