Again, sorry for the length, I really should just write a book or something.
What is it about Wal-Mart that makes people crazy rude? Is the all the smiley faces rolling back the prices? Is it the myriad of ridiculously low-priced products? Or is it me, do I simply upset the masses at Wal-Mart?
I decided to stop at my local Wal-Mart a couple of days ago to pick up some soda, as they had Diet Coke on sale. Yay me!
And I had an interesting
time while there. All of these incidents happened during a trip of about 25 minutes.
So I am pulling down one of the parking lanes, looking for a place to park. As I am heading down the lane, I see a car coming directly towards me. Now mind you, this is not a two-way lane, but apparently this brilliant carbon-based life form (though I may be giving him a bit too much credit) thought it was. I stop my car well away from him, giving him plenty of room to go around me and trying to make sure he doesn’t hit me. He continues to drive towards me and apparently just noticing me for the first time, starts flashing his headlights and honks at me. (Mind you, I am still stopped, I haven’t moved and I drive with my lights on all the time.)
He pulls up next to me and starts screaming at me, I am in his way and I should learn to drive…that sort of thing. As I was already a bit irritated from my drive home (people in Illinois simply cannot drive, but that’s another story), and was feeling a bit Snarky, I roll down my window and put up my hand in a stopping motion. This actually surprised him and got him to shut up. At which point I merely pointed out to him the direction all the other cars in the lane were parked and if he had bothered to open his eyes, he might have also seen the LARGE WHITE ARROW
painted on the pavement right in front of me pointing in the opposite direction of his current direction of travel. I then rolled my window up and proceeding to park, ending any further argument.
I did get a nice gift though, when I got out of my car, I looked down the aisle to see Mr. Parking-Lot-God talking to Mr. Policeman with his roof lights going.
Thank you Karma, I owe you one.
I then head into the store to find said on sale Diet Coke. I grab a cart (one of the last ones in the store, not THE last one, but close) and start off toward the soda aisle. I get as far as the service desk when I hear someone yelling to me:
Me: I just want some Diet Coke. Really!
SC: Moronic lady who thinks everyone is there to serve her
SC: Young Man, Young Man!
Me: (I turn around to see an older lady (like 60-ish) walking towards me, waving. Thinking I may have dropped something, I stop and turn around)
Yes Ma’am? Can I help you?
SC: (Walks up to me)
Aren’t you supposed to offer ME a cart when I walk in?
) I’m sorry?
SC: You’re supposed to offer me a cart when I walk in. That’s how you’re to greet me.
) What ARE
you talking about, Ma’am?
SC: (Now getting angry)
Just do your job correctly!! I don’t have time to tell you how to do things!! (Starts to try and take the cart from me.)
Me: (Oh hell no.)
Ma’am, this is my cart. I don’t work here.
SC: (Now indignant that I talked back to her)
Yes you do, I saw you here <some random day in the past week.>
Me: (Now very irritated, still feeling Snarky from the parking lot and taking my cart back)
Ma’am! Look at me. Do I have a blue vest on? Do I have a nametag on? No, I don’t. I can assure you that I DO, INDEED, NOT WORK HERE!
If you could be bothered to use the eyes that God gave you to take in your surroundings, you may have noticed that. But I am guessing that would require more brain cells then you can currently allot. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some shopping to do. (I took my cart and started to walk away.)
SC: (Shocked, but recovering)
Well, I never…where am I supposed to get a cart?!
Me: (Turned around and pointed to the cart corral)
Have you tried looking there, you know, where you saw me grab my cart?
As I walked past the service desk, I noticed the two CSMs behind the counter trying not to laugh and smile to me.
So I finally get to the soda aisle, get my Diet Coke and look around for a couple of other items and then head to the check out. Lines are not too bad, but I have a couple of people in front of me. No big deal.
At this point, my cell phone rings and since I am not at the counter being checked out, I answer it. It was my SO wondering when I’d be home. I said just a few minutes as I was in the check out line at Wal-Mart. I hang up and put my phone away. Total time on phone: 30 seconds.
The ‘lady’ in front of me decides that this is the opportune time to comment:
Me: I have my Diet Coke, I just want to pay and go home
SC: Thinks world revolves around her we must all pay heed to her rantings
SC: You shouldn’t talk on your cell phone at the checkout. I think it’s really rude. You should be ashamed of yourself <rant rant rant>. (I honestly stopped listening and was just waiting for her lips to stop moving.)
Me: (Noticing her lips have finally stopped)
I really do not care what you think. Why don’t you just mind your own business?
Me: (Now just irritated)
I was not at the belt, and the cashier was not talking to me. It’s no concern of yours when or where I choose to answer my cell phone. So mind your own damn business and keep your small-minded opinions to yourself, thank you very much.
SC: (Turns bright red and proceeds to ignore me)
I finally get to pay, get my soda and other stuff and head out the door. I managed to make it back to my car without upsetting anyone else. On my way home, I just had to start laughing at the whole ordeal…it was the single strangest trip I’ve ever had at Wal-Mart.
I was half expecting run into Ashton Kutcher in the parking lot telling me I had been Punk’d or something. But no such luck…
It must just be me.