So as some of you know, I've been bouncing between universities for the past few years. I decided to transfer from University A because of the cost of going to school in Nova Scotia, plus other factors I don't fully recall now. I was doing decently, but not exceptionally before the transfer. Once I transferred to University B everything went down hill. I started suffering academically, I had a ton of personal and financial problems, and it was just an all out horrible experience. After my third and final semester there in Winter 2011 I made the choice to move back to NS and return to University A. Sadly, my GPA just was not up to snuff and I was unable to transfer. So I started looking at University C. Due to my academic issues at University B, University C wanted me to wait 12 months before they would consider my application.
So I applied to start attending University C for Spring 2012, partly because I wanted to get back to school as soon as possible, and partly because I really hated working at Call Center. I was accepted at University C on probation. Not wanting waste this very kind opportunity, and realizing over my year off that I needed to apply myself more, I started classes at University C in May and really worked hard.
There were a lot of struggles with health issues, financial issues, a really douchy councelor, and a lot of self doubt; but I just continued to work as hard as I could. By the end of August I felt fairly positive that I had passed three of my classes, and dismally failed another. I was 100% sure I had failed that course, and knew that I would probably receive notice soon that I was being kicked out of school. Furthermore, even if I was able to maintain the barest GPA to prevent my expulsion, Student Loans had informed me that if I failed another class I would lose funding for a year. I knew I was doomed.
Then last week I got my grades. The class I was sure I failed? I got a B-! I had a B+ in two of my other courses, and an A+ in Psychology.
An A+ in a University course!!!
I didn't even get an A+ when I was in high school! I have never done this well in school. And I have to believe that my past failures were due to a lack of effort and focus on my part. If I just push myself, I know now I can achieve great things!
And I'm not longer on probation! It's awesome!
There is just one problem, kind of. Now that I have proven I can get amazing grades, my parents expect me to maintain them. I currently have a 3.5GPA. When I was in high school my GPA was 2.7. In my university career before now, it was even lower. That is a huge gap. I just don't feel like I can live up to the expectation. I actually have a psych course this semester with the same prof who gave me the A+ this summer. I'm so scared I am going to mess up and disappoint everyone, especially myself.
I'm still not sure by what miracle I got that B- in the class I thought I failed. I suppose I just Aced the final. Still, I can't help feeling like this is the calm before the storm, that everything is just going to go down hill from here. I have Math this semester, and while I was in Advanced Placement for math in high school I barely squeaked by. I'm just so sure I'm going to mess this all up.
Am I just being pessimistic and paranoid? The fact I was able to get into University A originally shows that I'm pretty smart as it is a very hard school to get into. My low GPA in high school was mostly caused by a few bad classes, and my low math grades. There is part of me that is so confident that I can maintain my grades and possibly even improve, but I just can't get past this niggling feeling that I'm just going to mess everything up.
I don't know what to do.
So I applied to start attending University C for Spring 2012, partly because I wanted to get back to school as soon as possible, and partly because I really hated working at Call Center. I was accepted at University C on probation. Not wanting waste this very kind opportunity, and realizing over my year off that I needed to apply myself more, I started classes at University C in May and really worked hard.
There were a lot of struggles with health issues, financial issues, a really douchy councelor, and a lot of self doubt; but I just continued to work as hard as I could. By the end of August I felt fairly positive that I had passed three of my classes, and dismally failed another. I was 100% sure I had failed that course, and knew that I would probably receive notice soon that I was being kicked out of school. Furthermore, even if I was able to maintain the barest GPA to prevent my expulsion, Student Loans had informed me that if I failed another class I would lose funding for a year. I knew I was doomed.
Then last week I got my grades. The class I was sure I failed? I got a B-! I had a B+ in two of my other courses, and an A+ in Psychology.
An A+ in a University course!!!
I didn't even get an A+ when I was in high school! I have never done this well in school. And I have to believe that my past failures were due to a lack of effort and focus on my part. If I just push myself, I know now I can achieve great things!
And I'm not longer on probation! It's awesome!
There is just one problem, kind of. Now that I have proven I can get amazing grades, my parents expect me to maintain them. I currently have a 3.5GPA. When I was in high school my GPA was 2.7. In my university career before now, it was even lower. That is a huge gap. I just don't feel like I can live up to the expectation. I actually have a psych course this semester with the same prof who gave me the A+ this summer. I'm so scared I am going to mess up and disappoint everyone, especially myself.
I'm still not sure by what miracle I got that B- in the class I thought I failed. I suppose I just Aced the final. Still, I can't help feeling like this is the calm before the storm, that everything is just going to go down hill from here. I have Math this semester, and while I was in Advanced Placement for math in high school I barely squeaked by. I'm just so sure I'm going to mess this all up.
Am I just being pessimistic and paranoid? The fact I was able to get into University A originally shows that I'm pretty smart as it is a very hard school to get into. My low GPA in high school was mostly caused by a few bad classes, and my low math grades. There is part of me that is so confident that I can maintain my grades and possibly even improve, but I just can't get past this niggling feeling that I'm just going to mess everything up.
I don't know what to do.
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