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  • Oh, For Crying Out Loud...

    Again, sorry for the length, I really should just write a book or something.

    What is it about Wal-Mart that makes people crazy rude? Is the all the smiley faces rolling back the prices? Is it the myriad of ridiculously low-priced products? Or is it me, do I simply upset the masses at Wal-Mart?

    I decided to stop at my local Wal-Mart a couple of days ago to pick up some soda, as they had Diet Coke on sale. Yay me!

    And I had an interesting time while there. All of these incidents happened during a trip of about 25 minutes.

    So I am pulling down one of the parking lanes, looking for a place to park. As I am heading down the lane, I see a car coming directly towards me. Now mind you, this is not a two-way lane, but apparently this brilliant carbon-based life form (though I may be giving him a bit too much credit) thought it was. I stop my car well away from him, giving him plenty of room to go around me and trying to make sure he doesn’t hit me. He continues to drive towards me and apparently just noticing me for the first time, starts flashing his headlights and honks at me. (Mind you, I am still stopped, I haven’t moved and I drive with my lights on all the time.)

    He pulls up next to me and starts screaming at me, I am in his way and I should learn to drive…that sort of thing. As I was already a bit irritated from my drive home (people in Illinois simply cannot drive, but that’s another story), and was feeling a bit Snarky, I roll down my window and put up my hand in a stopping motion. This actually surprised him and got him to shut up. At which point I merely pointed out to him the direction all the other cars in the lane were parked and if he had bothered to open his eyes, he might have also seen the LARGE WHITE ARROW painted on the pavement right in front of me pointing in the opposite direction of his current direction of travel. I then rolled my window up and proceeding to park, ending any further argument.

    I did get a nice gift though, when I got out of my car, I looked down the aisle to see Mr. Parking-Lot-God talking to Mr. Policeman with his roof lights going.

    Thank you Karma, I owe you one.

    I then head into the store to find said on sale Diet Coke. I grab a cart (one of the last ones in the store, not THE last one, but close) and start off toward the soda aisle. I get as far as the service desk when I hear someone yelling to me:

    Me: I just want some Diet Coke. Really!
    SC: Moronic lady who thinks everyone is there to serve her

    SC: Young Man, Young Man!
    Me: (I turn around to see an older lady (like 60-ish) walking towards me, waving. Thinking I may have dropped something, I stop and turn around) Yes Ma’am? Can I help you?
    SC: (Walks up to me) Aren’t you supposed to offer ME a cart when I walk in?
    Me: () I’m sorry?
    SC: You’re supposed to offer me a cart when I walk in. That’s how you’re to greet me.
    Me: (Still ) What ARE you talking about, Ma’am?
    SC: (Now getting angry) Just do your job correctly!! I don’t have time to tell you how to do things!! (Starts to try and take the cart from me.)
    Me: (Oh hell no.) Ma’am, this is my cart. I don’t work here.
    SC: (Now indignant that I talked back to her) Yes you do, I saw you here <some random day in the past week.>
    Me: (Now very irritated, still feeling Snarky from the parking lot and taking my cart back) Ma’am! Look at me. Do I have a blue vest on? Do I have a nametag on? No, I don’t. I can assure you that I DO, INDEED, NOT WORK HERE! If you could be bothered to use the eyes that God gave you to take in your surroundings, you may have noticed that. But I am guessing that would require more brain cells then you can currently allot. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some shopping to do. (I took my cart and started to walk away.)
    SC: (Shocked, but recovering) Well, I never…where am I supposed to get a cart?!
    Me: (Turned around and pointed to the cart corral) Have you tried looking there, you know, where you saw me grab my cart?

    As I walked past the service desk, I noticed the two CSMs behind the counter trying not to laugh and smile to me.

    So I finally get to the soda aisle, get my Diet Coke and look around for a couple of other items and then head to the check out. Lines are not too bad, but I have a couple of people in front of me. No big deal.

    At this point, my cell phone rings and since I am not at the counter being checked out, I answer it. It was my SO wondering when I’d be home. I said just a few minutes as I was in the check out line at Wal-Mart. I hang up and put my phone away. Total time on phone: 30 seconds.

