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It's been such a cold, quiet winter at Local Park! The only people to come through were serious athletes and birders who cause very little fuss and no muss. But, with the return of the warm weather, the SC's are back in force.
Don't Mess with Texas
So picture this: You are driving your car down a road with three friends in it. You see a row of 2-foot-tall pylons and a big sign that says "No Vehicles". Do you:
a) Turn and park in the parking lot
b) Move the pylon and drive on in
c) Run over the pylon and drag it into the park
Most SC's I deal with answer b. This is the first time I have ever dealt with a c. Sadly, by the time I got to the entrance my regulars had chased them off. Apparently they were proffessional photographers trying to shoot without a permit in the park. (Or at least, they told one of my regulars they were pros. They were certainly photographing a half-naked woman they'd brought with them.)
The only description I got was "Four girls, one half naked, in a yellow car with Texas plates".
Now I need a new pylon.
Tiptoe through the Tulips and Steal
This is really common. I catch someone picking flowers, cutting branches off trees or digging up plants, shrubs and small trees. Whenever I confront them I am always told that they need it for their garden/home decor/ school project and that they are just weeds and no one wants them anyhow. Well, no. After all THEY want them, don't they? Not to mention the park went to some effort to re-seed the area with native plants, and they are damaging the habitat and appearance of the park.
Theivery 2: SC Bugaloo
Our park is on a spit of man made land built from construction debris. The 'beaches' are covered with bricks, rocks and all kinds of pavement. You can't take them! Seriously, that is what the place is made out of! Soon we would have no park left. I had someone tell me today, while trying to take out enough bricks to make a retaining wall for their garden that "There are enough for everybody". We've had people try to bring in wheelbarrows, even TRUCKS to get bricks for a patio, or pizza oven or whatever.
We Read the Sign but Don't Care
Our park? Internationally designated important bird area. Several sections of the park are off limits in the nesting season. (April 1 to September 30). There are big fences and signs saying this on the fences. I had to chase a family out of there today. The wife admitted they had read the sign but it was only "11 days after the cut off date so they thought they could have a look". Um no. You see those birds overhead? The ones freaking out? They are nesting right now. We are trying to protect them from people like you. Also, we are trying to do some very cool research with this colony that you are interfereing with. (It has to do with the effect of human prescence).
It's too bad I came in when I did, almost. You see, this species, when disturbed, protects itself by vomiting. And they are fish-eathers.
Closing Time
At 4:30 we lock the gates. If you happen to be in our parking lot, TOO BAD. We have six signs posted, and my boss is not gonna pay me overtime to wait too long on slowpokes. I do a final patrol, warn everyone I can find that it is closing, but if you are not there by 4:45 you are SOL. I had to wait till 5 today though. A woman was sitting in her car waiting for her husband to finish birding. Of course, SHE could not move the car, HE had the keys. Policy is I can't lock them in if they are right there. So I had to wait. Ugh.
I will say though, two months ago I locked in the nicest couple. The next morning they were waiting for me at their car and I expected an explosion. Instead they smiled, apologized for not reading the signs and thanked me for letting them out. They are regulars now, and crossing my fingers they will soon be volunteers. Wonderful people, bless them.
And my ongoing headache:
Swan Man
SM is a bit of an ongoing problem. He does not work for the park, but he thinks he does. He believes this because he comes in every damn day to feed our swans. This is illegal, and we have tried to stop him but he will not quit. He says it helps his 'mental problems'. Since he is actually feeding the swans decent quality feed, management pretty much ignores him now.
He's asked that we remove all the turtles from the pond where the swans nest, or put up a fence to keep them out.
He's asked that we remove our Carp Gate (which keeps them from destroying some very expensive reconstructed fish habitat) so the swans do not have to walk 5m accross land. Or that we give him a key to the gate so he can raise and lower it when he wants.
He follows me on emergency calls in the park and buts in, no matter how many times I tell him off. If I don't stop my car for him, he zips in front of it on his bike so I have to stop or hit him. I've told him this is dangerous, but he "trusts me" so he won't quit it. I am waiting for the day I blink at the wrong time.
