Something about the Candy Counter really brings out the worst in people.
I'm weighing out some candies that are kinda heavy. So they're like .03lbs. So it's a little hard to get EXACTLY .50lbs. So when I put it all on and it comes to .51 and take one off and it's .48 and I say, "Over or under?" the correct response is one of those two options. Not for this SC.
Me: Over or under?
SC: Why can't you get it exactly half?
Me: *a tad sassy* Do you want me to cut one in half?
SC: *sheepishly* Uh...no...over is fine.
No.
SC: I want a sample of this one.
Me: We don't give out samples.
SC: Well how am I supposed to know what it tastes like?
Me: It's chocolate with peanut butter inside. It tastes like chocolate with peanut butter inside.
SC: Hmpf.
Please, for the love of God, don't do this on a Saturday.
Oblivious Mom: Can my son get a little bit of a few things in one bag?
Me: Absolutely.
OM: Okay sweetie, tell her what you want.
Oblivious Child: Um...uh...uhhhhh... Ummmm...
Me: ...........
*line begins to form*
OC: Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
OM: Maybe Swedish Fish?
OC: No...no...uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......... *points at gold coins*
OM: No. Those are too expensive.
OC: But I want them.
OM: No.
*line gets bigger*
OC: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh
*line gets even bigger*
Me:
OC: ..................................*points at Swedish Fish*
You Thought Kids were Bad?
SC: Could you ring this all up? I haven't decided on a few things.
Me: *rings up whole purchase*
SC: Okay now take this off. Okay now this. Okay now this. Okay now this. Okay now this. Etc. Etc. Etc.
And if you thought they were things from my department, you live in a wonderland.
The Stuff of Legend
We had a group that was so horrific the other day that a woman who works at a store down the street came in to buy a soda out of the machine at the back of our store (we have sodas for cheap cheap cheap from a vending machine) told me that a customer came into her store and told her about them in gruesome detail. She told me she couldn't imagine having had to wait on them.
"What did I buy?!"
Things are priced. They're either priced on the box or they have a price tag on the shelf. There are rare instances where they are missing a price. But you should have a general idea of how much your purchase is before I ring it in and you pretty much SCREAM, "WHAT DID I BUY?!" I will explain to you what the highest retail price is on the screen and what the particular item was. Usually this boils down to this conversation:
SC: WHAT DID I BUY?!
Me: Shopkins.
SC: OH NO WE'RE NOT GETTING THOSE.
Child: *huge sudden tantrum, complete with shrieking and convulsions*
Me:
Vague Shit Customers Say:
"I'm looking for this candy. It's square and there was licorice in the middle."
"It's gum. I saw it here before."
"I'm looking for this thing I saw here a year ago. It's like a toy. It's got a magnet."
"Those balls. They hit each other."
"It's candy and it rolls. It like...rolls out. And it's caramel."
"They sell it in Canada."
"It's a candy bar. It's got filling."
"Do you sell hardware?"
"I need this baby thing. It's a...it's for babies."
"It's a game. It's got these cards and they've got numbers and you put them in order."
I'm weighing out some candies that are kinda heavy. So they're like .03lbs. So it's a little hard to get EXACTLY .50lbs. So when I put it all on and it comes to .51 and take one off and it's .48 and I say, "Over or under?" the correct response is one of those two options. Not for this SC.
Me: Over or under?
SC: Why can't you get it exactly half?
Me: *a tad sassy* Do you want me to cut one in half?
SC: *sheepishly* Uh...no...over is fine.
No.
SC: I want a sample of this one.
Me: We don't give out samples.
SC: Well how am I supposed to know what it tastes like?
Me: It's chocolate with peanut butter inside. It tastes like chocolate with peanut butter inside.
SC: Hmpf.
Please, for the love of God, don't do this on a Saturday.
Oblivious Mom: Can my son get a little bit of a few things in one bag?
Me: Absolutely.
OM: Okay sweetie, tell her what you want.
Oblivious Child: Um...uh...uhhhhh... Ummmm...
Me: ...........
*line begins to form*
OC: Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
OM: Maybe Swedish Fish?
OC: No...no...uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......... *points at gold coins*
OM: No. Those are too expensive.
OC: But I want them.
OM: No.
*line gets bigger*
OC: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh
*line gets even bigger*
Me:
OC: ..................................*points at Swedish Fish*
You Thought Kids were Bad?
SC: Could you ring this all up? I haven't decided on a few things.
Me: *rings up whole purchase*
SC: Okay now take this off. Okay now this. Okay now this. Okay now this. Okay now this. Etc. Etc. Etc.
And if you thought they were things from my department, you live in a wonderland.
The Stuff of Legend
We had a group that was so horrific the other day that a woman who works at a store down the street came in to buy a soda out of the machine at the back of our store (we have sodas for cheap cheap cheap from a vending machine) told me that a customer came into her store and told her about them in gruesome detail. She told me she couldn't imagine having had to wait on them.
"What did I buy?!"
Things are priced. They're either priced on the box or they have a price tag on the shelf. There are rare instances where they are missing a price. But you should have a general idea of how much your purchase is before I ring it in and you pretty much SCREAM, "WHAT DID I BUY?!" I will explain to you what the highest retail price is on the screen and what the particular item was. Usually this boils down to this conversation:
SC: WHAT DID I BUY?!
Me: Shopkins.
SC: OH NO WE'RE NOT GETTING THOSE.
Child: *huge sudden tantrum, complete with shrieking and convulsions*
Me:
Vague Shit Customers Say:
"I'm looking for this candy. It's square and there was licorice in the middle."
"It's gum. I saw it here before."
"I'm looking for this thing I saw here a year ago. It's like a toy. It's got a magnet."
"Those balls. They hit each other."
"It's candy and it rolls. It like...rolls out. And it's caramel."
"They sell it in Canada."
"It's a candy bar. It's got filling."
"Do you sell hardware?"
"I need this baby thing. It's a...it's for babies."
"It's a game. It's got these cards and they've got numbers and you put them in order."
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