paying for co-worker marrige

[scruff]

I feel bad about this, but this kid joined us after we had had 2 rounds of redundancies;
(no, I don't know what management were smoking, hiring someone after loads of people had to leave)
and he's now gone off to get married.
He's taken a MONTH off.
That's an entire year's worth of time off.
So, either he's blown his entire year of holiday allowance, or hes taking unpaid leave.
Personally, I think that sounds painful, but that's his choice, right?
Noo, we're expected to chip in to a pot to afford presents for him. Now, I'd happily contribute to a collection for a well-liked longterm team member, but for a new kid who can blow his entire allowance in the same month? When we've had to take a pay cut due to 'the current economic climate' ?
Someone please tell me I'm not being a scrooge.

[BlaqueKatt]

you are not a "scrooge"-as a matter of fact, doing anything more than posting a notice or sending a mass e-mail is bad ettiquete

[bainsidhe]

Meh. Although some of the message boards I read would call you a horrible person and tell you to contribute 20-50 dollars to the special event of the week, I personally suspect they're just jealous of people who budget.

Don't let anyone make you to feel bad for resenting financial manipulation. Hopefully it's a general pot and no one knows who really contributed. Besides, isn't it better to nip this now before you're expected to contribute for every wedding/baby shower/retirement/birthday/office-person day/Tuesday/whatever?

[raw456]

Unless there is some obscure law where you work, you are under no obligation to contribute money to the pot.

My personal rule of thumb is if I dont work directly with them or if they have been with the company under 6 months, I dont contribute.

[shadowpanda]

I didn't used to contribute for things I didn't want to contribute for, luckily it was fairly anonymous so no one really knew who gave what. When I handed in my notice, I made it clear I wasn't expecting anybody to pay out any more for stuff for me, unless they personally wanted to
I might buy a card, but certainly wouldn't put in a sizable chunk of change into a pot to buy someone, whom I hardly know, something for their wedding.

It's not really his fault that he got hired after a bunch of people were let go, and he may have had this wedding planned for 5 years, timing can suck. Either way (in my opinion) it seems corporate screwed up, but this can lead to resentment between the people on the front line who have to adapt to all these changed/ If this new guy can disappear for a whole month and everything at work goes fine, did they need to hire him and give everyone else a pay cut?

[Plaidman]

So wait, because of him being hired, everyone had to take a pay cut, and now he just leaving for a month? When he just started? that's a bunch of bullshit...


In anycase, I agree. Your not a scourge. If it was someone that you knew personally, and liked, and worked with a while? Then yeah, I'd say at least a card. It's what I've done. But for someone you have no idea will be even half a decent worker? The one that was hired and said yeah, I'm leaving for marriage now bye sounds like a total dick to be honest.

[jedikuonji]

I don't chip in for anyone at work. I don't expect anyone to chip in for me either. I find this arrangement satisfactory.

You are under no obligation to provide anything. Nor are you under any obligation to explain why. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[taxguykarl]

I agree with all of the above. I don't think you have any obligation to contribute to some new CW that you barely know.

BTW how do you know that the CW who is taking that collection is not skimming? I had a CW that we nicknamed "Collection Cora". Any birthday, retirement, hospitalization and she was there with an envelope. For one retirement she took in a lot more than she would have spent of the gift for which she was collecting. After that, I refused to give any more.

[MoonCat]

Who takes a month off to get married?? I could see for a new baby, but for the wedding? Ah, well, whatever. No, you're not obligated to contribute anything. I only give to things like this when it's someone I know and have worked with for a few years. New hires? Nope, and I wouldn't expect a dime if I was the new hire.

[TawnyMyst]

About 6 months after I was hired at the location that I now work at, I took a month off for my marriage. I had been engaged for a while prior to that, the date had long been set, down payments made on the hall and church, family that was coming in from out of country had already made arrangements. I made sure my bosses knew before I was hired and I took my two weeks holiday to cover and an unpaid leave of absence to cover the rest. I was getting married in a different province from where I worked and we were driving home for it and back after. It was about a week of driving each way. My bosses covered my absence with overtime for the other employees. No collection was taken up for anything for me, nor was one expected by me. Our honeymoon consisted of the drive back to where we now lived and worked. I had to be back at work five days after our wedding so I really had no time for anything else. I think whether or not you contribute is your choice. I will contribute to some things if I know and get along with the coworker but I don't think I should be expected to contribute for every little thing.

[Bella_Vixen]

Hopefully it's a general pot and no one knows who really contributed.

At the place where I now work, they don't require people to chip in. They do, however, have a suggestion of how much you should pay depending on whether you are full or part time. (PT=$2, FT=$5, etc.) <----

Even at part time, I generally kick in at least $5, just because I tend to like the people they are collecting for (so far, it's been all funerals for coworkers' family members and 1 coworker).

Yeah, and they generally write down who contributed, and how much.

[Whiskey]

Yeah, and they generally write down who contributed, and how much.

This is incredibly rude. I don't contribute shit to shit. However, if I decide to support someone I will do it directly, not through a collective pot.

[scruff]

The whole department got an email from the team secretary complaining that so far only 2 people had contributed, so she's certainly recording numbers. Oh well. I'll stick in 50p.

[Rapscallion]

Make it a penny.

A little while back, we had someone in our personnel team retire. I was in a fair old dispute with them at the time and I refused to contribute. You know it's effective when a member of their team suddenly starts when you say, "No". My main reason, though, was because she was fucking incompetent.

Rapscallion

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Miss Manners says, no, you don't have to provide anything (except maybe a word of good wishes issued verbally if you see this person often), and they are incredibly rude for taking up a collection at all.

For anything.

EVER.

And that goes for office potlucks, too! *fist shakey*