I raised one eyebrow, in spite of the fact that we were talking on the phone. [Long]

[Mango]

We charge for our services monthly. Our customers give us a credit card number and we charge them the appropriate amount every month. This generally works well, because it eliminates the need for sending bills and crossing our fingers that customers will pay. Ah, but then there's the special cases...

I got a call escalated to me from one of the other employees. This in itself is never a good sign. Our staff are generally really good; I almost never have to take over a call.

I prepared myself. This involved taking one last look at my framed picture of Ms. Mango. I picked up the phone. "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Mango," I say.

"MANGO! Buddy, how's it goin'?!" The customer greeted me as if we were long lost friends. I had no idea who he was.

"I have no idea who you are," I said. He introduced himself. (I still had no idea who he was.)

"Hey Mango, it looks like you made a little mistake," I raised one eyebrow, in spite of the fact that we were talking on the phone. "But it's okay," he hastened to reassure me. Reassurance was not necessary, as I was not alarmed. I had my doubts that I could have made a mistake great enough to affect a customer I had never even heard of before.

I decided to humor the customer. "Oh?" I said, admitting nothing.

"Yeah, it looks like you've been double billing me by mistake. I was hoping to get a refund for the overcharges."

"If our system is spontaneously double-billing customers, by George, I'll eat my headset," I thought to myself. This made me curious enough to actually open the customer's account to look at it.

The customer was not being double billed. I voiced this, expecting to finish the call and begin preparing for my date that evening with Ms. Mango.

"Oh, see, what's happening is that my wife and I are both being charged," he tells me, giving me a vital piece of information that he apparently thought unnecessary at first.

I open the accounts belonging to the happy couple. They do indeed both have service. I cringe, not wanting to deliver the bad news. I now realize why the call had been escalated.

"It looks like you've been with us since 1997," I say. "And your wife has been a customer since...let's see, 2002. The only way for two completely separate accounts to be created is for your wife to physically fill out an application and send it to us. I can cancel one account if you like, but we haven't been double-billing you. We've been billing you for service on two completely separate accounts."

There is a short pause, while the customer thinks up an argument to this. Already knowing what the argument was going to be, and having a prepared answer, I take the quick moment I have to sneak a peek at my framed picture of Ms. Mango.

"But don't you guys check to see if two people from the same family sign up?"

Sometimes, I can predict what customers will say so accurately, it's spooky.

"It looks like you signed up with your office address and phone number, while your wife gave us your home information. Furthermore," I continue, cutting the customer off in mid-retort, "your wife used her Visa for payment, while you gave us a MasterCard. There is no way we could possibly have imagined that the two of you were related."

"Well," he advised me, "we have the same last name!"

I paused, attempting to think of a polite way to answer him. I could not think of one.

"Do you have any idea how many people in this town are named Anderson?" I ask.

Apparently he did have a general idea and was simply choosing to ignore it, as he immediately attempted another tactic.

"Well, all we need to do is get my wife a refund for her services, and we won't worry about your mistake," he says.

I am not worried about the mistake, primarily because it was not my mistake. "It was not my mistake," I say, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

"Oh," he says, sounding deflated. "So no refund then?"

I decided to be kind. I like to offer positive reinforcement when a customer finally realizes what I'm trying to tell them. "I can't refund the full amount," I say, "because it goes back five years. I do see that service was not used the past two months on your wife's account. I can refund that, but I can't go back any farther, because before that, service was used simultaneously on both accounts."

The customer wisely takes my offer and meekly wishes me a nice day. I do the same, and allow myself to bask in the victory of another battle won.

Then, I grab my coat, and rush out the door for my date with Ms. Mango!

[LifeCarnie]

Just the tone of voice that I assumed in my head for this customer made my skin itch. Some people are too.....BLAHHH for their own good.

Quoth Mango

"It looks like you signed up with your office address and phone number, while your wife gave us your home information. Furthermore," I continue, cutting the customer off in mid-retort, "your wife used her Visa for payment, while you gave us a MasterCard. There is no way we could possibly have imagined that the two of you were related."

