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Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-
( ...none of you were at the Lion's game last night where you? I tried to skirt around the crowd and got completely broadside ambushed by two girls. >< )
I Wonder Why...
SC: "Do you have any pashmina scarf's that are longer then 80 inches?"
No, because if it was longer then 80 inches, it would be pashmina rope. So unless you have a neck like a bull, you should be happy with 80. Or did you have another purpose in mind? Because I'm no expert on fabric but I can warn you up front that no matter how much you think it matches the interior of the vehicle, its not going to make a good jeep winch. You might impress all the other girls at the trailer park with your fancy city folk clothes but its not going to pull a mobile home out of a ditch.
Irony
Me: "Good evening, <company>. Can I help you?"
SC: "Not unless you're <my first name>! <click>"
…..well, actually….
I Can Corrupt Anything
Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"
I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.
Morality Rate
( This is a paramedic calling to gain access to a building for a tenant. )
Me: "Ok, do you have a cell number or anything there?"
SC: "What are you talking about cell number?"
Me: "Is there any number I can page to the resident manager for you?
SC: "Well I don't know, is there? I'm calling you. This is the emergency number I'm talking too."
Me: "No, do *you* have a phone number? That's what I'm asking."
SC: "Yeah, yeah. For emergencies after hours it says to call the number I'm talking to you right now on."
Me: "No no, do *you* have a-"
SC: "Yeah, yeah, the number of the building of the person who's in there? No, no I don't have it no. I can likely get it for ya…"
Me: "No, do-"
SC: "Yeah!@"
Me: "Do *you* have a phone number that *we* can reach you at is what I'm asking."
SC: "Oh, yeah, sure. You don't have call display?"
….and this man is a paramedic? Jesus Caramel Walnut Cups ( With 33% less salt ). I'll just bleed to death thanks. It's probably faster and less painful.
Once Again, a Professional
( This is the same company's techs again, fyi )
Me: "Alright, I think I had two cases here for you. Just one sec, let me check. Yep, I have case for you."
SC: "Ok, what do you have?"
Me: "The first one is from-"
( I give him all the info )
Me: "The seco-"
SC: "Great, thanks <click>"
It seems you have ignored, either blissfully or willingly, a very key piece of information here. You may think yourself rather clever fleeing the scene like that. However, all that's going to happen now is I'm just going to keep paging you till you call back for the second one. So while clever, you didn't really think this cunning plan all the way through, did you? Didn't think so. Now grab a pen and a piece of paper, buttflap, I've got a message for you.
Argh!
SC: "Yeah, my car's stuck in the parkade!"
Oh for crying out loud. What's wrong with you people? Go out on a limb. Take a chance for once in your life and try reading. I know these weird "sign" things and their bizarre alien markings are a complete enigma too you. But with a little help, a little effort and maybe a few reruns of Sesame Street, you too could join the ranks of people in this city that have a friggan clue and read a sign for once. I know they're out there. Do you know how I know they're out there? Because they've already left the parkade.
Linguistic Skills
Me: "Ok, what's his phone number?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "…er…ok that was a few too many numbers. What's the number again?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "Ok, so xxx-xxx-xxxx?"
SC: "Correcto!"
Don't start. I should warn you the only thing I ever learned of Spanish was "oh mi dios cuáles son usted que hace a mi perro?" which if I remember right translates to something like "Oh my God, what are you doing to my dog?!". I've yet to have an occasion to apply it to real life.
Just, No.
( Tech Support no less. )
SC: "Then I got ta thinkin'…"
Stop right there. That road leads only to failure. You are trifling with power far beyond your comprehension. You are not yet ready for all that thinking above a "damp carpet stain" level entails. With great power comes great responsibility and you are not yet ready to attempt ordering at McDonalds with any method beyond pointing at the pictures and grunting.
Day Two: Complete
( ...none of you were at the Lion's game last night where you? I tried to skirt around the crowd and got completely broadside ambushed by two girls. >< )
I Wonder Why...
SC: "Do you have any pashmina scarf's that are longer then 80 inches?"
No, because if it was longer then 80 inches, it would be pashmina rope. So unless you have a neck like a bull, you should be happy with 80. Or did you have another purpose in mind? Because I'm no expert on fabric but I can warn you up front that no matter how much you think it matches the interior of the vehicle, its not going to make a good jeep winch. You might impress all the other girls at the trailer park with your fancy city folk clothes but its not going to pull a mobile home out of a ditch.
Irony
Me: "Good evening, <company>. Can I help you?"
SC: "Not unless you're <my first name>! <click>"
…..well, actually….
I Can Corrupt Anything
Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"
I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.
Morality Rate
( This is a paramedic calling to gain access to a building for a tenant. )
Me: "Ok, do you have a cell number or anything there?"
SC: "What are you talking about cell number?"
Me: "Is there any number I can page to the resident manager for you?
SC: "Well I don't know, is there? I'm calling you. This is the emergency number I'm talking too."
Me: "No, do *you* have a phone number? That's what I'm asking."
SC: "Yeah, yeah. For emergencies after hours it says to call the number I'm talking to you right now on."
Me: "No no, do *you* have a-"
SC: "Yeah, yeah, the number of the building of the person who's in there? No, no I don't have it no. I can likely get it for ya…"
Me: "No, do-"
SC: "Yeah!@"
Me: "Do *you* have a phone number that *we* can reach you at is what I'm asking."
SC: "Oh, yeah, sure. You don't have call display?"
….and this man is a paramedic? Jesus Caramel Walnut Cups ( With 33% less salt ). I'll just bleed to death thanks. It's probably faster and less painful.
Once Again, a Professional
( This is the same company's techs again, fyi )
Me: "Alright, I think I had two cases here for you. Just one sec, let me check. Yep, I have case for you."
SC: "Ok, what do you have?"
Me: "The first one is from-"
( I give him all the info )
Me: "The seco-"
SC: "Great, thanks <click>"
It seems you have ignored, either blissfully or willingly, a very key piece of information here. You may think yourself rather clever fleeing the scene like that. However, all that's going to happen now is I'm just going to keep paging you till you call back for the second one. So while clever, you didn't really think this cunning plan all the way through, did you? Didn't think so. Now grab a pen and a piece of paper, buttflap, I've got a message for you.
Argh!
SC: "Yeah, my car's stuck in the parkade!"
Oh for crying out loud. What's wrong with you people? Go out on a limb. Take a chance for once in your life and try reading. I know these weird "sign" things and their bizarre alien markings are a complete enigma too you. But with a little help, a little effort and maybe a few reruns of Sesame Street, you too could join the ranks of people in this city that have a friggan clue and read a sign for once. I know they're out there. Do you know how I know they're out there? Because they've already left the parkade.
Linguistic Skills
Me: "Ok, what's his phone number?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "…er…ok that was a few too many numbers. What's the number again?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "Ok, so xxx-xxx-xxxx?"
SC: "Correcto!"
Don't start. I should warn you the only thing I ever learned of Spanish was "oh mi dios cuáles son usted que hace a mi perro?" which if I remember right translates to something like "Oh my God, what are you doing to my dog?!". I've yet to have an occasion to apply it to real life.
Just, No.
( Tech Support no less. )
SC: "Then I got ta thinkin'…"
Stop right there. That road leads only to failure. You are trifling with power far beyond your comprehension. You are not yet ready for all that thinking above a "damp carpet stain" level entails. With great power comes great responsibility and you are not yet ready to attempt ordering at McDonalds with any method beyond pointing at the pictures and grunting.
Day Two: Complete
...I think it fits. You seem to have an unnatural ability to keep your patience...Grace under Fire, so to speak 
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