One Liners From Stupid People

[Xieg]

A few things said by customers recently that struck me as so abysmally stupid that I couldn't help myself from stating the obvious in a way that makes me sound like an ass. I am an ass, but my job requires me to hide it from the customers. Anywho, on with the show.

C: The customer
M: I'll let you decide.

Placement Problem:

C: "Where is the best place to put the heating pad for the dog?"
M: "... How about under the dog?"
C: "Really?"


Is This Silent?:

The item in question is a clipper. It clips dog hair. It makes noise. The name has Whisper Quiet in it, where this problem came from.

C: "So does this make noise? If it makes noise I'll have to return it."
M: "Yes, it has moving parts, it makes some noise."
C: Snooty Voice "So Whisper Quiet means 'makes noise'?"
M: "No, Whisper Quiet means it makes no more noise than a whisper, which does make noise."


Taxes:

C: "Do you charge taxes in *state*?"
M: "No, we only charge them in Massachusetts and Nevada."
C: "What about *state*?"
M: "Well.. *state* is not Massachusetts or Nevada, so... No."


I Really Wanted to Say No:

C: "Do you take orders from people?"
M: "... Sadly yes."
C: "Great. *click*"

I noted the call "Cust called to see if we took orders. Told her yes... Wanted to say no."


This is Sickening:

For those who don't know, a puppy pad is something used to housetrain puppies. They do their duty on the pad. This one was related to be by a coworker.

C: "How do I know when to throw out a puppy pad?"
CW: "How about when the dog has done his business on it?"

All I have for now, enjoy.