Why is it so hard to find dedicated, serious role players?

[ArcticChicken]

(he's been debating running Shadowrun after that)

Love the setting, hate the system. We're considering trying to 'port the setting to another system, but we're having trouble deciding which one. These days we usually use 7th Sea as our 'port system, but that doesn't seem quite right for Shadowrun.

[Kogarashi]

I have come across some gamer couples that work really well, just as it sounds like Maggie and her hubby do. But they seem to be few and far between...and the girl is usually interested in gaming before the relationship solidifies anyway.

That's mostly been my experience too. I got into gaming after I first met Hubby, but before we got married (he was on his mission, so he wasn't even involved in that), so joining in his regular group after he got back and we started dating was pretty easy. One of the couples in our group (the pair that both play all the time), I'm not sure if the wife got into gaming before or after, but she really likes it (storyteller by nature). Another couple, the wife just doesn't join in because she doesn't care to game, but she doesn't keep her husband out of it, so we don't have to deal with drama there thank goodness.

Our group is actually more than 50% female, believe it or not. Hubby and the other two regularly gaming husbands make up the male population, with one more husband in the group who joins in occasionally. Then there's me, the wife of one of the regular husbands and the wife of the occasional gamer, and our last remaining single female gamer (my roommate from college, who helped me get into gaming). Hubby and I tend to be the primary GMs, with one of the other husbands and one of the other wives occasionally running when they have a game idea they want to do.

I've had good DM's, I've had OMGINCREDIBLE DM's, I've had DM's that I made excuses to leave after the first 2 sessions. I've also had DM's that are nothing but a contest to see how many bodies they can have piled up before the first break. (367 for the record)

the way *I* DM is I tend to give more XP for Roleplaying and thinking things through and trying to work things out, rather then go in and slaughter things needlessly.

I haven't had any really bad DMs yet, but the first game I started in started to go a little downhill when it seriously started to focus on the characters of two out of the five players, leaving the rest of us as party baggage. It didn't help that we were approached by an NPC with a deal that we all accepted, and it turned out he was evil after the fact. Everyone was dinged for it, even us neophytes, despite the fact that only one of the seasoned players knew beforehand and took the deal because his character was quickly becoming an evil NPC antagonist. We were just expected to know that the bargaining NPC was evil. This same DM started a Shadowrun game but tried to keep us out of combat, despite two of the characters being combat-focused and having no real other reason to stay with the party. The two players involved with that politely backed out of the game when it looked like the character's we'd built with the DM's help weren't going to get much use in the story he had in mind.

As for our current group, since the DMs usually have a set story in mind, we don't hand out XP for the encounters as written in the rules (in D&D/Pathfinder). Instead, we hand out levels (or partial levels) at the end of the sessions, scaling things appropriately with the story in mind. So the party completes a dungeon I have planned, they gain a level. I usually scale things so they'll be around level 20 when the final session happens. World of Darkness and similar settings are a bit easier because you don't level up so much as just get stronger, and there it makes more sense to hand out bonus XP for good roleplaying. For D&D/Pathfinder, we just hand out extra action points instead (since we're using an action point system).

So question for the other female gamers here, since I'm trying to expand my character repertoire right now: How many of you have played a male character and any advice?

My former roommate and I have both crossplayed before, but I don't know that we really have tips. Unless it's part of the character, make sure that if you're playing a guy, you don't use any overly girly habits. It's easier for the other players to remember when I'm playing a guy if I keep my voice a little lower and my personality a little less feminine.

I've written for the gaming industry, and a number of other female gamers have as well.

Neat! My husband is currently tweaking a food-based supplement he did on commission for a 3rd party publisher for D&D. He's adjusting it for Pathfinder now, and it's quite fun (not the least reason being he absolutely loves anything to do with food).

[AccountingDrone]

I gave up gaming with a group when I discovered computer RPG, then it segued into MMORPGs.

When Rob retires and we possibly move to an actual city we may take it up again, but probably not. Getting my gaming fix online is way better IMHO - I have a world of people to play with, at any hour day or night, any day of the week. I do not have to clean the house, make snacks, or listen to snarky girlfriends/boyfriends/pets. Nobody has to know my sex if I don't want them to, and if I am in a guild, we frequently have a voice chat program and I trust my group enough to not be hitting on me instead of killing the slimesnakes. I also do not have to pay attention to someone elses ammo/mana/munchies, it is automatically done and a lot less cheating.

[Sapphire Silk]

Written what, if you don't mind me asking?

I wrote several articles for the Adventurer's Club published by Hero Games, and The Gamer's Connection (a defunct gaming newszine). I also published an adventure in Heroic Adventures Vol II published by Gold Rush Games. That was quite awhile ago. I'm still an active gamer, but I drifted away from the industry after I moved to North Carolina. I simply did not have the time once I started my MSN program, and never got back into it once I was finished with it.

Have to say though, the only time I've ever met other female gamers is at Dragon Con. Can't wait till September, we're going again. My favorite time of year.

There usually was a good group of female gamers at Gen Con, and at Dun Dra Con (San Francisco, small con but a lot of fun).

