A few gems from the past two weeks (long)

[solidmetalgear19]

Just like the title says.

The not so MILF

So I'm tearing tickets when these two women (bout 30-40 roughly) come through.

One of them leans in kinda close and goes

W: Are you single



Me: No, I'm actually arranged to be married "wtf:

Seriously. Not only was this woman soooo not my type, but you also have to figure. I was in diapers when she was in highschool.

Banging my girl

It's winding down at night while I'm sweeping around the lobby. I pass by these kids and our exchange goes like this.

Kids: K
Me: Want's to go home.

K: Hey man, what's up.

At this point I'm not going to bullshit him

Me: I'm tired and i want to go home.

K: You got a girlfriend?

Me: What does that have to do with anything?

K: You gonna go home and bang her?

That little pissant. Who the hell does he think he is asking a total stranger that. I mean, i don't have a girlfriend. But still.

Me: *angry tone* I don't think that's any of your business.

And i walked away.

I am not a bank you f-ing moocher

I'm walking around when I pass this preteen girl.

Girl: Can I have a dollar.

Yeah sure, okay. How abou tin exchange for your immortal soul?

Me: *quickly* No

Girl: Why?

Are you f-ing kidding me?

Me: Because I am not the first national bank of (insert theater name here).

Yes I said that.


The lights are on, I'm cleaning, get out

It's simple, if you see us in a theatre, cleaning, with the lights on, it is NOT an open invitaion to come in and sit down. Have some f-ing patience.

Yet people still do it time after time after time.

People: Can we sit down yet?

What the hell do you think. Does this picture scream "Now seating" to you? Do you want to sit in other people's garbage?

There's a little invention called a clock

Guy: What time does my movie start

Look at your ticket numb-nuts

Me: 6:40

Guy: What time is it now?



(insert time that my watch says)

With this much lack of commen sense, I'm surprised our entire species hasn't starved to death.

[ktopmil]

UGH!!! I would have reamed that adolescent numb nut. I had these kids, who are about 13-15 come through my line, keep in mind I'm in my twenties. They asked if I wanted to party later(WTF?). I quickly responded with "My shift ends waaay after your bedtimes buddy, and I have lots of homework." Also, I may be a cashier and have money in my drawer, but that doesn't mean that I can get you change. I AM NOT A BANK! YOUR HOLDING UP MY LINE! GO AWAY! I feel for you, you must deal with the worst all the time.

[Broomjockey]

Quoth solidmetalgear19

There's a little invention called a clock

Guy: What time does my movie start

Look at your ticket numb-nuts

Me: 6:40

Guy: What time is it now?



(insert time that my watch says)

This one's actually kind fun to deal with. If you do it right. And it's fairly simple. Just say "Can I see your ticket please? Uh huh... Looks like it says 6:40, so there you go! "

[Blade_Raver]

Quoth solidmetalgear19

Banging my girl

It's winding down at night while I'm sweeping around the lobby. I pass by these kids and our exchange goes like this.

Kids: K
Me: Want's to go home.
K: Hey man, what's up.
At this point I'm not going to bullshit him
Me: I'm tired and i want to go home.
K: You got a girlfriend?
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
K: You gonna go home and bang her?
Me: *angry tone* I don't think that's any of your business.
And i walked away.

Could have had fun with that one, granted the kids were at least your age.
"No, I'm gonna go bang your girlfriend instead."

Quoth solidmetalgear19

There's a little invention called a clock

Guy: What time does my movie start
Me: 6:40
Guy: What time is it now?
Me: (insert time that my watch says)

Could have had some fun with this one also...

1st question - answer "What time do you think it starts?"
2nd question - answer "Do you have a watch?"

[Becks]

I think the OP should carry Monopoly money around for people like the aforementioned pre-teen moocher.

[Toujin]

Quoth solidmetalgear19

Banging my girl

It's winding down at night while I'm sweeping around the lobby. I pass by these kids and our exchange goes like this.

Kids: K
Me: Want's to go home.

K: Hey man, what's up.

At this point I'm not going to bullshit him

Me: I'm tired and i want to go home.

K: You got a girlfriend?

Me: What does that have to do with anything?

K: You gonna go home and bang her?

That little pissant. Who the hell does he think he is asking a total stranger that. I mean, i don't have a girlfriend. But still.

Me: *angry tone* I don't think that's any of your business.

And i walked away.

Sounds like something the boys I attended highschool with would ask, many of them were incredibly immature. It was like attending class with Beavis & Butthead sometimes.