Tweet
Send Help (+New Comics)
So many stupid questions last night. SO MANY. 
867
Me: "and what's the product id?"
SC: "xxxx-xx"
Me: "Ok, I only have that item in red."
SC: "Do you have it in white?"
Ok, wait, I know just the thing:
on·ly
Pronunciation Key - Pronunciation [ohn-lee]
–adverb
1. without others or anything further; alone; solely; exclusively.
Alright, now, here's what I need you to do: Take the above and print it out, er…..ok wait. There probably isn't anything with the technological level remotely required to print a document within 200 kms of you. Ok, new plan: Scrawl the above down on a piece of scrap paper, construction paper or back of an empty pizza box with a sharpie or crayon ( You know, whatever's on hand. ). Now, take a pair of scissors ( You have those right? If not a hack saw works. ) and cut it out. Alright, now take the resulting piece of paper / cardboard and tape / glue / tie it with the cable from your jeep winch to a large blunt object such as a rock, beer cooler, old engine block from the back yard or, if you can find one, a heavy book ( Not like you're using it anyway. ). Now take that, turn it so the words are facing you….and beat yourself in the face with it until the concept sinks in or you lose consciousness.
Either one of those will solve both our problems at this point so I'm not picky. Oh, right, I'm working on my call etiquette, so thank you for calling.
Screenplay
SC: "Every time I call the hotel number some little kid answers and whispers at me to please be quiet."
Wait, did I walk onto the set for The Grudge 3?
867
SC: "Can you hold on for like 3 minutes?"
Can you go without beer, pork or hamburger helper for 3 minutes?
867
SC: "So how's this work? Do I like tell you my prescription?"
Yes, that’s right. Give me your prescription so I can custom tailor the lens for the cheap stock sunglasses you're trying to order you raging idiot. Please go find a polar bear and poke him in the ass with a turkey baster. You shouldn't have to look hard to find one. Try the garage.
867
Me: "Ok, what colour would you like it in?"
SC: "Grey camo."
Me: "Grey camo?"
SC: "er…green camo."
Me: "Green camo?"
SC: "Um, grey camo."
Ok, stop. Enough. Get off the phone, go out to the garage and look around till you see the fat polar bear next to the damp red stain. This might take some extra effort since he's already eaten, so try this: Go over to him, drop your pants and physically try to slap him across the face with your butt until all your problems ( Well, mine ) are solved.
867
Stop! Stop! What in the world is going on up there?! Is it Get Liquored Up And Order Pants day in Nunavut or something?! Why do you need so many pants? That was like $700 worth of pants. What happened to your pants? Can you not find your pants? Are you ordering pants for the entire village? Please, give me a reason! My brain needs logic to survive! THROW ME A BONE, MAN!
Technology
SC: "I need to know how many times they never called my phone."
Wait….what? That, but…..what? What in the world do you want from me? I'm pretty sure I said <Company> when I picked up the line….did I make a mistake? Did I accidentally say "Madam Cleo's" or something? I think you're vastly overestimating the power of technology. We may have to confiscate your cellphone. But don't worry, we'll give you a colouring book and a happy meal in exchange.
Cellphones kill Braincells
Me: "Ok, the number is 1-Eight Hundred-"
SC: "Does that have two 0's?"
Me: "…yes."
Ok, I give up, that’s enough for tonight. If you want me I'll be in the corner by the fax machine crying and waiting for sunrise.
Confusibobulated
Me: "What's your postal code?"
SC: "Box xxx"
Me: "Ok, but what's the postal code?"
SC: "Box xxx"
Me: "What's the postal code though?"
SC: "Box xxx!"
Me: "Yes, but what's the postal code?"
SC: "THATS WHAT I'M TELLING YOU!!!! PO BOX XXX!"
Me: "I understand that, but what's the postal code?"
SC: "Oh, T0L-"
Argh! And my friends wonder why I don't leave my house on my days off. Because THAT’S whats outside and I am afraid.
I Weep
Caller called to ask what kind of soap was being used in the tub in the commercial. If you do not yet weep for the future of humanity, now would be a great day to start. I can give you some pointers if you want.
Comics:
Superpowered:
http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/9819/ofcomic9pc6.jpg
Meanwhile, in CSR Heaven 2:
http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/6924/ofcomic8tp7.jpg
They let me leave a half hour early for drawing two new comics this week.
