Dumbest thing an ex ever said

[Rainman]

Oh lord. . . Before I met and married Mrs Rainman, NONE of the girls/women I dated were what you would call "sane" (I had this delusion that the perfect relationship would come from me "fixing" a girl with baggage, how wrong I was.)

Anyway, just the first one that comes to mind, I was 16, dating this girl, lets call her Amy. We were walking in the park when we saw an injured duck flopping around by the river. She wanted me to go rescue the duck so we could take it to an animal shelter. Long story short, I didn't want to go chase down a duck, she kept insisting I HAD to, then finally she came at me with this.

Amy: You WILL go rescue that poor duck, or I will NEVER have sex with you AGAIN!!

I thought she was jumping the gun a bit, considering at that point we had not even HAD sex yet.

[blas]

Recently, the Petulant Whiney Bitch was at the bar with a bunch of our other coworkers after the last shift of the week (I was laid off that week, and most likely if I'd been there, he wouldn't have gone), and was blubbering into his drink telling Miss Too Nice about how I took my brother's side over his.

Anyone remember my story about Whiney, me, my brother, and his gf all going to the same movie show time? And Whiney threw a silent tantrum that my brother and his gf were trying to talk to him and get to know him? So he sat and pouted and read a book on his phone nearly the entire movie? Then after we got back to my place, he told me he was hungry and needed to go home now..

Well, Whiney hated the fact that my brother, his gf, and I stuck to our story that we did EVERYTHING possible to be nice to him, to include him in conversations, to TRY to get him out of his baby shell. HIS side of the story is we all ignored him and only talked about stuff he didn't want to talk about, so that's why he read a book on his phone and ignored us.

Oh, and Whiney's favorite was usually "That's rude"

The reason he always gave me the silent treatment? I was supposed to "know" what is rude and what isn't, in his opinion. The person who builds the biggest walls around themself, also expects every person to KNOW to not say "rude" things.

The worst part of this? Just about everyone feels bad for him and thinks I'm just this mean girl who stomped all over his heart and didn't care enough for him, look how miserable he is!!!

OH. CRY. ME. A. FUCKING. RIVER.

[taxguykarl]

A couple of good ones both from the same crack-using psycho ex-GF.

In cronological order:

She left a voicemail requesting "help" (her words--most likely financial) and gave some cock and bull story about getting robbed...Yeah right--more likely she and her real BF exhausted it on a crack binge (another long painful story). The other problem with the voicemail: she forgot (or didn;t know how) to hang it up and I heard in the background.
Real BF: So is the nerd (his name for me I found out)
Ex GF: This is his fucking voice mail...
Real BF: Did you leave this number you stupid bitch
Ex GF: I wasn't when we still had rocks and money
Real BF: Fuck you [inaudible]

The rest of the dialogue (about 5 minutes worth) was inaudible...damn that POS voice mail software I couldn't stop it to delete if I wanted to.

The last I heard from her (knock on wood):
/BG: I have no idea how (and I'm not sure I want to, come to think of it) exGF got GF's (now Mrs. TGK's) contact information and viley cursed her out over the phone. /End BG
She seriously asked if she was invited to our (my and now Mrs. TGK's) wedding. I told her that our guest list was already more than the fire marshall would allow (this BTW was the case--we were counting on my widely-scattered cousins not coming).

[Dria]

"You know, when you get an IT job you're going to want to be really good at Googling stuff. I have to do it all the time."
"Nah, if I need to know something I'll just call you."
"But I'll be at work too."
"So?"



The guy, in addition to being far less technically literate than he made himself out to be (or literate at all, honestly), was a misogynistic abusive dickweed. Didn't take long for my wakeup call to come and I was out of there like an email you just realized you shouldn't have sent.

[Der Cute]

My ex and I were in the middle of a break-up. I had started it, but, that didn't mean he really had the right to be super mean.
One night we were lying in bed, and he said "The next woman I meet, I'll marry her." I think I pulled my pillow and blankey and slept on the couch. I don't remember. I just remember him saying that and me just turning into ICE.

