These are things that irritate me at my job. Usually I get one a day (or week if my karma is holding out). Today they all happened. Add to that I opened and I have never been known as a "morning person" so I may be a little bitter.
1. Walking across the lobby someone is pounding on our doors pre-open. Oh how I wish the doors were not glass. They ask what time we open. Even though I saw them at our box office staring at the "We open at" sign. "We open at 12:30." "The sign says you have a 1:10 [I]10,000 B.C.[I] Is that right?" Congratulations, you figured out we actually put up the wrong times to screw with you. Oh, wait no we don't. "Yes it's at 1:10."
2. Yes, it is funny, Sir, when you pretend you don't have your girlfriend's ticket and then tell me I shouldn't let her in. I have never heard that one before. No, don't mind those people behind you who would also like to enter the theatre and have all their tickets out. Please continue with your one man comedy show and ignore the look of irritation I just can't quite hide. Maybe if I tried to hide it I would have succeded.
3. We have a sign in our lobby that all orders must be placed in the auditoriums (I work in a movie theatre/brew house type place). Please totally ignore what you just read and ask me if you can place your order at the front. How did I know you read the sign? You read out loud.
These were from the same woman:
4. No, you can't push two of our tables together to seat four people. There is a reason why we have the tables spread out at a distance. Why? Narrow aisle? Darkened conditions? People walking by with hot food and/or beverages who need an unobstructive path? Connect the dots yet?
No I don't care your son and his date are running late. I find it hard to believe that in a theatre that only has 10 tickets sold you can't find four seats together at one of our long bar type tables. No, I don't care what we use to allow ten years ago. Stop living in the past.
5. Your server isn't in there? I shall go find him. Yes, all your orders have to go through a server. No, I won't go fetch you (yes they said fetch) a beer and tell your server later.
6. No, you can't push two tables together. Did your son remember to spring ahead? Wily though. Distracting me with talk of your MIA server so I wouldn't remember I told you no about the tables.
7. Yes, I know your server isn't in the theatre. Why haven't I found him? Because, I've spent the last five minutes talking to you about tables and my lack of fetching skills.
I was polite to the woman and fortunately my sarcastic comments were never verbalized. Luckily my brain to mouth filter was working overtime. She did try the uncomfortable silences whenever I told her no about the tables. Sorry for her, but I've been known to go an entire day with saying next to nothing and I can zone out when needed. I can do an uncomfortable silence standing on my head.
Repeat 4-7 two more times.
And finally every other phone call followed the all too familiar script
Cat: Thank you for calling Our theatre at Our location. How may I help you?
SC: Yeah, is this Our theatre at Our location?
And I cried a little inside every time.
On the upside, today wasn't as bad as it has been at my job. I didn't have to toss anyone out for cursing out my staff or calling them anything but their names. So I had that going for me.