It's the PERFECT time to ask someone for a date!

[WishfulSpirit]

Ok so let me set the scene. It's about 5:40am on the train headed towards downtown. On this train, at that hour, you have two types of people: the well-groomed but slightly zombified office and retail workers whose shifts start WAYYYY too early (like me!) and the scruffy people who look like they haven't been to bed yet. I'm wearing a jacket because it's nippy out but no gloves.

So I take my seat and start reading this very forum on my phone. I'm holding my phone in my left hand (yes this is relevant) when I get asked by one of the scruffy people (male in this case) if he can take me out to dinner sometime.

Ok, first, it's 5:40 in the morning on the train dude. Even if I was interested (and scruffy all-night partiers are not exactly my type) this is hardly the most romantic time to be asking. Second, take a look at the hand holding the phone. See this double band of metal on my third finger, one band of which has a row of diamonds on it? That's called a WEDDING RING and it means I'M TAKEN.

At least he did back off when I said "sorry, I'm married" and pointed to the ring. I was about ready to pull out the pepper spray if he hadn't.

[Akasa]

Pepper spray on a train would be a BAD idea!

[WishfulSpirit]

Yes, Akasa, it would, and if I ever seriously feel threatened in an enclosed space I plan to use it as a verbal deterrant. Meaning I pull it out and say "this is mace, you are making me very uncomfortable, please leave me alone or I'll be forced to defend myself." Actually using it onboard public transit will be a last resort if my life or that of someone else is in immediate jeopardy. I might be a bit quicker on the trigger walking through the park before dawn, but that's open air and less chance of collateral damage.

[BlaqueKatt]

Yes, Akasa, it would, and if I ever seriously feel threatened in an enclosed space I plan to use it as a verbal deterrant.

check your local ordinances on the legality of that, in my previous state unless you were actively defending against a physical attack, brandishing or using pepper spray was a felony, as it falls under "weapon", it's considered the same as a knife or firearm in most locales.

[Mr Hero]

Who says the setting has to be romantic to ask someone out? Granted he was doing it wrong by asking someone with an obvious wedding ring and from what it sounds like, it was right out of the blue, without even attempting to strike up a conversation.

[WishfulSpirit]

Good point KittyKata. I will look into that. Maybe just "you're making me uncomfortable, please leave me alone" and only use the spray if someone physically comes at me. Mr. Hero, yeah that was kind of my point. Asking on the train wouldn't nessasarily be a bad idea (though asking someone with a freaking wedding ring is), but with no preamble? No nice chat to let me see we click as human beings and you don't just want in my pants? Yeah no thanks.

[cindybubbles]

Who says the setting has to be romantic to ask someone out? Granted he was doing it wrong by asking someone with an obvious wedding ring and from what it sounds like, it was right out of the blue, without even attempting to strike up a conversation.

It doesn't have to be romantic, but this setting reeks of creepiness. You just don't ask strangers out on a date out of the blue. You have to get to know them first, preferably in a safer situation, like a yoga class or the office or through a mutual friend, or even on an online dating site and go from there.

[AccountingDrone]

check your local ordinances on the legality of that, in my previous state unless you were actively defending against a physical attack, brandishing or using pepper spray was a felony, as it falls under "weapon", it's considered the same as a knife or firearm in most locales.

Hairspray. No, seriously. Hairspray in the eyes sucks ass big time. And you can claim it was an accident if you can manage to get the angles right.

Sorry, I was fixing my hair, I am headed to work ... he just managed to get caught by the overspray - I didn't realize he was *so* close....