He almost started a fist fight at an emergency call spouting off his mouth at two people who had witnessed an accident.
But the last one...he tried to organize an outside group to come in and wing tag our swans. We already have a bird guy who bands, but he does not do swans so this is not neccessarily bad. But he tried to organize it outside the conservation authority. And made it sound like he had the authority to the group. Just no. You need like...5 permits to wing tag a swan, it is tough and dangerous to you and the bird! They would definately have to work under the supervision of a staff memeber too.
He showed up on a Saturday afternoon and demanded I talk to my boss THAT DAY to get a permit for him to bring vehicles in for the tagging he had arranged. When I told him my boss does not work Saturdays, he wanted me to phone her at home. I did end up having to text our BBM group, at let the bosses know what was afoot. I did get permission to call the cops on the taggers if they tried to do anything with out permission.
The tagging group got smart, and called the boss during the week. They arranged to actually go in and tag. Now, SM wanted to go with them and had told them this. So, they asked the boss if they could bring him. BUT he had given the swan group an assumed name! So my boss had no idea that Mr. Cygnet was really Swan Guy. So she said no. He was pissed! Expected her to just know that that was his internet handle, not his name.
For all the trouble they only caught one of five swans to tag. Swans are elusive beasts.
On the plus side:
I talked to some awesome kids today about our collection of skulls and how we use wicked cool beetles to get the flesh off.
My summer regulars are starting to come back including Egypt Guy who chats to me about archaeology and gives me his old Egyptology books and Chatty Guy who sits at my table and chats with me about astronomy, literature and...well anything, while his wife looks at birds. Acutally, a lot of lovely seniors hang out with me. So not all bad.
Don't Mess with Texas
So picture this: You are driving your car down a road with three friends in it. You see a row of 2-foot-tall pylons and a big sign that says "No Vehicles". Do you:
a) Turn and park in the parking lot
b) Move the pylon and drive on in
c) Run over the pylon and drag it into the park
Most SC's I deal with answer b. This is the first time I have ever dealt with a c. Sadly, by the time I got to the entrance my regulars had chased them off. Apparently they were proffessional photographers trying to shoot without a permit in the park. (Or at least, they told one of my regulars they were pros. They were certainly photographing a half-naked woman they'd brought with them.)
The only description I got was "Four girls, one half naked, in a yellow car with Texas plates".
Now I need a new pylon.
Tiptoe through the Tulips and Steal
This is really common. I catch someone picking flowers, cutting branches off trees or digging up plants, shrubs and small trees. Whenever I confront them I am always told that they need it for their garden/home decor/ school project and that they are just weeds and no one wants them anyhow. Well, no. After all THEY want them, don't they? Not to mention the park went to some effort to re-seed the area with native plants, and they are damaging the habitat and appearance of the park.
Theivery 2: SC Bugaloo
Our park is on a spit of man made land built from construction debris. The 'beaches' are covered with bricks, rocks and all kinds of pavement. You can't take them! Seriously, that is what the place is made out of! Soon we would have no park left. I had someone tell me today, while trying to take out enough bricks to make a retaining wall for their garden that "There are enough for everybody". We've had people try to bring in wheelbarrows, even TRUCKS to get bricks for a patio, or pizza oven or whatever.
We Read the Sign but Don't Care
Our park? Internationally designated important bird area. Several sections of the park are off limits in the nesting season. (April 1 to September 30). There are big fences and signs saying this on the fences. I had to chase a family out of there today. The wife admitted they had read the sign but it was only "11 days after the cut off date so they thought they could have a look". Um no. You see those birds overhead? The ones freaking out? They are nesting right now. We are trying to protect them from people like you. Also, we are trying to do some very cool research with this colony that you are interfereing with. (It has to do with the effect of human prescence).
It's too bad I came in when I did, almost. You see, this species, when disturbed, protects itself by vomiting. And they are fish-eathers.
