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Pop quiz from your driver's ed class! |
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01-29-2008, 05:56 PM
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Lost princess of a lost city
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 403
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Pop quiz from your driver's ed class!
You are driving an expensive SUV on a university campus five minutes before classes start. You approach a pedestrian crosswalk, about 20 yards ahead of you. On one side of the crosswalk, a group of three people are about to enter. On the other side, a group of seven people have just entered. Do you:
(A) Obey the posted "Pedestrians Have Right of Way" sign and wait patiently for your fellow students to cross
(B) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, and speed through the crosswalk like a bat out of hell, or
(C) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, speed through the crosswalk and then laugh at the pedestrians diving for cover
If you chose (B), please stop by Sylvia's office to pick up your complimentary obscene gesture. If you chose (C), please schedule an appointment for your mandatory anal penetration, this week only with extra spikes and reduced lubrication. If you chose (A), then you have failed Driver's Ed 201: How to Drive like a Shitbrained Entitlement Legacy.
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"If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton
"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein
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01-29-2008, 07:52 PM
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Psycho Dad
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 794
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What about (D) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, attempt to run over as many pedestrians as possible while laughing maniacilly. Remember 10 points for every hit.
Ok Where do I go for them Dry Spikes again.
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My Karma ran over your dogma.
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01-29-2008, 08:34 PM
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Desk Camper
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 513
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i hate ass holes.... you can wait an extra 30 seconds to get to class...
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01-29-2008, 09:00 PM
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Lost princess of a lost city
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 403
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Quote:
Quoth Cyphr
i hate ass holes.... you can wait an extra 30 seconds to get to class...
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But their mommies and daddies wouldn't have paid for this shiny new car if they couldn't use it to beat everyone else out of their way. </sarcasm>
Quote:
Quoth digilight
What about (D) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, attempt to run over as many pedestrians as possible while laughing maniacilly. Remember 10 points for every hit.
Ok Where do I go for them Dry Spikes again.
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Ooo, secret option (D)! You actually get these FREE shiny silver bracelets and an all-expenses-paid six month vacation at our local corrections facility. The mandatory anal penetration will be provided by your cellmate, Ramrod. Enjoy your stay, and please think of us for all your future law-breaking needs.
__________________
"If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton
"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein
Last edited by Sylvia727; 01-29-2008 at 09:04 PM.
Reason: multiquote
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01-29-2008, 09:50 PM
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: burning pink camo dumpster
Posts: 13,914
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You missed another option:
(E)--Slam on the gas, tires squealing, attempt to run over as many pedestrians as you can. Then throw your SUV into reverse, back up and run 'em over again! Then shift back into drive, and run 'em down again. And again.
Your reward will be daily (sometimes even twice daily) anal penetrations by cellmates Ramrod, Big Baby and Squirrel. These will be administered dry, so keep your pillow close by at all times and try not to think about that persistent itching, burning sensation. This will continue until your execution, which you will eagerly await and then welcome with open arms.
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Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
Wisconsin, immoral fairyland of anarchy and excessive consumption of dairy products and alcohol-- DPRK News Service
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01-29-2008, 09:52 PM
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Psycho Dad
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 794
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Quote:
Quoth Sylvia727
Ooo, secret option (D)! You actually get these FREE shiny silver bracelets and an all-expenses-paid six month vacation at our local corrections facility. The mandatory anal penetration will be provided by your cellmate, Ramrod. Enjoy your stay, and please think of us for all your future law-breaking needs.
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Ahh a visit to our Kara's World (sung to the music of Elmo's world)
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My Karma ran over your dogma.
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01-29-2008, 09:54 PM
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Desk Camper
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 513
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(f) slam gas and laugh until you notice of of the pedstrians is in ROTC and has access to antitank weaponry.
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01-29-2008, 11:45 PM
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Countdown to Law School
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Chambana, IL
Posts: 431
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What about option (G) Slow down allowing the people to get into the cross walk, then gun the SUV running over the pedestrians, pull a 180 break survey the scene making sure to mow down any survivors and witnesses, then finally continue on to the nearest handicapped parking spaces and take up 3 of them making sure to block in an old lady's car.
Your reward for such an epic example of asshatted, entitlement whoring, raging idiocy is an all-expenses paid vacation to our lovely new hotel. Marvel at our communal showers full of anal penetrating goodness. Behold our dining hall chock full of virality boosting vitamins. Stare in awe of our other magnificent occupants each with a body of a steroid filled gorilla but twice as tall, wide, and emotional. Prepare to drop trowel for them each and every hour for your entire stay. And all this will be your to enjoy when you chose option (G)
__________________
"Oh, by the way..." All of my HATE
Ou kata nomon = Not according to the accepted norm
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01-29-2008, 11:53 PM
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Goa'uld System Lord
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,744
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What about secret option number c? Slam on the brakes and gas at the same time so it sounds like you're gunning it, but really stopping?
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01-30-2008, 12:26 AM
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Countdown to Law School
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Chambana, IL
Posts: 431
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Quote:
Quoth Broomjockey
What about secret option number c? Slam on the brakes and gas at the same time so it sounds like you're gunning it, but really stopping?
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Scaring people but actually doing no harm? You mad man. How dare you even consider such an atrocious idea. I fling shame upon you. Much shame, indeed.
__________________
"Oh, by the way..." All of my HATE
Ou kata nomon = Not according to the accepted norm
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