Panacea mentioned in another thread about doctors having to take bed side manner classes. I have a story of someone who desperately needs those.
Last summer my former best friend started her masters degree, She is going to be a Cognitive therapist, which I find hilarious because after knowing her for so long she is someone who needs to see a cognitive therapist. She refuses to change her behavior, she once told me that she refused to change for anyone and she is who she is. Even if that meant she would make me cry, or was super flirty and lead guys on, which in some cases got her into a lot of trouble and she has had more then one stalker because of it.
Anyway here are a few things that make me worry about her future patients: During a low point where I was considering suicide, I went to her because I was scared and knew she could be someone who could get me help, even though at the time I almost didn't want help. She told me I was making her feel bad and I was a bad person for it. She never contacted anyone about it, in fact she didn't speak to me for three days after I left her house, then texted me to see if I wanted to set up a time with my parents so I could talk to them when she was there, basically do you want to set up an appointment. She knew I was at a low point and that she was my last hope since I was too down to go to anyone else. For all she knew I could have been in the hospital or had hurt myself by then. I realize that going to someone and saying there is a high possibility I'm going to kill myself and you are the only one can prevent it, is a very very stressful thing. I know from experience since I was the one who called her family and her therapist when she threatened it herself many years back when we were teens, frankly having to do that at a young age scarred me and is something I will never forget. She is going into this profession, she was starting her masters in it, if you can't help save someone you call your best friend then how can you do it for a patient. At the very least how can you push that person down more when you know they are already at a bad point. At the time she was even considering volunteering for a suicide hotline.
The next reason I worry is remember how I mentioned she flirts a lot, and she has had stalkers because of it? She has had three, a former boyfriend, and two coworkers, along with friends and guys not wanting to spend time with her because of how flirty she gets with friend's boyfriends and guys in the group. Her work study is working at a boys group home working with boys who have had traumatic experiences and other issues, I forgot exactly what else is treated at the group home. Anyone else seeing bad things happening? She is also the type to refuse to go to supervisors about things like when the coworkers starting to stalk her. Both times I had to go into her work with her and force her to speak to a supervisor to get it taken care of. I'm worried about one of the boys being very (understandably) confused about her behavior and something happening because of it, then her not going to a supervisor.
She just doesn't have people skills, and when you are supposed to talk to people to help them. You aren't going to help them, especially when you are teaching them how to change their behavior and emotional responses when you can't and refuse to do it yourself.
If you are wondering I'm still working on my depression, I'm much better since then and have cut her out of my life, so has another friend who was also hurt by her. In fact I'm a lot better since I cut her out of my life, I found that she was starting to worsen my depression by treating me badly and telling me I was relying on my other friends too much and being a burden to them, turns out none of them felt that way.
I kinda needed to get that out, hopefully this is the right area for it, I thought since she is becoming a doctor it might belong in sickbay.
Last summer my former best friend started her masters degree, She is going to be a Cognitive therapist, which I find hilarious because after knowing her for so long she is someone who needs to see a cognitive therapist. She refuses to change her behavior, she once told me that she refused to change for anyone and she is who she is. Even if that meant she would make me cry, or was super flirty and lead guys on, which in some cases got her into a lot of trouble and she has had more then one stalker because of it.
Anyway here are a few things that make me worry about her future patients: During a low point where I was considering suicide, I went to her because I was scared and knew she could be someone who could get me help, even though at the time I almost didn't want help. She told me I was making her feel bad and I was a bad person for it. She never contacted anyone about it, in fact she didn't speak to me for three days after I left her house, then texted me to see if I wanted to set up a time with my parents so I could talk to them when she was there, basically do you want to set up an appointment. She knew I was at a low point and that she was my last hope since I was too down to go to anyone else. For all she knew I could have been in the hospital or had hurt myself by then. I realize that going to someone and saying there is a high possibility I'm going to kill myself and you are the only one can prevent it, is a very very stressful thing. I know from experience since I was the one who called her family and her therapist when she threatened it herself many years back when we were teens, frankly having to do that at a young age scarred me and is something I will never forget. She is going into this profession, she was starting her masters in it, if you can't help save someone you call your best friend then how can you do it for a patient. At the very least how can you push that person down more when you know they are already at a bad point. At the time she was even considering volunteering for a suicide hotline.
The next reason I worry is remember how I mentioned she flirts a lot, and she has had stalkers because of it? She has had three, a former boyfriend, and two coworkers, along with friends and guys not wanting to spend time with her because of how flirty she gets with friend's boyfriends and guys in the group. Her work study is working at a boys group home working with boys who have had traumatic experiences and other issues, I forgot exactly what else is treated at the group home. Anyone else seeing bad things happening? She is also the type to refuse to go to supervisors about things like when the coworkers starting to stalk her. Both times I had to go into her work with her and force her to speak to a supervisor to get it taken care of. I'm worried about one of the boys being very (understandably) confused about her behavior and something happening because of it, then her not going to a supervisor.
She just doesn't have people skills, and when you are supposed to talk to people to help them. You aren't going to help them, especially when you are teaching them how to change their behavior and emotional responses when you can't and refuse to do it yourself.
If you are wondering I'm still working on my depression, I'm much better since then and have cut her out of my life, so has another friend who was also hurt by her. In fact I'm a lot better since I cut her out of my life, I found that she was starting to worsen my depression by treating me badly and telling me I was relying on my other friends too much and being a burden to them, turns out none of them felt that way.
I kinda needed to get that out, hopefully this is the right area for it, I thought since she is becoming a doctor it might belong in sickbay.
Comment