My Immortal--The Worst Fanfic EVER!!!

Severen13 · #1 05-01-2007, 04:04 PM

My Immortal, a Harry Potter fanfic that has gone down in infamy as the worst Harry Potter fic ever written, and quite possible the worst fanfic ever written, period. Published on Fanfiction.net on March 3, 2006, it has racked up an incredible 4624 reviews (as of the time of this writing), 99.9% which are flames, telling the author (a bisexual, gothic fantwat who goes by the penname of XXXbloodyrists666XXX, and whose real name appears to be Tara) to do the world a favor and drop dead. It features some of the most mind-boggling OOCness ever printed, the word 'fuck' in every other sentence, and enough chatspeak and grammar errors to make even the most laid-back English teacher take a long vacation in a padded room.

Type in "Worst Fanfic Ever" on Google and "My Immortal" comes up in the #1. I swear!

The story *snort* isn't about the beloved boy wizard Harry Potter, but a Mary Sue to end all Mary Sues named Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, a bisexual 'goffik' vampire wizard attending Hogwarts. Actually, her name is Ebony, Enoby, or Eboby depending on which keys our typing and language-challenged Mary Sue decided to hit that day. Oh, and Draco is on love with her (of course). So is Harry. Draco and Harry are now bisexual goths. Dumbledore is an idiot. Hagrid is a pedophile. Lupin and Snape are a sexual predators. Voldemort is a dunderhead. And Good Charlotte holds concerts at Hogwarts. If you don't believe me, read all the astounding 40 Chapters yourself.

Note: Chapter 39 was written by a prankster who hijacked the account.

Warning: Sum of dis chapta is xtremly scray. Viower excretion advisd.

Plaidman · #2 05-01-2007, 04:54 PM

My god. The googles. They.. they do nothing!!

Ok, I didn't read it all. I got sick after the third chapter.

Well... more of a paragraph. It seems that one chapter to this girl is a paragraph.

EDIT: I can't help but notice this: LIKES: if ur a prep or a pozr den fuk off 2 koz ur gay!!!! DISLIKES: homphobez

....If your a prep or a poser, then fuck off too cause your gay!!! . (...poor girl is so confused:

)

EDIT 2: Man, I forgot I had a fanfiction on there. Two. One I don't remember the email, but here is my second one: http://www.fanfiction.net/~dracons I'm going to work on the second chapter, since I ironically found the notes for it a little bit ago, but did't know what it was for.

Cia · #3 05-01-2007, 05:03 PM

I don't think that story is written in English. It has to be written badly on purpose nobody is that stupid. I am amazed that the ffstaff didn't remove it after the first...uhm...chapter.

iradney · #4 05-01-2007, 05:09 PM

Wow.

Just...
WOW

This girl makes my arb scribblings look like Prost. Or Asimov. She made my eyeballs bleed....

Boozy · #5 05-01-2007, 05:57 PM

I got to the part with the "thingie" and the "you-know-what", nearly choked to death on my lunch, and stopped reading.

NightAngel · #6 05-01-2007, 06:17 PM

No, I don't think it was wrote in English either. The author can't possibly be more than 12 years old and must be a joy to her parents every day of her life.

Who says, "I'm gettin' an orgasm"?

EDIT: How about this gem: "I put on my Invisibility coke..."
or:
"Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it..."

So, there was a Delorian that just happened to be Dumbledore's office? Ah, Hogwarts truly IS a magical place.

iradney · #7 05-01-2007, 07:05 PM

Ya, she seems to do things either seductively or suicidally. How does one run suicidally? Or cut oneself with a steak? I reckon you could slap yourself quite silly with one, but it's not exactly sharp....

Irving Patrick Freleigh · #8 05-01-2007, 07:31 PM

This must have been written on a cell phone.

Me, I found it funny. It's so bad you can't help but point and laugh at the author.

Sir Spaniard the 12th · #9 05-02-2007, 10:02 AM

When Irv linked that to me in chat... I read the first line of the first page, and my eyes hurt.

Then, for some reason, I read on, up to chapter 17. I don't think my brain will ever forgive me. The author butchers the english language more and more, then takes that, blends it on high for a day, and pours it onto paper, I think... It's the only explanation.

iradney · #10 05-02-2007, 10:18 AM

<offtopic> Sir Spaniard the 12th - MUCH avatar love

</offtopic>

Back on topic - it's like a magnet. I have to read more...I can't help it! I feel so intelligent in comparison! PLEASE, SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!