Damn, it's been too long since I've been to a convention. I need to go again

[Android Kaeli]

So question for the other female gamers here, since I'm trying to expand my character repertoire right now: How many of you have played a male character and any advice?

I view playing a male character as though I'm writing a story and he's the main character. I get visuals of what he looks like, how he's going to act, ect -- just like with any female character. The last male character I RP'd was a former member of a group of rebels that set out to secretly gather certain artifacts to help get rid of a tryannical king before all but himself and a few small fractions. He was a mercenary, had so many layers between him and everyone else that no one, not even he did, knew his true nature

Before I stopped using this character, I was going to start having him develop a bit more of his true nature but the storyline I had been involved in suddenly died. This was one of my more favorite characters I've used, I'm thinking that if I ever RP again I'll use him. Hell, I still have his profile stored on my computer.


I haven't played any desktop RPG's in a long while, I tend to play more MMORPG's nowadays if possible. I'm hoping to be able to install NWN and it's expansions onto my current computer one day again, that was awesome and could easily build my own worlds with the tool builder. In fact this was the platform that I devloped a couple of character's with.

[teh_blumchenkinder]

Arctic Chicken, I hear the new ShadowRun is better, from the numbers-guys in our group...
I too have never played with another girl Meh. The games are good!
Panacea... I am totally jealous of you. Not so much for the writing, but the other things you mentioned! (so cool...)
This is an awesome thread.
EDIT: advice on playing male characters... I actually researched this, and transgender information helped. From pop-chart books to actual scholarly articles, I managed to get nuances that simply observing dudes in nature (ie my friends) didn't net me. I have to research the crap out of things before I can enact even small parts of it, like an iceberg/tip situation. I've only tried once to play a guy, and it didn't turn out well, mostly 'cuz I was a newb to gaming. Most of my characters turned out poorly (like... 5 out of the 10 I've had, I'll have to figure it out!). Granted, 3 of those characters have lasted more than a year and a half (60+sessions!), but still. One only lasted 2! (Not my fault, we broke the game-- CRIT FAIL. Even Scott was impressed.)

[Twinblade]

I just got into d&d for the first time about a month before i moved away from houston. Now i am in the southern tip o texas and cannot find ANYONE TO PLAY! Wish i lived closer to you...

[draggar]

the way *I* DM is I tend to give more XP for Roleplaying and thinking things through and trying to work things out, rather then go in and slaughter things needlessly.

When I DM'ed I did that, too. I learned to have a sheet of paper with bonus XP for players and a sheet I made with fair bonuses for non-combat items (successfully using a skill, using skills outside the normal realm, roleplaying well, etc.).

Levels did go up faster but the games were better when people realized what was going on (they learned quickly, by the third session of this we had a great RPG).

I know of one other D&D person in my area - he's into it and is jealous of my 5th edition boxed set (from the early 70's?). I'd love to get a good Spelljammer (don't knock it until you're REALLY played it) campaign going again.

[Boozy]

Sunday is a difficult day for getting people to commit.

My husband is part of a gaming group that meets Sundays, and he's always having to cancel due to family events. If anything else is going on in our lives, it's on a Sunday.

Maybe you'd have better luck trying for a night in the middle of the week?

[Mytical]

I would love, love, love to find a group. To actually play instead of running the game. For 20+ years, I've always run the groups..and to me my material is getting stale. Despite having untold number of whole galaxies, solar systems, and worlds completely mapped out...I get the BTDT syndrome. Need to actually play as a player for a bit . Skype, here, phone, whatever.

[Kogarashi]

I've only tried once to play a guy, and it didn't turn out well, mostly 'cuz I was a newb to gaming.

I would suspect having a background in story writing helps somewhat. I've played a couple guys in my roleplaying career, and even once had the players forgetting that I personally wasn't a guy. But then I used to write fiction prolifically and spent a lot of time trying to get into the heads of my male characters. Same for my female friend who roleplays guys more often than I do.

[dalesys]

I would suspect having a background in story writing helps somewhat. I've played a couple guys in my roleplaying career, and even once had the players forgetting that I personally wasn't a guy. But then I used to write fiction prolifically and spent a lot of time trying to get into the heads of my male characters. Same for my female friend who roleplays guys more often than I do.

Don't forget what socks you are!
/Monstrous Regiment

[Moirae]

You might like to consider gaming Fridays. We've always found Friday to be better. Then you have Saturday and Sunday to catch up on lost sleep so you can play as late as you want.

[Boozy]

I don't play myself, but as the wife of a gamer, I'd much rather he do Friday nights than Sunday afternoons. I can easily make plans with friends on Friday nights to keep myself busy. I wouldn't care if he was out until 4 am.

I just think of Sundays as "family time", you know?

[teh_blumchenkinder]

I might have mentioned this before, but my group and I play on Wednesdays and Thursdays. It used to be Tuesdays, then we added another game on Thursday (after I left my Thursday commitment) and Wednesdays have been around for a while. We dodge around Belegarth for one, work for another, school (most of us are graduated/out now), and Fridays/Saturdays/Sundays are party/family nights for at least two of us-- and worknights now for another! Only one of us works '9-5 M-F.' Thus we now play on Thursdays and Wednesdays.