    The ‘lady’ in front of me decides that this is the opportune time to comment:

    Me: I have my Diet Coke, I just want to pay and go home
    SC: Thinks world revolves around her we must all pay heed to her rantings

    SC: You shouldn’t talk on your cell phone at the checkout. I think it’s really rude. You should be ashamed of yourself <rant rant rant>. (I honestly stopped listening and was just waiting for her lips to stop moving.)
    Me: (Noticing her lips have finally stopped) I really do not care what you think. Why don’t you just mind your own business?
    SC: (Shocked) Wha..huh..Wha?
    Me: (Now just irritated) I was not at the belt, and the cashier was not talking to me. It’s no concern of yours when or where I choose to answer my cell phone. So mind your own damn business and keep your small-minded opinions to yourself, thank you very much.
    SC: (Turns bright red and proceeds to ignore me) Uh!
    Me:

    I finally get to pay, get my soda and other stuff and head out the door. I managed to make it back to my car without upsetting anyone else. On my way home, I just had to start laughing at the whole ordeal…it was the single strangest trip I’ve ever had at Wal-Mart.

    I was half expecting run into Ashton Kutcher in the parking lot telling me I had been Punk’d or something. But no such luck…

    It must just be me.
    Kewl Beans!

  • #2
    I wish I could say half the stuff you said while I'm at Wal-Mart. Actually being imployeed with them stops that. Go you!
    Honey and Thorns ~ Handmade Knit and Jewelry

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    • #3
      Good job! More people should behave like you!
      "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

      Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

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      • #4
        Got 2 words for ya-FULL Moon.

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        • #5
          Quoth RedRoseSpiral View Post
          I wish I could say half the stuff you said while I'm at Wal-Mart. Actually being imployeed with them stops that. Go you!
          Not as much as you would think, but when I worked there I had two of the best jobs for freedom (cart pusher and TLE tech). It was fun being able to tell people how stupid they were and that I wasn't gonna load their gun safe onto their VW bug.

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          • #6
            This is why I hate Wally world and avoid it unless there's some massive sale on something I really really want.

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            • #7
              Exactly why I will not go to Wal-Mart unless I have my iPod.

              KaTG makes anything better.
              Well fiddle dee dee!!

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              • #8
                Quoth SugarBeef View Post
                Not as much as you would think, but when I worked there I had two of the best jobs for freedom (cart pusher and TLE tech). It was fun being able to tell people how stupid they were and that I wasn't gonna load their gun safe onto their VW bug.
                Lucky, it sucks being a sales associate sometimes. At least I can get away with silently telling them they're dumb asses. I love literally pointing out their stupidity. And a gun safe on a VW bug? Seriously? I would have loved o be there when that conversation took place.
                Honey and Thorns ~ Handmade Knit and Jewelry

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                • #9
                  scotlers, although miss manners wouldn't approve (i read an article about that), i surely do; way to put a pair of hags where they belong: outside of your business!
                  look! it's ghengis khan!
                  Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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                  • #10
                    Quoth chainedbarista View Post
                    scotlers, although miss manners wouldn't approve (i read an article about that), i surely do; way to put a pair of hags where they belong: outside of your business!
                    Well, honestly, I do try to be a bit more polite in general, but I only have a set amount of patience, and this particular visit, I was running low. I am sure even Miss Manners would have had something to say to these people.

                    While I was in line waiting to check out, when that woman started to yap at me, I thought to myself, "Push that button and see where it takes you!" I was actually thinking I was going to be a lot more "vocal" than I was.

                    Luckily, I didn't have to open a can of Whoop-Ass...
                    Kewl Beans!

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                    • #11
                      Maybe I should go to that walmart armed with a super-soaker full of Coke syrup and see how many fucksticks I can turn into huge Coke popsicles.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Bright_Star View Post
                        Got 2 words for ya-FULL Moon.
                        What, you've been mooning the customers?
                        Sometimes life is altered.
                        Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
                        Uneasy with confrontation.
                        Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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                        • #13
                          I've been in the mood for that to happen to me so I can vent some of lifes frustrations on those that deserve it but I have a small problem or 3.

                          1. I tend to tune out most noise unless I can REALLY tell it's directed at me since the total loss of hearing in 1 ear.

                          2. I'm 5'9", shaved bald, mustache and goatee 188#.

                          3. The normal look on my face is either "I'm in pain, don't mess with me." or "I'm NOT happy, don't mess with me."
                          GFY

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                          • #14
                            I always said that Wal-Mart has an IQ vacuum...I step in and feel my own IQ dropping. Around here it's the clientele.

                            I've encountered the wrong-way-in-the-parking lot morons myself. I make THEM back up.

                            As far as phone while in line...you're right. If you're not at the belt, if you're not doing your transaction yet, you're fine!
                            Know why it's called the American "Dream"? 'Cause you have to be asleep to believe it! --George Carlin

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                            • #15
                              I just thought of a fun little experiment. Find a blue vest somewhere similar to the ones they have at walmart, but make sure it's blank, so nothing on it identifies you as a potential wal-mart employee (since all the real vests are marked with logos and lettering), then go to Wal-Mart and see how many SCs you can attract and subsequently tell off.
                              "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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