Go Back   Customers Suck! > Community > Check it out!

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes

My Immortal--The Worst Fanfic EVER!!!
Old 05-01-2007, 04:04 PM
Severen13's Avatar
Severen13 Severen13 is offline
Humanity is overrated.
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 121
Default My Immortal--The Worst Fanfic EVER!!!

My Immortal, a Harry Potter fanfic that has gone down in infamy as the worst Harry Potter fic ever written, and quite possible the worst fanfic ever written, period. Published on Fanfiction.net on March 3, 2006, it has racked up an incredible 4624 reviews (as of the time of this writing), 99.9% which are flames, telling the author (a bisexual, gothic fantwat who goes by the penname of XXXbloodyrists666XXX, and whose real name appears to be Tara) to do the world a favor and drop dead. It features some of the most mind-boggling OOCness ever printed, the word 'fuck' in every other sentence, and enough chatspeak and grammar errors to make even the most laid-back English teacher take a long vacation in a padded room.

Type in "Worst Fanfic Ever" on Google and "My Immortal" comes up in the #1. I swear!

The story *snort* isn't about the beloved boy wizard Harry Potter, but a Mary Sue to end all Mary Sues named Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, a bisexual 'goffik' vampire wizard attending Hogwarts. Actually, her name is Ebony, Enoby, or Eboby depending on which keys our typing and language-challenged Mary Sue decided to hit that day. Oh, and Draco is on love with her (of course). So is Harry. Draco and Harry are now bisexual goths. Dumbledore is an idiot. Hagrid is a pedophile. Lupin and Snape are a sexual predators. Voldemort is a dunderhead. And Good Charlotte holds concerts at Hogwarts. If you don't believe me, read all the astounding 40 Chapters yourself.

Note: Chapter 39 was written by a prankster who hijacked the account.

Warning: Sum of dis chapta is xtremly scray. Viower excretion advisd.

I question my sanity every day. Sometimes it answers.

Old 05-01-2007, 04:54 PM
Plaidman's Avatar
Plaidman Plaidman is offline
Area Manager
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,131

My god. The googles. They.. they do nothing!!

Ok, I didn't read it all. I got sick after the third chapter.

Well... more of a paragraph. It seems that one chapter to this girl is a paragraph.

EDIT: I can't help but notice this: LIKES: if ur a prep or a pozr den fuk off 2 koz ur gay!!!! DISLIKES: homphobez

....If your a prep or a poser, then fuck off too cause your gay!!! . (...poor girl is so confused: )

EDIT 2: Man, I forgot I had a fanfiction on there. Two. One I don't remember the email, but here is my second one: http://www.fanfiction.net/~dracons I'm going to work on the second chapter, since I ironically found the notes for it a little bit ago, but did't know what it was for.
Military Spouse Support.
Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

Last edited by Plaidman; 05-01-2007 at 05:01 PM.

Old 05-01-2007, 05:03 PM
Cia's Avatar
Cia Cia is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Black Hills/South Dakota
Posts: 1,007

I don't think that story is written in English. It has to be written badly on purpose nobody is that stupid. I am amazed that the ffstaff didn't remove it after the first...uhm...chapter.
Figers are vicious I tell ya. They crawl up your leg and steal your belly button lint.

I'm a case study.

Old 05-01-2007, 05:09 PM
iradney's Avatar
iradney iradney is offline
Senior Stuff Do'er
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 3,381



This girl makes my arb scribblings look like Prost. Or Asimov. She made my eyeballs bleed....
The report button - not just for decoration

Old 05-01-2007, 05:57 PM
Boozy's Avatar
Boozy Boozy is offline
Driven to the drink
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,143

I got to the part with the "thingie" and the "you-know-what", nearly choked to death on my lunch, and stopped reading.

If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

Old 05-01-2007, 06:17 PM
NightAngel's Avatar
NightAngel NightAngel is offline
Hot Coffee Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Raccoon City
Posts: 2,492

No, I don't think it was wrote in English either. The author can't possibly be more than 12 years old and must be a joy to her parents every day of her life.

Who says, "I'm gettin' an orgasm"?

EDIT: How about this gem: "I put on my Invisibility coke..."
"Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it..."

So, there was a Delorian that just happened to be Dumbledore's office? Ah, Hogwarts truly IS a magical place.
"I don't want any part of your crazy cult! I'm already a member of the public library and that's good enough for me, thanks!"

~TechSmith 314
HellGate: London

Last edited by NightAngel; 05-01-2007 at 06:24 PM.

Old 05-01-2007, 07:05 PM
iradney's Avatar
iradney iradney is offline
Senior Stuff Do'er
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 3,381

Ya, she seems to do things either seductively or suicidally. How does one run suicidally? Or cut oneself with a steak? I reckon you could slap yourself quite silly with one, but it's not exactly sharp....
The report button - not just for decoration

Old 05-01-2007, 07:31 PM
Irving Patrick Freleigh's Avatar
Irving Patrick Freleigh Irving Patrick Freleigh is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 13,920

This must have been written on a cell phone.

Me, I found it funny. It's so bad you can't help but point and laugh at the author.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

Wisconsin, immoral fairyland of anarchy and excessive consumption of dairy products and alcohol--DPRK News Service

Old 05-02-2007, 10:02 AM
Sir Spaniard the 12th's Avatar
Sir Spaniard the 12th Sir Spaniard the 12th is offline
One more year to qualification
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 185

When Irv linked that to me in chat... I read the first line of the first page, and my eyes hurt.

Then, for some reason, I read on, up to chapter 17. I don't think my brain will ever forgive me. The author butchers the english language more and more, then takes that, blends it on high for a day, and pours it onto paper, I think... It's the only explanation.
3 Basic rules for ordering food.
- Order from the menu.
- If you order something that will take some time to cook, then be prepared to wait.
- Don't talk about Fight Club.

Old 05-02-2007, 10:18 AM
iradney's Avatar
iradney iradney is offline
Senior Stuff Do'er
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 3,381

<offtopic> Sir Spaniard the 12th - MUCH avatar love


Back on topic - it's like a magnet. I have to read more...I can't help it! I feel so intelligent in comparison! PLEASE, SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!
The report button - not just for decoration
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:04 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.