Two sucks from the Chinese restaurant.
I'm very proud at how quickly I've learned about our menu and our wines. Before I started working there, I knew nothing about wine. Now, while I'm no sommelier, I feel a lot more confident about recommendations. You want the Mongolian Beef and a red wine? Well, white wine goes better, but our Pinot Nior would suffice. Ginger Garlic chicken? Excellent choice, it's my favourite. Riesling would be perfect for that. And so on. I hardly expect people to be highly knowledgeable about wine(though when a true connoisseur comes in, I jump at the chance to learn more), but you'd think that if someone didn't know much, they'd trust the word of someone paid to know. Oh, we here know better than to hope someone would use logic and courtesy.
Me- chipper cheerful free for all
SL- Snotty lady who had no business using THAT attitude
SLH- Snotty lady's husband, poor fellow
O HAI can I get anyone a drink while you're browsing our menu?
SL: Well, I want wine.
Me: Alright, here's our wine list.
SL: What's good here?
Me: That pretty much depends on what you'll be eating. If you have an idea of what you're in the mood for, I'd be happy to recommend a wine to go with it.
SL: *stares at me for a moment* What's good here?
Me: Well, personally, I like the Yellowtail Shiraz. I'm on a spicy food kick, and that goes very well with our spicer dishes.
SL: I don't like Shiraz. *continues to stare at me*
Me: *starting to get nervous* How about a Riesling? It's a fairly good wine for almost any Chinese dish, and we have two different kinds to offer you.
SLH: Uh, I'll take a Tsing Tao. Can I get some Hot and Sour soup, too?
SLH: Chinese beer is just so much more refreshing when you're eating something spicy like that, eh?
Me: Yup! I'm not a beer person per se, but that is by far our most popular drink here... even more than tea!
SLH: *good natured chuckle*
SL: *little snort* I'll take the white zinfandel.
Me: Right away, ma'am. Which would you prefer?
Me: Well, we have a house and a Sutter Home white zinfandel. Which would you prefer?
SL: *SIGH* I don't want the house.
Me: Okies! I'll be right back with that!
I go, pour her wine, get his beer, hop back to their table.
Me: Here we go!
SL: You brought the wrong drink.
Me: I'm sorry? It was a Tsing Tao and a Sutter white zinfandel?
SL: Yes. Why did you bring me this?
Me: I'm sorry for any confusion, but I've brought you the Sutter Home white zinfandel... as I believe you ordered?
SL: NO. You've brought me the wrong drink. This is pink.
Now, for those who do not know, white zinfandel
is a rosé or a blush wine. It is pink. Sure, it's a bit of a misnomer, but in our wine list, it's described as a blush.
Me: Yes, white zinfandel is a blush (blah blah, pretty much what I described above)
SL: But it's called WHITE zinfandel.
Me: I understand the confusion... it seems a bit silly to call it a white, but that's because zinfandel grapes usually-
SL: You've brought the wrong wine.
I'd be happy to bring you another wine, if you prefer.
SL: Show me the bottle.
SLH: Now, honey...
Me: *walks over to the wine cooler, brings over the bottle of PINK wine*
SL: ........ I'll take the Chablis.
Me: *relieved* Certainly! One house Chablis coming up!
SL: NO NO, no house wines. I'll take a Tsing Tao, damnit.
She was fine for the rest of the meal. SLH called me over while she was in the bathroom to apologize and make sure I got my tip. *pets* Also, what's with the hatred of house wines?
Bonus: the senior waiter told me I could have the wine, cuz he was just gonna comp it out anyways. Even for Sutter Home, it made up for SL.
This couple took FOREVER to order. That is a major pet peeve of mine. My boyfriend tells me that, in my sleep, I yell at people for taking too long to order. Trufax. Of course I would never show my annoyance while working. That's below me. Off clock? I'm so here. Please also note that our menu states that all dishes printed in red are normally served "hot".
Me: the color me happy girl
NSL: Not Spicy Lady does not want her food spicy, okay?
Do you have any questions about the menu?
NSL: Well, I'd like the ginger garlic chicken.... but...
Me: I absolutely love the g g chicken here... in fact, that's what I had for lunch!
NSL: Well, why is it in red?
Me: *silent inner groan... learn to read, lady* That means that those dishes are normally served spicy. But our cooks are more than willing to make your food mild, medium, spicy, extra spicy, dancing bear!
NSL: Dancing bear?
Me: *also known as A JOKE* Oh, that's just my way of saying the cooks will prepare it any way they possibly can, no matter how unusual or difficult!
NSL: Well, I don't want it spicy.
Me: So I'll have them make it mild.
NSL: No, no, I don't want them to make it more
Okay, they can make it not spicy.
They finish their order. I always read orders back.
Me: One g g chicken, mild-
NSL: NO! Didn't you listen? I said to make it NOT SPICY!
Me: ........ okay. We can do that.
This lady spoke plain American English, and it appeared to be her first language. I have NEVER encountered a native American English speaker who did not understand the concept of "mild". If she was from a different English-speaking country or ESL, I could understand... but...