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Let’s just jump right into it shall we?
At the in-store Starbucks
I stopped here first because I hadn’t had much in the way of coffee or tea at all today. I was waiting behind a guy who was demanding to know why the English Breakfast tea wasn’t from England.
Seriously. He kept going on and on and on and on, claiming that it wasn’t right calling it English if it wasn’t from England, and that was false advertisement, la la la. The poor barista, who knows me on sight and my usual drink order was trying to explain to him that she had no control over what things were named, or where they came from. She was just trying to get his drink order. And he wouldn’t cooperate.
TI (Tea Idiot): But, if it’s mined in Asia or Africa, why is it called ENGLISH Breakfast Tea!?! How is that fair to the English, putting their name on a product that isn’t THEIRS!
B(Barista): Sir, I don’t know, but if you don’t want it, then is there some other drink I can get started for you?
TI: I wanted tea, but not if it’s false tea
B: …
TI: What else do you have?
B: <She goes through the entire menu with him, including the seasonal offerings>
TI: Huh. Tough choice. What kind of teas did you have again, that aren’t false?
Me: >.< Of for the love of cheez-its!
TI: What? What?? <And he turns on me> Are you trying to say you’d willingly get an English breakfast tea that isn’t English!?!
Me: Sure, I’d get the tea here!
TI: But whhhhy??
Me: For one thing, it’s Tazo brand, and they’re a particular favorite, because they’re a company that focuses on bettering living conditions for tea suppliers and growers, and secondly because their tea is awesome.
TI: But they’re lying about their products. Why else would they have THAT <he points to the apparently offensive tea> an English tea that--
Me: It’s NOT English. Tazo teas come from India, predominantly. That tea you’re pointing to is called Awake. Tazo doesn’t MAKE an English Breakfast tea. I’m guessing people haven’t told this hoping you’d realize it yourself and stop being a sanctimonious ass.
TI: …
Me: by the way, I recommend the passion. It’s caffeine free, somehow I don’t think you need the extra energy…
TI: <Huffs and storms off>
Me: Guess he didn’t want tea that badly.
B: Oh, thank you jesus, I thought he’d NEVER leave.
At the checkout
Thankfully it was a super short trip, I knew exactly what I needed, and the aisles they were in were very close together. It was also early on a Friday morning. So, I was able to get to the checkout lane without incident. However the woman in front of me apparently had issues with me trying to put my items on the conveyer belt. She started loading her massive cartload of stuff onto the belt, I get in line behind her. She looks at me and starts spacing her stuff out. For example, she’d put a jar of peanut butter down, then a bottle of wine five inches behind it, then a tube of toothpaste behind that, etc, etc. I was standing about a foot away from where the conveyor belt ended, and she had to keep walking closer and closer to my cart. I didn’t move an inch. She huffs and starts to get snappy.
Her: <being all huffy> Do you mind? I have a lot more stuff!
Me: <smiles politely> I can see that. <And I don’t move an inch>
Her: Well, SOME people need to understand the concept of SPACE!
Me: <I can’t help it, I look at the conveyor belt with 6 items spaced out on it, tilt my head and look at her, still smiling sweetly> Oh, I couldn’t agree more…
Cue CBF, she proceeds with her transaction, and is one of those who proceeds to argue over the smallest item. That’s not $2.99! It’s $2.98!!!!11!!!!, etc, etc. I simply stand there, the whole time, not moving an inch, watching. And smiling. She kept darting glances my way, and making evil faces. I smiled more. It was amusing to me.
You KILLED it!!!
I was sitting at the bus stop, waiting to go home. Once again, I was behind an impatient asstard. He’s got a bike, and when we see the bus approaching, everyone stands up and starts gathering their stuff. Now, I keep my keys clipped to my bag, and my pepperspray is clipped to my keychain. Mr. MeFirst decided since he had a bike to secure to the front rack of the bus, he had priority, no matter what anyone else said. That being so, he picks up his bike and shoves his way towards where the front of the bus will be.
The handlebar of his bike catches my keychain, and yanks my pepperspray clean off. It bounces on the ground and lands in the street, right as the bus pulls up.
Pop!
Pffft!!!
Pepperspray death.
Thanks a lot…
Thankfully, the cloud was under the bus so no one got a face full (But I was secretly hoping it was close enough to the front that Mr. MeFirst would take a hit. I know, bad Lupo!) But now I don’t have pepperspray. Sadness.
Not too bad today, but I’ve had a raging headache most of the day. I think the Aleve is starting to kick in though, so hopefully that will end soon.
The End!!!
