Damn annoying prank callin kids!!

[CrazedClerk]

We've recently switched our line of business at the call center (for example think of a center that did tech support switching to sales) and since the switch I've had numerous pranks calls, notably stupid kids.

Today alone I was:

- Asked if I had any cheese (how I wished I could reply: "I've got the whole damn cow, bitch!)

- Called a stupid [derogatory term for a white person starting with a C]

- Told to F*** off three times

- Called a bitch

- Had someone tell me their name was Diamond Eisenhower (I'll give them credit for that, that's too terrible for a made up name)

- Had somone tell me their name was Bob Saget (how I wished I could reply: "Full House sucks!")

Then not today but recently I was:

- Made to listen to a pizza order after I asked for a cell phone number

- Asked for directions to India

- made to listen to numerous people who just seem to love to punch the buttons on the dial pad

- randomly screamed at several times

And I get the feeling this will continue into the future. You know just once I'd like to get a really intelligent prank call that would have me laughing for days about its cleverness, but mostly I get the same pile of stupidity every day. I know I can't stop it, but I thought I'd still take a moment to vent about these stupid kids (and yes, they are for the most part all kids, although the racial slur comment came from someone who sounded adult).

I miss my old job back at the store for the simple reason I could respond to prank callers however I liked since we had no real rules on phone etiquette and the calls were never recorded.

Oh well I guess for now I keep my dumb shit-o-meter set on "high"

[Bloodsoul]

Do you have Prince Albert in a can? ^_^

[Rolling Star]

If I answered the phone and some brat even started to do a prank, I'd hang up immediately. Little crapheads...>_>

[Crazyredhead]

I got a couple of pranksters on the phone asking for someone by the name of Brown. I finally hung up. They called back and asked me about this dude Brown, then they tell me that I owe them money for his unpaid bills. I just hung up chuckling.

[ditchdj]

Try reporting them to police. Making harassing and obscene phone calls is illegal. I'm sure these little punks will stop when they end up in the back seat of a police cruiser in handcuffs.

[CancelMyService]

I had someone call in using one of those soundboards you find online that use clips from movies or TV shows to get the person on the phone to engage in conversation and/or get mad.

Took me all of 2 attemps to ask if there was a purpose to the call and getting the exact same response back to figure out what was going on and say "I guess there isn't a purpose then" and hanging up.

[protege]

Quoth ditchdj

Try reporting them to police. Making harassing and obscene phone calls is illegal. I'm sure these little punks will stop when they end up in the back seat of a police cruiser in handcuffs.

We got a few of those when my father started teaching. Turns out some of his students were trying to harass him...and didn't think the cops over here could do anything about it--they were in a district across town.

I bet they were crapping themselves when they finally got busted. Turns out there's a function through the phone company that can trace and record calls...which were then forwarded to their police department. Oddly enough, the calls stopped after that

[CrazedClerk]

Quoth Rolling Star

If I answered the phone and some brat even started to do a prank, I'd hang up immediately. Little crapheads...>_>

How I wish I could, we're supposed to a dead air script for prank calls. The script requires us to say "I'm sorry I'm having trouble hearing you, if you need further assistance call back at 1-800 number. because I cannot hear you I'm going to disconnect this call, thanks for calling [company], have a good day."

I know, ridiculous.

I've amended it to this: "This seems to be a prank call so I'm going to disconnect now, thanks for calling [company], have a good day."

I figure that's as "to the point" as I can be while still being polite enough about it.

[evil bastard]

I work for a pizza shop. We have caller ID. Most kids are too stupid to block their numbers, and I call the parents back later.
I explain that their children being stupid does not affect the quality of the food or service they will get in the future, but tell them as one parent to another, they might want to know what their children were up to.

So one night I was running the store. It was midnight on a Saturday, and we were really slow. I was about to pre-clean the make line. Phone rings, and I get This is Howard Stern on MSNBC or whatever it was before he went to Sirius, and what do you do for a living. I look at the clock, and figure its fun time.
I will keep this cleaner then what I really said.
I tell him that I violate his sister in many different ways for beer money.
I bet the kids with the soundboard did not expect that answer, and I gotta give them props for continuing after my answer.
They keep playing thier little bits, and I reply with some really raunchy insulting stuff.
You know the stuff, just think about the Aristocrats joke. (for non Americans its about the sickest dirty joke you ever heard)
I start to insult them personally, and their ability to play sound bits that can keep up with me, and repeating some of them too often. I go on about how sad their life is to be doing this on a Saturday night. I am watching to front door in case a customer shows up for a late night carryout. Mean while my drivers are staring at me in shock hearing the things coming out of my mouth. One of them that I knew before I hired him is laughing his self silly. He has heard me do things like before, and is happy to see me verbally spew abuse of a magnitude that would make a dock worker take notes, before he runs away blushing. These kids hang up on me after about 5 minutes of my fun. I have to carefully explain to other drivers that I was dealing with a prank call, and who ever was doing this would never call corporate and complain about how they were prank calling me, and I was nasty to them. I love prank calls.

[Shabo]

Aw man, I used to get prank calls at the pet supply store I used to work at. My absolute favorite one was this:

PC (prank caller)
Me (yep)

Me: Thank you for calling (company) this is Shabo how may I help you?
PC: Yeah, hi, I bought a dog from you guys a couple weeks ago?
Me: A what?
PC: A dog.
Me: No you didn't.
PC: What?
Me: Were you maybe thinking of (local competitor that does sell dogs)?
PC: No. This is (company), right?
Me: Yes.
PC: Yeah, I bought a dog from you.
Me: No you didn't. We don't sell dogs.
PC: Alright then, I bought a cat.
Me: (starting to laugh a little) No you didn't!
PC: Why not?!
Me: Because we don't sell them either *lol*
PC: Fine. I bought a bird.
Me: Ok, so you might have bought a bird, what about it?
(at this point, PC gave the punch line, I heard drums in the background, and he hung up. To this day, I wish that I had heard what the punch line was. It had to have been good for him to keep trying the joke.)


The other prank call that I still remember was really stupid.

PC: Yeah, I have these birds and I wanted to get some food for them.
Me: Ok, what kind of birds do you have?
PC: Well, they live outside.
Me: Oh, so you need wild birdseed. If you come on down, we can...
PC: No! I can't feed them that! They attack my dogs and my horses, I don't want to make them any wilder than they are!
Me: (not in the least bit surprised at this guy's stupidity)Sir, the food won't make them wild. It's called "wild birdseed" because it's made for birds that are not tame.
PC: No, you don't understand. I can't make them any wilder! They terrorize my horses and dogs, and sometimes they even attack me!
Me: *sigh*

That call went on for about 5 more minutes, and I seriously was starting to think the guys was mentally retarded or something from the way he was talking, until I heard laughing in the background and clued in that it was just a prank. I think I ended up hanging up on him, telling him to come in if he wanted more help.

Two weeks later, I get the *same exact call*. I ended up just putting him on hold and letting it go until it disconnected. He called back, and promptly got put on hold again. He called back a third time, but didn't wait to get disconnected and hung up.

There were many many other prank calls that I got. I was fortunate enough to have cool managers that told us to hang up on them.