Tweet
The newspaper I work at is apparently an anomoly among businesses. That is because of the simple fact that we do not have voice mail.
Now, this isn't as insane as it initially sounds. We're THE major paper in our area and our readership spans an area with four different states. We regularly get stories pulled by the Associated Press and our photography department wins awards on what seems like a weekly basis. That being said, we are a (IMO, as a conservative libertarian, but that's a debate for another day) somewhat liberally biased paper located in the Bible belt. Not in the stories themselves so much, fortunately, but it clearly comes through on the opinion page. So naturally, we are CONSTANTLY being called and hounded and screamed at for the opinion articles.
Another fun bit is that we have at least one alleged cult (I covered my ass) in the area and they tend to respond negatively to ANYTHING we print that isn't "CURSED BE THY SINNERS DROWN THINESELVES IN BLOOD" or whatever it is they believe.
Also: Whenever the reporters write ANY kind of negative story regarding any politician (and I'm talking anything...if we mention in sentence ten of paragraph six on page 14C that the guy once jaywalked), then his/her camp goes mental and calls constantly.
And there's always the fun times of the "letters to the editor" page. This is a rant for a later day.
And then you factor in the rest of day-to-day minutae of life at the newspaper...people calling in leads, getting appointments for interviews, informing us the north end of the city is on fire, trying to convince us to write a front-page story about their son who's leaving for Iraq (now, I rabidly support the troops, lady, but your son is one of 20 people getting on that plane to go JUST FROM THIS CITY, so he's just not that special), etc. And the usual dim-witted calls of "Ummm...do you know what date America was founded?" (Yes, but I'm not telling you. Call the library or better yet, go back to school!)
All that adds up to a CRAPLOAD of calls during the day. There's about 20 reporters, clerks and secretaries in the newsroom to handle phone calls from an area of around 100,000 people. And having discussed the largest plans available with our sinkhole of a local phone company, there isn't a voicemail box they can offer us that wouldn't be full within twenty minutes. Financially, it would make no sense for us to pay for something we couldn't use when it's way cheaper and just about as effective to use a message pad.
And I am SOOOOO SICK of people acting like we are freaking dinosaurs because of it! People, we have the latest in our computer technology up here...flat screen LCD monitors, these little Mac computers that are seriously the size of a cookie tin (I think they're called micro-minis but so long as they function, I don't care what they are), broadband Internet, etc. We're not ancient!
But when people call and ask for voice mail, and I say we don't have it, it's always "WHAAAAAAAAAAT?? YOU DON'T HAVE VOICE MAIL?? HOOOOOW CAN YOU NOOOOOOT HAVE VOICE MAILLLLLLL??"
..."It's not a financially suitable purchase. Could I can take a message or have you call back?"
"Welllllllll I REALLLLLLLY need to talk to *reporter* soon and it would really help if ya'll had voice mailllllllll."
"Well, we don't have it, ma'am. Could I take a message?"
"Wellllllllll..."
...WE DON'T HAVE IT! WE AREN'T GETTING IT JUST FOR YOU! STOP YOUR *censored* WHINING AND GIVE ME A MESSAGE OR CALL BACK WHEN I TELL YOU TO CALL BACK YOU WHINING NASAL STUPID WHINING WHINING BABY!! I HAVE THREE TRIPLET COUSINS WHO ARE FOUR MONTHS OLD WHO WHINE LESS THAN YOU! STOP! SHUT UP! GIVE ME YOUR FARKING MESSAGE OR HANG THE FECK UP!! GIVE ME THE MESSAGE OR ELSE
/rage
Thank you, I feel very much better now.
Now, this isn't as insane as it initially sounds. We're THE major paper in our area and our readership spans an area with four different states. We regularly get stories pulled by the Associated Press and our photography department wins awards on what seems like a weekly basis. That being said, we are a (IMO, as a conservative libertarian, but that's a debate for another day) somewhat liberally biased paper located in the Bible belt. Not in the stories themselves so much, fortunately, but it clearly comes through on the opinion page. So naturally, we are CONSTANTLY being called and hounded and screamed at for the opinion articles.
Another fun bit is that we have at least one alleged cult (I covered my ass) in the area and they tend to respond negatively to ANYTHING we print that isn't "CURSED BE THY SINNERS DROWN THINESELVES IN BLOOD" or whatever it is they believe.
Also: Whenever the reporters write ANY kind of negative story regarding any politician (and I'm talking anything...if we mention in sentence ten of paragraph six on page 14C that the guy once jaywalked), then his/her camp goes mental and calls constantly.
And there's always the fun times of the "letters to the editor" page. This is a rant for a later day.
And then you factor in the rest of day-to-day minutae of life at the newspaper...people calling in leads, getting appointments for interviews, informing us the north end of the city is on fire, trying to convince us to write a front-page story about their son who's leaving for Iraq (now, I rabidly support the troops, lady, but your son is one of 20 people getting on that plane to go JUST FROM THIS CITY, so he's just not that special), etc. And the usual dim-witted calls of "Ummm...do you know what date America was founded?" (Yes, but I'm not telling you. Call the library or better yet, go back to school!)
All that adds up to a CRAPLOAD of calls during the day. There's about 20 reporters, clerks and secretaries in the newsroom to handle phone calls from an area of around 100,000 people. And having discussed the largest plans available with our sinkhole of a local phone company, there isn't a voicemail box they can offer us that wouldn't be full within twenty minutes. Financially, it would make no sense for us to pay for something we couldn't use when it's way cheaper and just about as effective to use a message pad.
And I am SOOOOO SICK of people acting like we are freaking dinosaurs because of it! People, we have the latest in our computer technology up here...flat screen LCD monitors, these little Mac computers that are seriously the size of a cookie tin (I think they're called micro-minis but so long as they function, I don't care what they are), broadband Internet, etc. We're not ancient!
But when people call and ask for voice mail, and I say we don't have it, it's always "WHAAAAAAAAAAT?? YOU DON'T HAVE VOICE MAIL?? HOOOOOW CAN YOU NOOOOOOT HAVE VOICE MAILLLLLLL??"
..."It's not a financially suitable purchase. Could I can take a message or have you call back?"
"Welllllllll I REALLLLLLLY need to talk to *reporter* soon and it would really help if ya'll had voice mailllllllll."
"Well, we don't have it, ma'am. Could I take a message?"
"Wellllllllll..."
...WE DON'T HAVE IT! WE AREN'T GETTING IT JUST FOR YOU! STOP YOUR *censored* WHINING AND GIVE ME A MESSAGE OR CALL BACK WHEN I TELL YOU TO CALL BACK YOU WHINING NASAL STUPID WHINING WHINING BABY!! I HAVE THREE TRIPLET COUSINS WHO ARE FOUR MONTHS OLD WHO WHINE LESS THAN YOU! STOP! SHUT UP! GIVE ME YOUR FARKING MESSAGE OR HANG THE FECK UP!! GIVE ME THE MESSAGE OR ELSE
/rage
Thank you, I feel very much better now.
Comment