Crazy Mama Drama Update

[mjr]

In reference to this thread:

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...d.php?t=107407

I have another (slight) update.

I have confirmation from my sister's husband that my mother did indeed marry Prison Boy.

I asked about it last week (the three of us met up for something unrelated to this issue), and my sister's husband said, "Well, she's wearing a ring and using his name."

So I count that as confirmation.

So it's almost a year and a half until this guy gets out.

The wife and I are still talking about what sort of precautions and such we want to take, and what kind of discussion (if any) will be had with the two of them. And we're seriously hoping that my mother and Prison Boy don't try to move near where we live.

We've already decided we're going to buy several baseball bats and keep them around the house, just in case.

[Tama]

Sadly, this is not a new phenomenon...

The bats are a good idea. Definitely. What kind are they going to be? Wood? Steel?

[mjr]

Sadly, this is not a new phenomenon...

The bats are a good idea. Definitely. What kind are they going to be? Wood? Steel?

Probably metal bats. Just because they're more predominant, and easier for me to get. I'm guessing I'm probably going to need 3 or 4 of them.

Though thinking about it, I'm not entirely convinced my mother believes my sister when she (my sister) says that she doesn't want him around, and won't let her (mom) be around her (sister's) kids if he's there.

I'll tell you this: I don't know how much it costs, but if he moves down to our area (within what my wife and I call "reasonable driving distance", maybe 5-10 miles), I'm definitely going to look into security cameras, and possibly a security system for my house.

My wife is a Stay-at-home mom, and I wanna make sure there are some safeguards in place, if need be.

[Tama]

If course your mother doesn't believe it. She thinks you're drinking the koolaid this jailbird is making.

Or pruno, as the case may be.

I did a quick check on Best Buy, and it looks like you'll be spending at LEAST a couple hundred dollars.

[mjr]

I did a quick check on Best Buy, and it looks like you'll be spending at LEAST a couple hundred dollars.

Yeah, Amazon has one with 8 cameras for almost $300. To me it would be worth it to drop AT LEAST that much on a security camera setup.

Though I might need more cameras, depending on how crazy I want to get. I'm thinking two overlapping ones on the front (facing each other, basically), two on the back of my house the same way, one on the porch (maybe), and two (facing each other) on each side of my house should do it...That would be 8, possibly 9 cameras.

If need be, something like that would provide a little extra peace of mind.

Although, it would be nice if I could also find one with "night vision". I'll check around if the time comes, and see.

[dendawg]

Or pruno, as the case may be.

Wikified that for ya.

[taxguykarl]

Not a good development. Still, it sounds like you and your sister are going about this situation the right way--protect your kids. Too bad you can't acquire power of attorney over your mother's assets and legal affairs.

[mjr]

Not a good development. Still, it sounds like you and your sister are going about this situation the right way--protect your kids. Too bad you can't acquire power of attorney over your mother's assets and legal affairs.

I'm not sure I'd want PoA. My mother sometimes has a tendency to be a travel agent for guilt trips.

It's going to be bad enough as it is once Prison Boy gets out in March of 2017. That's when we think the s**t is really going to hit the fan.

[EricKei]

Perhaps one thing to consider would be seeing if a Restraining Order about him (specifically) might apply...? I ask because IANAL >_< ...tho I suspect it's an outside chance, but it could be worth researching, given the severity of the charges that landed him in prison in the first place. If it does work, it might actually hammer home the point (to Mom) that you do NOT want him anywhere near your homes/families.

If this cannot be done, consider having everyone who feels that way at least sit down together and basically write up a document, that you all sign and date, making it abundantly clear that he is not welcome in y'all's proximity...and if that means she has to stay away as well, any time she is accompanying him...? Well, it sucks to be her.

[mjr]

Perhaps one thing to consider would be seeing if a Restraining Order about him (specifically) might apply...?

I'd have to check into this. Though I think here where I live, you can't get a restraining order until after the fact. So he'd have to harass us or something first, AFAIK, before we could get a restraining order. But as you say, IANAL.

If this cannot be done, consider having everyone who feels that way at least sit down together and basically write up a document, that you all sign and date, making it abundantly clear that he is not welcome in y'all's proximity...and if that means she has to stay away as well, any time she is accompanying him...? Well, it sucks to be her.

This is a pretty good idea. I wonder how that would stand up to scrutiny, though.

[sstabeler]

I
This is a pretty good idea. I wonder how that would stand up to scrutiny, though.

it doesn't have to- this is about making your mother know you absolutely do NOT want her new husband around. (basically, the idea of the document is to attempt to prevent her turning up without telling you she's bringing her new husband)

[Sapphire Silk]

I'm not sure I'd want PoA. My mother sometimes has a tendency to be a travel agent for guilt trips.

It's going to be bad enough as it is once Prison Boy gets out in March of 2017. That's when we think the s**t is really going to hit the fan.

The whole security system thing is a waste of money. The liklihood you'll be looking at it at the right time is slim to none.

A bat is a fine idea if he comes over and you have to run him off IF he refuses to leave.

But he'll likely be out on parole, so that makes things much simpler.

When he moves in with Mom (you can't stop that), send him by certified mail a no tresspass letter spelling out he is not welcome in your home and that he will be arrested for trespassing if he shows up even once.

If he does show up and you are able to get him arrested, that's a parole violation and he can go back to prison.

It will piss Mom off. Can't be helped. She's made a dumb ass decision, and she has to pay for it.

DO NOT let this man into your house. I'd be more worried about valuables disappearing than violence.

[EricKei]

What sstableler said. It would serve both as an unequivocal message to both of them how you ALL feel, and, also, in case things end up in a court of ay kind down the line (*knocks on wood*) it's something you can show the judge that says "We told them to stay away from all of us along time ago."

As for legal scrutiny...? Well, if you know any lawyers, ask them for some...unofficial advice about how to word it. If you're paying one, yeah, have him draw it up.

[MoonCat]

The whole security system thing is a waste of money. The liklihood you'll be looking at it at the right time is slim to none.

Don't these things now have apps that allow you to view the premises from your phone or a computer at another location (like at work)? So you could check up on what's going on at home.

And even without that, if he attempts to break in, the system would alert the police, no?

But I like the idea of the no-trespass letter.

You might also want to see about replacing first floor windows (or basement windows at least) with glassblock. It's a LOT harder to gain access to a home with those, and you've got some time before this creep gets out. After all, there will be times when no one is at home.

[mjr]

Don't these things now have apps that allow you to view the premises from your phone or a computer at another location (like at work)? So you could check up on what's going on at home.

I think it depends on the system. The one I was looking at had a digital video recorder. I'm not sure my place of employment would allow me to "check in" via browser, and I don't have a SmartPhone.

And even without that, if he attempts to break in, the system would alert the police, no?

Not necessarily. Or at least I didn't read that it would. I think you have to have a security alarm for that. We currently don't.

But I like the idea of the no-trespass letter.

I'm gonna have to discuss this with my wife, sister, and sister's husband. See if they're on board with it.