The Corporate Lawyer and His Sleepy Brother (longish)

[HawaiianShirts]

So a couple weeks ago, I sold a Gateway laptop to a guy who had claimed he worked for a law firm and needed a work laptop. I showed him several options, and he picked the Gateway for its price. He did not purchase a service contract, stating that he knew the manufacturer's warranties were sound (he works in a law firm--he should know) and service contracts were a rip-off (which, admittedly, they can be on some products, but I've seen much value in them on laptops).

Gateway's laptops lately have been fairly good. The screen, however, is one of the thinnest I've seen. Just a little pressure on the back of it, and you can see the LCD fluid moving around from the front. I point this out to all my customers who purchase a Gateway and tell them that, while the components are good, they should either be very careful handling and transporting the computer or purchase a service contract that covers accidental damage. This guy was no exception.

He came back yesterday. He brought his laptop with him. He opened it and almost proudly showed me and my co-worker that the screen was cracked, right down the middle. He told us that he wanted a replacement. He was within the 14-day defective exchange period, but that was not a defect, which he even admitted to us. His screen was cracked because he had put the laptop into a backpack, then allowed his brother to take a nap using the backpack as a pillow.

I told him I was sure we couldn't replace it. It was not defective, nor was it in resellable condition, nor did he have any type of warranty or service contract that covered that type of damage. He insisted on speaking with a manager. So he got two managers, K (sales manager) and C (store manager).

He then climbed on his proverbial soapbox and told the managers why we were responsible for this damage. It would seem that I didn't warn him about the thin screen (I did, and I showed K and C the same thing I show my customers). Then he claimed I did not tell him that this particular computer is only good as a "coffee table laptop." It's true--I didn't warn him to not let his brother sleep on it.

He told us he was a "corporate lawyer" and knew "how these things work." He must have gotten a promotion since the last time I talked to him. Managers refused to replace the computer for the same reasons I gave him. K even pulled up the manufacturer's warranty and store policies and showed him.

From Gateway's Warranty Text: THIS LIMITED WARRANTY DOES NOT COVER AND GATEWAY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR:
• DAMAGES CAUSED BY MISUSE, ABUSE, ACCIDENTS, FIRE, THEFT, DISAPPEARANCE, MISPLACEMENT, POWER SURGES, VIRUSES, RECKLESS, WILLFUL, OR INTENTIONAL CONDUCT.

He had been getting rather angry, but he changed his tone when he saw this. He said, "Well, I don't expect you to just give me a new one, but I do expect you to do something about it because he (pointing to me) didn't warn me about this. I'm a corporate lawyer, and I'm putting you on notice that you should tell your customers to not sleep on their computers. Or at least put signs up about it." He kept repeating that "I'm a corporate lawyer, and i"m putting you on notice" line, almost as a mantra.

C, silent until now, finally had enough.
C: No. I'm not putting up signs warning people not to sleep on their computers. That's beyond ridiculous. I would hope my customers would be more intelligent than that. I don't care if you're a corporate lawyer, you're not OUR corporate lawyer, so what you say has no ground here. I am not replacing a computer you damaged. HawaiianShirts told you everything he needed to tell you. You may take this up with our corporate offices if you like, but the bottom line is that you damaged your computer, and you are responsible for it.

Lawyer guy interjected and tried to argue, but C wouldn't take it.
C: No, I am not replacing your computer. In fact, I am asking you to leave.
LG: I'm a corporate lawyer, and I...
C: I am asking you to leave. You can walk out on your own, or I can call the police and have them escort you out.
LG: I'm a corporate law...
C: (Pulling out his cell phone) Get out of my store, or I'll have you arrested.

After a pause, looking at C ready to dial the police, Lawyer guy finally decided to leave, but not without a classic movie villain line: "You haven't heard the last of me. I will have this resolved! I'm a corporate lawyer!" He got about halfway to the exit (computers are all the way in the back in our store) before realizing he forgot something. Clutching his last shred of dignity, he marched back, grabbed his computer off the shelf, and declared, "And I'm taking THIS with ME!"

[Dips]

"I'm a CORPORATE LAWYER!"

[under your breath] "Yeah? Well, you really suck at it."

[protege]

Ugh. What a loser. As someone who had to deal with a cracked screen, I know where you're coming from. In this instance, the person had dropped it, and damaged the screen. Needless to say, it wasn't covered. Yet, since the person was my boss' daughter, "that wasn't good enough." I had the pleasure of listening to the boring music on Compaq's 1-800 line for a good hour, before finding out that the screen wasn't covered (duh!) and would cost $750 to replace

But that's not the end of the story. Even though it was basically scrap, the boss wouldn't let me toss it. So, we still have the laptop in the office. It's been hooked up to a regular computer monitor, a 'real' keyboard and mouse. It was kept to handle our fax machine since it more-or-less works. Because of its status, I didn't even bother trying to get the network card to work. It's pretty crude, but it works. Hopefully that POS will die soon--the hard drive is failing.

