It never ceases to amaze me how people expect their stuff, especially technology to always, always work no matter what.
Me: Thank you for calling <red checkmark>, how may I help you?
SC: This games app I use doesn't work anymore! You need to fix it for me!!
Me: I'll certainly do what I can, when did it stop working?
SC: A couple of days ago, it said I needed to update and when I tried to update it told me my phone wasn't compatible. That's bullshit, this isn't an old phone!
Me: I see here you've had the phone since early 2010.
SC: Right! NOT old!
Me: Ok, What's the name of this app you're trying to use?
SC: Super Duper Games Zone 3
(Upon investigation it turns out that Super Duper Games Zone 3 now requires a minimum of Android 4.0 to run. This guy is running 2.2. For those who may be unaware the difference between android 2.2 and 4.0+ is roughly the same as the difference between Windows 98 and Windows 7. In other words, BIG difference)
Me: Ok, sir. Super Duper Games Zone 3 requires Android 4.0 and up. Unfortunately your phone can only be upgraded to 2.3.6.
SC: What the hell does that mean?
Me: It means that you won't be able to use this app until you get another phone.
SC: And are you going to send me another phone?
Me: I can look into your upgrade options if you like, since you've had the phone so long I'm sure you're probably eligible to get something newer.
SC: I'm not paying for a new phone. I want a phone that works, that plays games. Make my phone work.
Me: I can't.
SC: WHAT?!
Me: I can't make your phone work.
SC: Then find me someone who can!
Me: No one can sir, your phone can not handle the update necessary to play those games.
SC: Then how the hell am I supposed to play them?
Me: The only way to keep playing would be to get a more recent phone.
SC: I already told you this phone isn't old!
Me: Well not chronologically, no, but three plus years is quite awhile where phone technology is concerned. Your phone just can't handle these games anymore.
SC: I do NOT accept that. I'm paying you for a service, either you make the service work or send me a phone that works.
Me: You pay us for your calling, messaging and data services. All of those are working right now.
SC: No they're not! I can't get into my games!
Me: Just because that particular game doesn't work doesn't mean your services are messed up. Your phone software is out of date.
SC: No it isn't! Make it work!
Me: I can't
SC: Make it work!
Me: Unless you upgrade your phone, there's no way to play the games.
SC: I ain't paying a penny more. You hear me? Not one penny. Not for a phone, not for fees, not for nothing.
Me: Then there is absolutely nothing I can do.
SC: Fix my phone!
Me: Your phone isn't broken sir, it's just outdated.
SC: That's it! I've had it with you people! I pay for a service and I expect that service. You're denying me my service! You're in violation of the contract! I'll sue for you for this!!
Me: Since you have now threatened legal action, I can no longer continue this call. Please hold for our legal department.
I had another one in a similar vein except that in that case her phone could actually be updated to a recent enough software version to handle the app she wanted to run. The problem? She would have to gasp! - plug the phone up to a computer to download the update.
Because god forbid she'd have to actually like, do some work for it.
She didn't threaten legal action but she sure was pissed.
Me: Thank you for calling <red checkmark>, how may I help you?
SC: This games app I use doesn't work anymore! You need to fix it for me!!
Me: I'll certainly do what I can, when did it stop working?
SC: A couple of days ago, it said I needed to update and when I tried to update it told me my phone wasn't compatible. That's bullshit, this isn't an old phone!
Me: I see here you've had the phone since early 2010.
SC: Right! NOT old!
Me: Ok, What's the name of this app you're trying to use?
SC: Super Duper Games Zone 3
(Upon investigation it turns out that Super Duper Games Zone 3 now requires a minimum of Android 4.0 to run. This guy is running 2.2. For those who may be unaware the difference between android 2.2 and 4.0+ is roughly the same as the difference between Windows 98 and Windows 7. In other words, BIG difference)
Me: Ok, sir. Super Duper Games Zone 3 requires Android 4.0 and up. Unfortunately your phone can only be upgraded to 2.3.6.
SC: What the hell does that mean?
Me: It means that you won't be able to use this app until you get another phone.
SC: And are you going to send me another phone?
Me: I can look into your upgrade options if you like, since you've had the phone so long I'm sure you're probably eligible to get something newer.
SC: I'm not paying for a new phone. I want a phone that works, that plays games. Make my phone work.
Me: I can't.
SC: WHAT?!
Me: I can't make your phone work.
SC: Then find me someone who can!
Me: No one can sir, your phone can not handle the update necessary to play those games.
SC: Then how the hell am I supposed to play them?
Me: The only way to keep playing would be to get a more recent phone.
SC: I already told you this phone isn't old!
Me: Well not chronologically, no, but three plus years is quite awhile where phone technology is concerned. Your phone just can't handle these games anymore.
SC: I do NOT accept that. I'm paying you for a service, either you make the service work or send me a phone that works.
Me: You pay us for your calling, messaging and data services. All of those are working right now.
SC: No they're not! I can't get into my games!
Me: Just because that particular game doesn't work doesn't mean your services are messed up. Your phone software is out of date.
SC: No it isn't! Make it work!
Me: I can't
SC: Make it work!
Me: Unless you upgrade your phone, there's no way to play the games.
SC: I ain't paying a penny more. You hear me? Not one penny. Not for a phone, not for fees, not for nothing.
Me: Then there is absolutely nothing I can do.
SC: Fix my phone!
Me: Your phone isn't broken sir, it's just outdated.
SC: That's it! I've had it with you people! I pay for a service and I expect that service. You're denying me my service! You're in violation of the contract! I'll sue for you for this!!
Me: Since you have now threatened legal action, I can no longer continue this call. Please hold for our legal department.
I had another one in a similar vein except that in that case her phone could actually be updated to a recent enough software version to handle the app she wanted to run. The problem? She would have to gasp! - plug the phone up to a computer to download the update.
Because god forbid she'd have to actually like, do some work for it.
She didn't threaten legal action but she sure was pissed.
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