Closing Time
At 4:30 we lock the gates. If you happen to be in our parking lot, TOO BAD. We have six signs posted, and my boss is not gonna pay me overtime to wait too long on slowpokes. I do a final patrol, warn everyone I can find that it is closing, but if you are not there by 4:45 you are SOL. I had to wait till 5 today though. A woman was sitting in her car waiting for her husband to finish birding. Of course, SHE could not move the car, HE had the keys. Policy is I can't lock them in if they are right there. So I had to wait. Ugh.
I will say though, two months ago I locked in the nicest couple. The next morning they were waiting for me at their car and I expected an explosion. Instead they smiled, apologized for not reading the signs and thanked me for letting them out. They are regulars now, and crossing my fingers they will soon be volunteers. Wonderful people, bless them.
And my ongoing headache:
Swan Man
SM is a bit of an ongoing problem. He does not work for the park, but he thinks he does. He believes this because he comes in every damn day to feed our swans. This is illegal, and we have tried to stop him but he will not quit. He says it helps his 'mental problems'. Since he is actually feeding the swans decent quality feed, management pretty much ignores him now.
He's asked that we remove all the turtles from the pond where the swans nest, or put up a fence to keep them out.
He's asked that we remove our Carp Gate (which keeps them from destroying some very expensive reconstructed fish habitat) so the swans do not have to walk 5m accross land. Or that we give him a key to the gate so he can raise and lower it when he wants.
He follows me on emergency calls in the park and buts in, no matter how many times I tell him off. If I don't stop my car for him, he zips in front of it on his bike so I have to stop or hit him. I've told him this is dangerous, but he "trusts me" so he won't quit it. I am waiting for the day I blink at the wrong time.
He almost started a fist fight at an emergency call spouting off his mouth at two people who had witnessed an accident.
But the last one...he tried to organize an outside group to come in and wing tag our swans. We already have a bird guy who bands, but he does not do swans so this is not neccessarily bad. But he tried to organize it outside the conservation authority. And made it sound like he had the authority to the group. Just no. You need like...5 permits to wing tag a swan, it is tough and dangerous to you and the bird! They would definately have to work under the supervision of a staff memeber too.
He showed up on a Saturday afternoon and demanded I talk to my boss THAT DAY to get a permit for him to bring vehicles in for the tagging he had arranged. When I told him my boss does not work Saturdays, he wanted me to phone her at home. I did end up having to text our BBM group, at let the bosses know what was afoot. I did get permission to call the cops on the taggers if they tried to do anything with out permission.
The tagging group got smart, and called the boss during the week. They arranged to actually go in and tag. Now, SM wanted to go with them and had told them this. So, they asked the boss if they could bring him. BUT he had given the swan group an assumed name! So my boss had no idea that Mr. Cygnet was really Swan Guy. So she said no. He was pissed! Expected her to just know that that was his internet handle, not his name.
For all the trouble they only caught one of five swans to tag. Swans are elusive beasts.
On the plus side:
I talked to some awesome kids today about our collection of skulls and how we use wicked cool beetles to get the flesh off.
My summer regulars are starting to come back including Egypt Guy who chats to me about archaeology and gives me his old Egyptology books and Chatty Guy who sits at my table and chats with me about astronomy, literature and...well anything, while his wife looks at birds. Acutally, a lot of lovely seniors hang out with me. So not all bad.
. There's a county park in a neighboring county that for some reason had a closing time of 4:00 pm - in the summer! My sister and I went up there with some friends a couple of times to do a summer solstice ritual, not realizing (the first time) that the park closed at 4:00. We had to drive around the gate to get out (it was just a bar across the entrance, with enough room next to it to easily drive a Chevy van past). The second time, we had to call the park office to have them come let us out because they'd changed the setup at the entrance and you couldn't drive around it anymore. 
Trivia tidbit: if you damage your vehicle while driving on a closed road, your insurance doesn't cover it.
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