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  • #1

    Delivery isn't slow enough

    We had a couple housekeeping uniforms that super-sewing-CW was adjusting for another GM. Boss Man was going to deliver them to Other GM at an upcoming meeting, but she suddenly decided that no, she needs them this weekend, and could we ship them?

    Boss Man, being a smart ass (and not exactly loving Other GM either) went to UPS, where the following conversation ensued.

    BM: I need this shipped to [city] and I'd like it to take as long as possible. Can you make it take a week?
    UPS: Well...the slowest we have is ground, and with that it will be there next day.
    BM: Nothing slower? Can't we route it through Philadelphia or something? Send it on a ship?
    UPS: Um...no, sorry. It goes out on a truck to [big city] today.
    BM: Would FedEx be slower?
    How do you answer that? Do you say that the competition is faster, and therefore better than you, or do you say the competition is slower, and lose this delivery?
    UPS: I don't think they could help you any more than we could.
    Good save.
    BM: Well, okay then.

    Only my boss would complain about a delivery service not being slow enough. To the UPS employee, I'm sorry my boss is such a smartass and that you had to deal with him. (Probably wasn't too sucky, but he can take his smartassness to the point of being annoying).
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
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  • #2
    wow, what a douchy bitch for demanding shipment on a favor. it's important? hump your lazy ass over and get it yourself, then. (unless, of course, she's outside of reasonable driving range, but still...that's the wrong kind of ballzy)

    lol at the boss though; i'm betting if he'd explained a bit of the situation, the worker would have had a laugh with him. i know i would have.
    look! it's ghengis khan!
    Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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    • #3
      Ship it through USPS with registered and certified with signature required. Usually takes at least five days.
      Labor boards have info on local laws for free
      HR believes the first person in the door
      Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
      Document everything
      CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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      • #4
        We had the most awesome shipping company in my last job (and we needed it - we shipped stuff to ridiculous places for the military, who want stuff there yesterday if not last week), and I bet if we'd had a similar situation, they would have taken it as a challenge to get the slowest shipping possible...routing a package through Outer Mongolia, anyone?
        I speak English, L33t, Sarcasm and basic Idiot.

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        • #5
          Quoth wagegoth View Post
          Ship it through USPS with registered and certified with signature required. Usually takes at least five days.
          or send it USPS at 3rd or 4th class shipping. that can take a week or more.

          or hell have him ship it USPS to someone on a navy ship and then have that person send it back. If they're deployed the package can float around for 2 months at least.

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          • #6
            Depending on where the other GM is, shipping it Express Saver via FedEx usually takes up to 3 days. Even if they are in the next city over and it just takes an hour to get there. Seriously. We learned this the hard way when we used FedEx for a very short time. We quickly learned to use Ground and it got there much faster. But then FedEx even started screwing with Ground so we went back to UPS quickly.
            Random conversation:
            Me: Okay..so I think I get why Zoro wears a bandana
            DDD: Cuz it's cool
            So, by using the Doctor's reasoning, bow ties, fezzes and bandanas are cool.

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            • #7
              or strap it to the back of a homing turtle; it'll get there...eventually.
              look! it's ghengis khan!
              Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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              • #8
                Is this lady paying for shipping? Because you always have the option of shipping it RED (more expensive), even when Ground takes the same length of time. After all, it's the thought that counts.
                A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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                • #9
                  Media mail seems to take slightly less than forever...
                  Unseen but seeing
                  oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                  There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                  3rd shift needs love, too
                  RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                  • #10
                    There was/is a prank the airline baggage-handlers were/are supposed to pull on the Fleming Eyniss type of traveler...

                    They "bomb bayed" them...

                    Routed their luggage through Bombay, Tel Aviv, Madrid, Nairobi, Jeddah, ....
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Becks View Post
                      Media mail seems to take slightly less than forever...
                      I HATE media mail! It costs way more and takes forever to get there.
                      I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                      Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth dalesys View Post
                        There was/is a prank the airline baggage-handlers were/are supposed to pull on the Fleming Eyniss type of traveler...

                        They "bomb bayed" them...

                        Routed their luggage through Bombay, Tel Aviv, Madrid, Nairobi, Jeddah, ....
                        Let's see, that's India, Israel, Spain, Kenya, Saudi Arabia...

                        Where are these people flying to and from?

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Chromatix View Post
                          Let's see, that's India, Israel, Spain, Kenya, Saudi Arabia...

                          Where are these people flying to and from?
                          Probably Cincinnati to Cleveland.
                          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Chromatix View Post
                            Where are these people flying to and from?
                            The weren't....but their luggage was.

                            Side note - Years ago, I flew from Ft. Lauderdale to El Paso (with a stop in Houston). My luggage beat me.
                            It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Bella_Vixen View Post
                              I HATE media mail! It costs way more and takes forever to get there.
                              More? o_O

                              Maybe we're thinking of different sending methods here, but MM is by far the cheapest method of sending stuff I've ever used...Granted, it's only usable for "media" (CD/DVD/book/VHS, etc), and yes, it does take forever and a day.

                              Parcel Post would be similarly slow, but more expensive.
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