[ApolloSZ]

The crazy one wanted to be "friends with benefits" after we broke up. The truth as to why came to light when she was talking to a friend of mine (at friends work, so friend couldn't escape). She wanted to be FWB so she could get pregnant, but didn't expect me to want to have anything to do with the kid. She was that fixated on having a baby. At 19.

Why is this dumb? Because anyone who knows me, will tell you I'm not that kind of person. When I have kids. I will be there for them. She, so it seems, Did not know me that well. Even after 3 years together. Also, she did not get her wish with me.

[blas]

An ex from years back, breaks up with me right before a very important birthday....

Right as he's about to leave...

"I'll still take you out to dinner for your birthday."

Then a few weeks later, wanted to be FWB.

For real? I may be blonde. I'm not a reh-tard.

[Severen13]

From my oldest, this happened just a few days ago

He had the nerve to ask her for her engagement ring so he could propose to the slut he cheated on my Oldest with

You hunted him down and shot him like the dog he is, right?

[FormerCallingCardRep]

He left town the next morning. THis happened last Thursday night and right now he is in Nashville TN with the girlfriend

[Redbeard]

I guess I should consider myself lucky that my ex never tried anything like that with me, at least that I know of.

My ex wife and a crazy ex girlfiriend tried this.
They stoped REAL fast when my lady friends at the club that we went to (No scene in the town we lived in, there was really only one place to go for music and socializing) offered to show them the error of their ways with fists and boots to the head.

That reminds me!

When the ex wife found out that I was dating the wonderful woman who later became Mrs Redbeard, she actually hit on her by using the line "So...you're dating Redbeard huh? Why don't you come with me tonight?"
To her credit, she didn't hit my ex, didn't throw her out a window, she just...turned around and walked off..

[Andara Bledin]

The worst part of this? Just about everyone feels bad for him and thinks I'm just this mean girl who stomped all over his heart and didn't care enough for him, look how miserable he is!!!

Don't worry. The ones worth associating with will figure it out.

I was in a similar situation but for slightly different reasons.

It doesn't hurt that the universal reaction once I was out of that relationship was for people I knew to comment on how much happier I seemed. Relationships with man-babies make you look bad. Somehow, the man-babies are never seen to be at fault.

^-.-^

[blas]

Thanks, Andara. I do feel and seem and AM much better lately

Only, I feel as right as you may be, everyone else sees it as me being smug or being joyful while he's in pain. Just as you said, they do no wrong, right?

Thankfully, the few and far between who've gotten to know me and know me well these past few years in that area at work know what I went through and they know why I ended it and they don't blame me one bit.

[Elspeth]

Dating a guy in while I was in jr high and he was in high school (about a year or so at this point). I got grounded about the time his got is first car. I couldn't go out with him so he broke it off. Later that weekend, he said "if you could have gone for a ride I would have stayed together we you."

Oddly enough most of his friends sided with me and though he was a jackass.

It all worked out in the end. Met and started dating the future hubby later that year, we have been together 21 years.

[wraiths_crono]

Hmm got a great one here:

Girl breaks up with me because she has problems with me playing video games, something she only told me AFTER she left me. She continues to hang out with my best friend on a weekly basis but they both claim there's nothing going on. soon as, and I mean 2 days AFTER I get with a new girl they both come to my house and declare they decided to hook up, i smiled, closed the door on them and then she called me and said: "You need to grow up, and just be friends with the both of us, stop being a child about this you got someone new so im going to date your friend just deal with it, and your friends that agree with you, well they are WRONG because they just tell you what you want to hear."

Hmmm wonder if this started before she left me, as I found out he went TO MY HOUSE every night he left work to hang out with her and play video games and watch movies.

[Rapscallion]

Did you ever speak to either of them after that?

Rapscallion