( Seriously, lol )
867
Me: "and what's the product id?"
SC: "xxxx-xx"
Me: "Ok, I only have that item in red."
SC: "Do you have it in white?"
Ok, wait, I know just the thing:
on·ly
Pronunciation Key - Pronunciation [ohn-lee]
–adverb
1. without others or anything further; alone; solely; exclusively.
Alright, now, here's what I need you to do: Take the above and print it out, er…..ok wait. There probably isn't anything with the technological level remotely required to print a document within 200 kms of you. Ok, new plan: Scrawl the above down on a piece of scrap paper, construction paper or back of an empty pizza box with a sharpie or crayon ( You know, whatever's on hand. ). Now, take a pair of scissors ( You have those right? If not a hack saw works. ) and cut it out. Alright, now take the resulting piece of paper / cardboard and tape / glue / tie it with the cable from your jeep winch to a large blunt object such as a rock, beer cooler, old engine block from the back yard or, if you can find one, a heavy book ( Not like you're using it anyway. ). Now take that, turn it so the words are facing you….and beat yourself in the face with it until the concept sinks in or you lose consciousness.
Either one of those will solve both our problems at this point so I'm not picky. Oh, right, I'm working on my call etiquette, so thank you for calling.
Screenplay
SC: "Every time I call the hotel number some little kid answers and whispers at me to please be quiet."
Wait, did I walk onto the set for The Grudge 3?
867
SC: "Can you hold on for like 3 minutes?"
Can you go without beer, pork or hamburger helper for 3 minutes?
867
SC: "So how's this work? Do I like tell you my prescription?"
Yes, that’s right. Give me your prescription so I can custom tailor the lens for the cheap stock sunglasses you're trying to order you raging idiot. Please go find a polar bear and poke him in the ass with a turkey baster. You shouldn't have to look hard to find one. Try the garage.
867
Me: "Ok, what colour would you like it in?"
SC: "Grey camo."
Me: "Grey camo?"
SC: "er…green camo."
Me: "Green camo?"
SC: "Um, grey camo."
Ok, stop. Enough. Get off the phone, go out to the garage and look around till you see the fat polar bear next to the damp red stain. This might take some extra effort since he's already eaten, so try this: Go over to him, drop your pants and physically try to slap him across the face with your butt until all your problems ( Well, mine ) are solved.
867
Stop! Stop! What in the world is going on up there?! Is it Get Liquored Up And Order Pants day in Nunavut or something?! Why do you need so many pants? That was like $700 worth of pants. What happened to your pants? Can you not find your pants? Are you ordering pants for the entire village? Please, give me a reason! My brain needs logic to survive! THROW ME A BONE, MAN!
Technology
SC: "I need to know how many times they never called my phone."
Wait….what? That, but…..what? What in the world do you want from me? I'm pretty sure I said <Company> when I picked up the line….did I make a mistake? Did I accidentally say "Madam Cleo's" or something? I think you're vastly overestimating the power of technology. We may have to confiscate your cellphone. But don't worry, we'll give you a colouring book and a happy meal in exchange.
Cellphones kill Braincells
Me: "Ok, the number is 1-Eight Hundred-"
SC: "Does that have two 0's?"
Me: "…yes."
Ok, I give up, that’s enough for tonight. If you want me I'll be in the corner by the fax machine crying and waiting for sunrise.
Confusibobulated
Me: "What's your postal code?"
SC: "Box xxx"
Me: "Ok, but what's the postal code?"
SC: "Box xxx"
Me: "What's the postal code though?"
SC: "Box xxx!"
Me: "Yes, but what's the postal code?"
SC: "THATS WHAT I'M TELLING YOU!!!! PO BOX XXX!"
Me: "I understand that, but what's the postal code?"
SC: "Oh, T0L-"
Argh! And my friends wonder why I don't leave my house on my days off. Because THAT’S whats outside and I am afraid.
I Weep
Caller called to ask what kind of soap was being used in the tub in the commercial. If you do not yet weep for the future of humanity, now would be a great day to start. I can give you some pointers if you want.
Comics:
Superpowered:
http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/9819/ofcomic9pc6.jpg
Meanwhile, in CSR Heaven 2:
http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/6924/ofcomic8tp7.jpg
They let me leave a half hour early for drawing two new comics this week.
( Seriously, lol )
Have a 
I've wanted to do that first one soooo many times!
Comment