Get Out of the Damn Way!

[BrenDAnn]

Had someone informed me that it was Get In Everyone's Way Day today, I might have called in to work and used a vacation day! People in my damn way today included:

-random jackass in a Prius sitting at the exit of the grocery store, talking on his cell phone while a line formed behind him and me waiting to get out of the lot. It took him realizing there were at least two cars behind him, including myself, for him to actually move!

-dumbass on a bicycle who decided that when a car is coming is the perfect time to hope out into the middle of the road to ride down mainstreet. Thankfully, I was far enough back to be able to slow and avoid him.

-children crossing the street to get to the pool. Okay this one was partially my fault, but I KNOW the little girl on the bike had to have seen me coming before she hustled across the street. Her sister/friend/whatever was still waiting on the side the other girl had come from when I went by.

-old man in a pickup who wasn't looking and cut directly in front of me to get into the lot at work as I was leaving and heading toward the four-way stop heading north. Gah! He was damn lucky I was looking!!

-guy of suggestively diminutive penile size who had to rev past me in the right lane at the stop light, just to hurry to the DQ half a block away. Really dude? Get over yourself. Their overpriced junk is NOT worth that big of a rush!

I think there were more, but if not, these were certainly enough. The guy in the Prius was enough to make me angry! Seriously, people... Get out of the damn way, or don't go out at all!

[EricKei]

overpriced junk

The DQ or his ("junk"-replacement) car?

[BrenDAnn]

Hahaha! The DQ. I don't know if it's just the local one, but the food there is damn pricey. Actually, he was in a red 'my truck is big but my dick is small' pick up. I always laugh when I see those types of vehicles.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Hahaha! The DQ. I don't know if it's just the local one, but the food there is damn pricey. Actually, he was in a red 'my truck is big but my dick is small' pick up. I always laugh when I see those types of vehicles.

And he gunned the engine too!

Everyone remembers that saying of mine:

"Rev that engine louder, I can't hear how small your dick is!"

[Gerrinson]

Yeah, I missed the memo yesterday, too.

First, when trying to leave my tiny neighborhood to get on the main road, there was a woman in a black SUV that was in front of me. We get to the main road, she's not using a blinker (surprise, surprise) and lets a couple cars pass. I figured she was waiting on them to turn the same direction. They go by, then... nothing. I wait a bit, then slowly count to 10, no traffic has gone by the intersection, though the high hedges prevent me from seeing anyone coming from where I'm sitting. So, I toot my horn in case she's confused about me waiting.

I see her head snap up, she flips me off out the window, waves a cell phone at me, then screeches out into the street, and immediately slams to a halt in the breakdown lane, presumably to finish her phone call. I'm just so rude that I expected her to clear the intersection and let me pass BEFORE getting on the phone, y'know?

And then on the way home, there was an old guy, in a clearly overstuffed bike outfit, puffing along on his bike at about 15 MPH in the middle of the traffic lane. He even had a nice yellow diamond sign on the back of his bike proclaiming 'Share the Road!'. Which I try to do. But you're traveling 25 MPH under the speed limit and riding in the middle of the traffic lane when there's a perfectly empty bike lane just to the right. Fortunately, my turn was only about a mile away, but seriously? The town put in bike lanes just for folks like you and instead you'd rather stuff up traffic. Thanks, buddy.

[April]

ooooh, get in my way days. those piss me off.

Yesterday, I was driving straight through an intersection. The old couple turning left apparently didn't want to wait for me to finish traveling through, so turned in front of me. Slowly. Slowly enough that I was able to see the confused look on their faces as I laid on the horn.

Then, a guy nearly tore off my front bumper in order to get in front of me. when there was not a damned person behind me. without using a turn signal. He couldn't possibly get in behind me. He then decided that he must drive 5 under the speed limit.

The best I remember, was the day I was apparently in another woman's way.

I was driving through a flashing school zone. I was going 20, as the sign directed me to. The woman behind me is riding my ass, she can't get around because of other traffic driving the speed limit. The school zone ends, and I go up to the legal 40 miles per hour. I turn on another street, the crazy lady behind me does too. She pulls up next to me at the next stop light and is FREAKING out. Bouncing in her seat, screaming and waving her hands, yelling something about me only driving "20 fucking mph". I can't help it, I burst out laughing, which sets her off again. I end up flipping her off and going my way. At the next stop light, she is still going off, so I pretend to snap a picture of her license plate, which she notices and suddenly calms her ass down.

The best part, is she has distinctive decorations on her car, and I see her occasionally. I like to smile and wave when I do see her. She doesn't remember me, you can tell by how confused she is.

[BeeMused]

Everyone remembers that saying of mine:

"Rev that engine louder, I can't hear how small your dick is!"

The saying works in German too. Did I tell the story, don't remember...

That was last year, I was waiting to cross the street at a street light. Some idiot reved his engine, my brain to mouth filter failed and I said, instead of just thinking: Rev that engine louder, not everyone has heard how small your dick is!
I heard a stiffled laugh behind me and turned, only to see two police officers. The woman was still chuckling, the man loocked a bit miffed, but couldn't really say anything, because the woman outranked him considerably.

[Jay 2K Winger]

The saying works in German too. Did I tell the story, don't remember...

That was last year, I was waiting to cross the street at a street light. Some idiot reved his engine, my brain to mouth filter failed and I said, instead of just thinking: Rev that engine louder, not everyone has heard how small your dick is!
I heard a stiffled laugh behind me and turned, only to see two police officers. The woman was still chuckling, the man loocked a bit miffed, but couldn't really say anything, because the woman outranked him considerably.

That is awesome. My pithy little saying has gone international!

[BeeMused]

That is awesome. My pithy little saying has gone international!

A well crafted saying works in almost every language.