Paging Retail Workhorse

[wolfie]

Don't know whether this array of bacon-themed products would be something you'd protest as abuse of the sacred "meat candy" (what I thought when I saw the title), or additions to your "gotta have this" list (what I thought when I read the article), but I'm sure you'll have an opinion one way or the other.

[Eevie]

I've seen bacon-scented candles (and admittedly I wouldn't mind one for myself for the sheer novelty of it) but this is ridiculous....

[RetailWorkhorse]

Wanna have it
Gotta have it
I'm hungry
OOOOOOOOOOOO~! MUST HAVE!

[fireheart]

*snerk* baconlube

[RetailWorkhorse]

I think the baconlube would be my only actual problem.... Well, unless it was put in a certain place. Does it taste like bacon or merely smell like bacon? Hmmmmmm.

[PepperElf]

i tried bacon gum once. i was disappointed though... it tasted like hickory smoke flavor and not really bacon.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts, Pep.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Guess what my sister got me for Christmas?

Bacon flavored popcorn

No. You can't have any, RW, IT'S MINE, FILTHY HOBBITSES gollum gollum D:<

[RetailWorkhorse]

*GAAAAAAASP!*

But...butbutbut! You'd deprive a poor starving little puppy pony delicious bacon noms? Oh, how could you, Jay?!

Hey. Hey, Jay. I bet those taste really good. And they'z sitting in your pantry. Calling out. They're calling out to ya, Jay. "Make some bacon popcorn, Jay" they're saying. "Take part of our delicious baconness, Jay." Come on. Ya know ya wanna. And so you pull them out of the pantry, open the box and pull out a package. Peel the plastic off. Inhale that delightful scent. Put it in the microwave and input the time. It wafts, that smell, all through the house. And just when you can't take it anymore, the microwave beeps, you pull open the door and take the wonderful smelling bag from the cavity. Your mouth is water, Jay, watering for the most fantastic thing you ever put in your mouth. And you let it cool for just a moment before the money is gone and you rip into the bag and grab a handful and toss those fantastical kernels into your mouth and you're chewing for all your worth as pure ecstasy explodes on your tastebuds and you swallow the mass and then....

You realize.

They'z all gone, Jay.

You eated them.

And didn't share.

You bastard.

[Jay 2K Winger]

They'z all gone, Jay.

You eated them.

And didn't share.

You bastard.

I am many things.

A selfish bastard is one of them.

mmmmm bacony buttery popcorny goodness soooo good :9 and it's aaaaaaallll miiiiine

[RetailWorkhorse]

I'mma pout at you.

*POUTS*

[Dreamstalker]

*snerk* baconlube

One of my muses just went "Bacon?!" and another dove for cover upon seeing it. I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what that was about...

[RetailWorkhorse]

*OBJECTION POINTING* Hey, Dreamstalker-Muse! I'll fight ya for the baconlube!

[wolfie]

The post in this thread numbered 3143 is missing one important symptom - that hoof-shaped depressed skull fracture is clearly not from a certain pony expressing their opinion of someone ruining bacon.