[gundam40]

What a fool. Good on the manager to kick the fool out of the store. Corporate lawyer my ass :P

[lordlundar]

OH NO! A LAWYER! RUN FOR THE HILLS!
I wonder if he'll use that laptop in the courtroom for his work as opposed as evidence.

Had a customer yesterday as well citing our service plan was a ripoff and only goes to the company. DUH! It's one of the ways we make money moron! Here's the kicker, it was for an Xbox 360. I'm still seeing about a 10% replacement rate outside of the 90 day microsoft warranty. And that's not factoring the accessories (I swear we've exchanced more headsets than we've sold)

One of my managers had a good point, we should have taken a photo of our high shrink return cage with the 360's in it. (at one point we had a dozen of them in there.) and show them to customers who say it's not worth it.

Hopefully that POS will die soon--the hard drive is failing.

There's always the preventative maintinace route, ie a rubber mallet.

[AforElephant]

Am I wrong or was there a time when warranties on laptops and cellphones had a clause that stated that LCD Displays and semiconductors were NOT covered by the warranty? Please correct me if I am wrong.

[batmoody]

Oh gosh
I hate people who pull that "I am <Insert important job>"
You could be God. It isn't covered!

[MadMike]

He said, "Well, I don't expect you to just give me a new one, but I do expect you to do something about it because he (pointing to me) didn't warn me about this. I'm a corporate lawyer, and I'm putting you on notice that you should tell your customers to not sleep on their computers. Or at least put signs up about it." He kept repeating that "I'm a corporate lawyer, and i"m putting you on notice" line, almost as a mantra.

Christ, first we have to tell people not to drink vinegar, now we're supposed to tell them not to sleep on their computers, what next?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"He kept repeating that "I'm a corporate lawyer, and i"m putting you on notice" line, almost as a mantra."

Or almost as a security blanket. "I'm really an unimportant little git, but since I went to school and have a title, it makes me feel all big."

Probably says that during foreplay, too. I'm sure the inflatable doll is sick of hearing it.

[Erin]

I have a laptop that I got about 3yrs ago as a present. My dad had gotten the 3yr warranty and service contract. Two months after I got it, it did a Blue Screen of Death. Took it in, they fixed the computer, no charge.

About a year ago, the battery started going bad. Took the computer into the store, they checked the battery. Confirmed it was bad and gave me the information to order a new one.

This spring, the hard drive was crashing, the monitor was dim and getting dimmer. The dvd drive wouldnt play most dvd's like it used to. I had two months left on the warranty. After the store's techs diagnosed the problems, they sent it to Compaq for repair. They replaced the hard drive, fixed whatever was wrong with the monitor (that part was worth about $800), and fixed the dvd drive. When I got it back, it was basically a new computer in the old laptop's body...and best part was, I didnt have to pay a thing to get it fixed.

I'd gotten another brand new laptop while the old one was in the shop. So when I got the old one back, my dad claimed it to use since his desktop has crashed. My new laptop (a Toshiba) is great, but it seems really fragile. Especially the monitor. I've decided to use the new laptop as my home computer, and when I start school, my trusty 3yr old Compaq will be my school computer. It may weigh 5 pounds more than the Toshiba and doesnt have a built in wifi card, but it's a good sturdy computer.

I love having warranties on my computer systems. I'm not knowledgable enough to fix them myself. And, I've had enough computers crap out on me that I know the warranties tend to pay for themselves the first time you have a big repair.

[Mr. Rude]

Extended/accidental warrnties on laptops are a pretty good thing to have...Hell, if it's out and about all the time, anything can happen to it.

[wagegoth]

I got an extended warranty and first in line coverage when I bought my Dell desktop almost 4 years ago. They've been great. Even the support people in India were knowledgeable and spoke clearly.

They helped me recover from an attack that was against some anti-spyware I had installed that completely wiped my system. We spent an hour and a half at least while I popped the case open, checked all the hardware, and then she helped me properly partition the hard drive. After that I reloaded all my software on my own, and she called me back later to make sure everything was okay. I made sure to give her a good review on the call.

When I bought the computer, they gave me the warranty at a discount (doesn't hurt to ask), and it's been worth every penny. Now I have to decide if I want to upgrade some more and extend it. I think I'll keep this desktop for the kids and as backup. We'll probably have to buy a new one in a year or so since Microsoft is doing Vista.

[ArenaBoy]

I hate how people think that having an important job will guarantee power. You want to be taken seriously respect others, saying that you're a lawyer or whatever does not work.

[skeptic53]

Probably says that during foreplay, too. I'm sure the inflatable doll is sick of hearing it.

Pbbbbbbbth!!!!

(There should be a rule that the wittier posters be required to supply cleaning cloths for the monitors of those of us who spew coffee when we read the great lines...)

[technical.angel]

Skeptic53, you must be new.

Rule #1 (at least it was, until Raps ate the rules) is that you do not eat or drink in front of your computer while reading CS.

Rule #1.5, if you disobey these rules, you're required to take pictures.

Jenni