At the in-store Starbucks
I stopped here first because I hadn’t had much in the way of coffee or tea at all today. I was waiting behind a guy who was demanding to know why the English Breakfast tea wasn’t from England.
Seriously. He kept going on and on and on and on, claiming that it wasn’t right calling it English if it wasn’t from England, and that was false advertisement, la la la. The poor barista, who knows me on sight and my usual drink order was trying to explain to him that she had no control over what things were named, or where they came from. She was just trying to get his drink order. And he wouldn’t cooperate.
TI (Tea Idiot): But, if it’s mined in Asia or Africa, why is it called ENGLISH Breakfast Tea!?! How is that fair to the English, putting their name on a product that isn’t THEIRS!
B(Barista): Sir, I don’t know, but if you don’t want it, then is there some other drink I can get started for you?
TI: I wanted tea, but not if it’s false tea
B: …
TI: What else do you have?
B: <She goes through the entire menu with him, including the seasonal offerings>
TI: Huh. Tough choice. What kind of teas did you have again, that aren’t false?
Me: >.< Of for the love of cheez-its!
TI: What? What?? <And he turns on me> Are you trying to say you’d willingly get an English breakfast tea that isn’t English!?!
Me: Sure, I’d get the tea here!
TI: But whhhhy??
Me: For one thing, it’s Tazo brand, and they’re a particular favorite, because they’re a company that focuses on bettering living conditions for tea suppliers and growers, and secondly because their tea is awesome.
TI: But they’re lying about their products. Why else would they have THAT <he points to the apparently offensive tea> an English tea that--
Me: It’s NOT English. Tazo teas come from India, predominantly. That tea you’re pointing to is called Awake. Tazo doesn’t MAKE an English Breakfast tea. I’m guessing people haven’t told this hoping you’d realize it yourself and stop being a sanctimonious ass.
TI: …
Me: by the way, I recommend the passion. It’s caffeine free, somehow I don’t think you need the extra energy…
TI: <Huffs and storms off>
Me: Guess he didn’t want tea that badly.
B: Oh, thank you jesus, I thought he’d NEVER leave.
At the checkout
Thankfully it was a super short trip, I knew exactly what I needed, and the aisles they were in were very close together. It was also early on a Friday morning. So, I was able to get to the checkout lane without incident. However the woman in front of me apparently had issues with me trying to put my items on the conveyer belt. She started loading her massive cartload of stuff onto the belt, I get in line behind her. She looks at me and starts spacing her stuff out. For example, she’d put a jar of peanut butter down, then a bottle of wine five inches behind it, then a tube of toothpaste behind that, etc, etc. I was standing about a foot away from where the conveyor belt ended, and she had to keep walking closer and closer to my cart. I didn’t move an inch. She huffs and starts to get snappy.
Her: <being all huffy> Do you mind? I have a lot more stuff!
Me: <smiles politely> I can see that. <And I don’t move an inch>
Her: Well, SOME people need to understand the concept of SPACE!
Me: <I can’t help it, I look at the conveyor belt with 6 items spaced out on it, tilt my head and look at her, still smiling sweetly> Oh, I couldn’t agree more…
Cue CBF, she proceeds with her transaction, and is one of those who proceeds to argue over the smallest item. That’s not $2.99! It’s $2.98!!!!11!!!!, etc, etc. I simply stand there, the whole time, not moving an inch, watching. And smiling. She kept darting glances my way, and making evil faces. I smiled more. It was amusing to me.
You KILLED it!!!
I was sitting at the bus stop, waiting to go home. Once again, I was behind an impatient asstard. He’s got a bike, and when we see the bus approaching, everyone stands up and starts gathering their stuff. Now, I keep my keys clipped to my bag, and my pepperspray is clipped to my keychain. Mr. MeFirst decided since he had a bike to secure to the front rack of the bus, he had priority, no matter what anyone else said. That being so, he picks up his bike and shoves his way towards where the front of the bus will be.
The handlebar of his bike catches my keychain, and yanks my pepperspray clean off. It bounces on the ground and lands in the street, right as the bus pulls up.
Pop!
Pffft!!!
Pepperspray death.
Thanks a lot…
Thankfully, the cloud was under the bus so no one got a face full (But I was secretly hoping it was close enough to the front that Mr. MeFirst would take a hit. I know, bad Lupo!) But now I don’t have pepperspray. Sadness.
Not too bad today, but I’ve had a raging headache most of the day. I think the Aleve is starting to kick in though, so hopefully that will end soon.
The End!!!
Who cares what it's called? 
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