I'm first going to get to how much of my time this woman wasted: seven minutes. I wasn't counting, but I happened to look at the clock on my register phone when she was digging around for her credit card, then again after I had finished with her just to see how long this had actually taken.
This woman also wasn't so much sucky as she was stupid.
Oh and by the way, this is another wonderful credit card story.
Me: Do you have a driver's license on you? Your card isn't signed.
Me: Then I can't take this card.
Woman: But I just used it here!
Me: Then someone made a mistake by taking it, but I'm not accepting it without ID.
Woman: I don't have a driver's license.
Me: That's ok, neither do I. Do you have a health card (they have our picture, full name, birthday and signatures on them, and while we're normally not supposed to accept them I personally will seeing as I don't think it's fair to assume everyone has a license, and the health card has all of the same information on it anyway, minus your address)
or a passport, or even a work ID (again that's pushing it, but some work IDs, like my own, have your full name, picture and signature, so if she had one with all of that information I would have gladly accepted it)
Woman: I don't carry ID on me.
Ok, then you'll have to use another card.
Woman: But I just used this one!
Me: And now you're not.
Woman: But I JUST used it in here!
Me: Do you have your receipt from when you used it? (I was going to check to see if the CC number matched and check the employee ID number, not to get anyone in trouble, but just personally make a quiet note to them to remember to ask for ID, since sometimes we all forget.)
Me: *thinking: quelle surprise
* K well I'm not taking the card.
Woman: Well what if I show you my other card with my signature on it?
Me: I'll accept that other card for payment no problem, but I can't, and won't, accept it in place of ID.
Woman: But I want to use that card!
Me: That's fine, all I need is some ID for it.
Woman: I don't have any.
At this point I thought I would humour her a little and asked a coordinator who had just walked over to the register next to mine to help out the cashier.
His response: No ID no purchase.
Woman: What if I sign it right now?
Me: You're more than welcome to sign it, and I encourage that you do, but I still need some ID.
Woman: But the card is good.
Me: Ma'am, I know it is, but VISA will NOT let us take a card that is not signed without ID. Even with the ID you would still have to sign it in front of me. As it is this card is invalid and essentially useless because there is no signature on it.
Woman: But the signature just wiped away.
Yeah, no. This was obviously a brand new card and I looked veeeery closely to see if it could have wiped away (not that that would have changed anything) but it was obvious it had never been signed.
Me: Ma'am, I'm not taking the card without ID, so if you don't have any then I'm sorry, but your only option is to use another card or come back to purchase these when you do have ID for this card.
Woman: But I...
Me: Those are your only options.
Woman: But what if I...
Me: Only options.
Woman: So you won't take it?
Woman: Not even if I sign it?
Me: Not even if you sign it.
Woman: And my other signature on my other card won't help?
Me: I can't accept that in lieu of ID, I'm sorry.
I get the transaction voided (since I didn't ask for ID until the CC had started processing ) then re-ring it for her other card.
She signs the unsigned card and walks away.
After she left the customers who waited patiently behind her gave me a, "Is she fucking for real?" look and told me not to worry about it when I apologized. The guy even said, "Man, you're badass. You weren't taking any of her stupidity."
Now, what have we all learned?
1) Sign your damn cards. And now that she signed that one, she won't have to go through this again. By the way, you're welcome, lady.
2) Carry ID with you at all times. I don't care what excuses you have, either have the ID or suffer the consequences. If your ID is in your car YES I will make you go get it. Just ask the guy I made go to his car in a snowstorm to get his. My job is not worth your forgetfulness and I have no sympathy for you. Unless you're in some way unable to run out to your car to get the ID (pregnant, disabled, other miscellaneous reasons), then I have sympathy for you. I'm still not going to take your card without the ID, but the sympathy is there.
3) At this cash lane, my word is law. I know every policy like the back of my hand and will not hesitate to enforce them, whether you like it or not.
4) Neither you, your husband, your dog, your barking, abrasive attitude, nor your threats intimidate me. I am unbreakable and you will not win. If you go over my head to a spineless manager and they allow it you will not be served by me, as I will still refuse to bend on any policy that I know is not right. If they want to allow it then they can serve you; I will not allow it so I will not serve you.
5) I win, you lose, next please.