C'mon you work in customer service, you read minds, you should have KNOWN they were related.

Quoth Mango

"
"Do you have any idea how many people in this town are named Anderson?" I ask.

But that's your companies responsiblity!! I mean you should know everyone and everything including, where they live and who they are and aren't related to.

[Crazeyal]

Actually, I think this is in the wrong place. I don't see where there is any suckiness here. It's unfortunate, STUPID and a bit funny, but the customer did the right thing. You didn't say whether the operators automatically deferred to you or he demanded it. Common sense says that it would have gotten to you no matter what.

The only objection that MIGHT be raised, is that over-friendly aggressive attitude the customer had. But so what? He's sucky for being over-familiar with you? It's a tried and tested sales and management technique. He asked for the moon, got offered a rest stop in Jersey, and wisely took the offer. Where is the suck?

If he hammered on you for hours, I'd agree with you 100%. If he did anything more than get his perspective on the situation changed, I'd call him sucky. The guy had a PROBLEM. He called to try and fix it. He didn't REALIZE the situation, and when it was made clear to him, he relented. It sounds like a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Who DOESN'T blame the other guy first?

[Saydrah]

Is it wrong that I heard all the customer's lines in a Bill Lumberg voice in my head?

"Yeaaaahhh... Mango.... I'm going to need you to go ahead and refund those charges...."

[DarthRetard]

Nah, Saydrah, I got you beat. The whole time I'm imagining Chris Kattan doing his Mango character from Saturday Night Live while on the phone.

And I have to say I agree with Crazeyal, only in that the only suck I could see with this one is trying to "sell" it as a mistake and trying to cheat the system. However, it didnt seem like he was intentionally trying to cheat the system, he just may not have realized that two same last names weren't enough to connect the dots.

It seems like really he was trying to AVOID being sucky, TBPHIMO.

[PorkChop]

Don't you just love it when customers use your name like they were best friend? If I had a choice, I wouldn't wear my name tag.

[MinimaMagistra]

Quoth Crazeyal

Actually, I think this is in the wrong place. I don't see where there is any suckiness here. It's unfortunate, STUPID and a bit funny, but the customer did the right thing.

Well, yeah, he was pretty spiffy by our standards, but we don't have a section for "mildly annoying customers". And honestly, the pushy joviality would've sent me up a wall quicker than your average belligerance. Mmmm, wish I'd have the confidence to say "I have no idea who you are". I'm bad enough at remembering people that we well could've talked before. I either bluff frantically or smile blandly until I can piece it together.

[Gawdzillers]

Quoth Mango

"Well, all we need to do is get my wife a refund for her services

Anybody else catch this?
Maybe I'm just a wizard at finding humor in details.

[Broomjockey]

Quoth Crazeyal

Actually, I think this is in the wrong place. I don't see where there is any suckiness here. It's unfortunate, STUPID and a bit funny, but the customer did the right thing. You didn't say whether the operators automatically deferred to you or he demanded it. Common sense says that it would have gotten to you no matter what.

And if you have a problem with thread placement, use the report button. It's there on Every. Single. Post.

Quoth Crazeyal

The only objection that MIGHT be raised, is that over-friendly aggressive attitude the customer had. But so what? He's sucky for being over-familiar with you? It's a tried and tested sales and management technique. He asked for the moon, got offered a rest stop in Jersey, and wisely took the offer. Where is the suck?

If he hammered on you for hours, I'd agree with you 100%. If he did anything more than get his perspective on the situation changed, I'd call him sucky. The guy had a PROBLEM. He called to try and fix it. He didn't REALIZE the situation, and when it was made clear to him, he relented. It sounds like a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Who DOESN'T blame the other guy first?

Lesse, blaming him personally, overly friendly in an attempt to be manipulative, refusing to take responsibility for the situation. Sounds sucky to me. Remember, suck comes in all flavours, and what's not necessarily sucky to you is quite sucky to someone else.

[poofy_puff]

Every time you say, "...the picture of Ms. Mango" I get an image in my head of a Mr. Potato-Head figure except with a mango in place of a spud.

DON'T DO THAT!!!