How not to get a job

[CherryB]

Wednesday my city held a job fair. Over 50 employers, some of them quite large,including my employer. I volunteered and worked the fair for a couple of hours- and I thought I had seen it all. How wrong I was.

Now I realize that not everyone there was actually a job seeker, I am sure some came for somehing to do and to pick up all the free chotzke's. (after all doesn't everyone need another koosh ball?) But I assumed you were looking for a job if you stopped by our booth and tried to drop off your resume. Having said that, I was amazed at the flip flops, shorts, tank and tube tops, multiple piercings and purple hair. Did they not stop to think that recruiters were manning those booths? While we have a fairly casual dress code where I work, it still doesn't look too good to show up looking like you spent the weekend in bed with a gorilla.

Let's not forget the rude ones either. Do not give me attitude when I tell you I don't know what hourly wage you will start at. Do not give me attitude when I tell you to go online to our website and fill out an application. This is a job fair, not an interview. And for Gord's sake do not get snippy and bitchy to our head recruiter. She does hold the keys to our kingdom and can make sure your application never sees the light of day if you piss her off.

Always fun I tell ya....to see job applicants...in all their glory. My hat is off to those who were dressed nicely, were polite and thanked us. I hope they all get jobs with us.

[CrazedClerk]

Yeah I see this all the time when people drop off resumes where I work.

This phenomenon is not limited to retail level businesses, even job seekers looking for professional salaried employment can make these kinds of gaffes.

[Mark Healey]

Having said that, I was amazed at the flip flops, shorts, tank and tube tops, multiple piercings and purple hair.

While I haven't looked for a job in about 10 years I've found it to be a good strategy to do so.

I worked a number of jobs in corporate type environments and hated them all. I got these jobs playing the dress-up and have a pretty resume game. I found that in all these places people were focused on superfluities, dress, how good a politician you are, how neat your area was (even when customers would never see it) instead of what your output was. They also practiced a lot of cargo cult management.

For the first time I looked for a job before I needed one. Since I didn't need a job I decided to do an experiment. I dressed the way I would show up if I had the job and my resume was printed on plain white paper. The theory being that a company that read the resume instead of fawned over fancy paper and talked to me instead of comparing my clothes to some fashion magazine would have a relatively low portion of idiots.

Not enough data to support a firm conclusion but it seems to have worked. I've been at the same place for 10 years now.

I've decided that if you don't need a job soon, test the company. I almost wish I were looking for a job now. I'd ask for contact info for the last 10 people to leave the company. I'd love to see the response.

[Myra]

Once while I was still slaving for Claire's, a woman stomps in, her teenage daughter in tow. Daughter is dressed nicely, and the woman is not. She demands at me "are you hiring?" I respond in the positive. Woman demands to know for what position? I tell her part-time help. Woman nods and asks for an application. At this point, I'm like "What would an older lady want to work at Claire's for? And can she not dress up a little? It's not an interview, but damn!" Well I let her borrow a pen, and she fills out the application. She then throws down the pen and says "Here, sign this, honey." Apparently, daughter wanted the job, and mommy dearest filled out the application. Now, as far as I know, the daughter was mentally and physically fine. She was asking me how hard the job was when her mom was filling out the application, and if I liked piercing ears.

I left the app out, and told my manager about it, but considering my manager there was an idiot, I'm sure she tried to hire that girl. She seemed nice and all, but if you cannot fill out your own job application, and you have no developmental disabilities to keep you from it, then c'mon now. Is your mom gonna come to work and do your job for you too?

[Tria]

She seemed nice and all, but if you cannot fill out your own job application, and you have no developmental disabilities to keep you from it, then c'mon now. Is your mom gonna come to work and do your job for you too?

Well, with the way the mom acted, she was probably too scared to try to take the application from her, let alone risk getting stabbed with the pen.... Ink's poisonous mm'kay?

[Gurndigarn]

...Daughter is dressed nicely, and the woman is not... Well I let her borrow a pen, and she fills out the application. She then throws down the pen and says "Here, sign this, honey."... She was asking me how hard the job was when her mom was filling out the application, and if I liked piercing ears... She seemed nice and all, but if you cannot fill out your own job application, and you have no developmental disabilities to keep you from it, then c'mon now. Is your mom gonna come to work and do your job for you too?

It's quite possible that mom bullied her way into accompanying the daughter around AND bullied her way into doing all the gruntwork that her daughter should be doing. It sounds like the daughter, at least, had some sort of idea what a job hunt was like, even if mom didn't. And yeah, there are a few parents who would do something stupid like that.

[Tejas]

I went with my partner to a borders job fair the other day for a new store they are openng.(job fairs not the right word - they told us about the store, than split us up to play games. it was actully fun and i won a $20 gift voucher) even though i wasn't applying i went in a suit and tie. she went in buisness attire. it suprised me the amount of people that went in jeans and a T-shirt or some such combo.

i found out later on there were over 500 applicants for 20 jobs and i'll bet no jeans wears will get called back

[Gurndigarn]

I went with my partner to a borders job fair the other day for a new store they are openng.(job fairs not the right word - they told us about the store, than split us up to play games. it was actully fun and i won a $20 gift voucher) even though i wasn't applying i went in a suit and tie. she went in buisness attire. it suprised me the amount of people that went in jeans and a T-shirt or some such combo.

You wouldn't believe it. I passed the interview portion of my current job before I opened my mouth-- I showed up in a suit. I had no clue why, until I had spent time on the other side of the counter.

It was weird, though. I'm expecting questions about my background, what I can bring to the company, and so forth... and she's telling me all about the 401k program, the medical benefits, etc...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I really floors me the number of people who show up for an interview with absolutely no clue as to how to present oneself in a professional manner.

II temped briefly, after having been laid off at a lab I worked for that went under. I showed up for orientation at the temp agency in a dark suit. Hair up, professional style makeup, sensible shoes. Resumes, pens, and note-taking stuff in a briefcase. They fell all over me, and I know I started at a higher rate than many others. Why? I was one of the few people who showed up looking like I was fit to place in an office somewhere. I was a sellable product. I learned this in High School, it's not rocket science. What gives anymore with these people?

[TNT]

People never fail to amaze me.

I once took a very low-level job with one of the most conservative companies on earth. Even in my low-level position, the dress code rambled on for page after endless page... men had to wear belts, matching socks, "proper undergarments," and have zero visible piercings. The most radical thing this company did was allow men to go tieless between Memorial Day and Labor Day, but they didn't really seem to encourage it. Before actually starting the job, we all had to sit through an orientation where the whole dress code was explained in exquisite detail.

So... the first day of training, a guy shows up wearing shorts and a tank top. I'll never forget the "WTF?" look on the trainer's face. He said, "I thought the dress code just applied to the actual job, not the training." She took him to the side and he left.

Later, the trainer said to me, "I make a lot of allowances on the first day, and usually the worst I do is send someone home to change clothes. But that guy was such a special kind of stupid, I told him to go home and don't come back, ever."

[Rapscallion]

"proper undergarments,"

Who checked?

Rapscallion

[TNT]

Who checked?

Rapscallion

Darn... you had to bring that up.

One day during training, I had lunch with the 18 year old girl who sat next to me. We were talking about the dress code and she said, "You know, I'm in violation." "Why?" asked I. "I never wear panties. I find them totally uncomfortable." (she had a fascinating explanation... and then... well, let's stop this part of the story now.)

Anyway, a few days later, we had an "incident" (itself a story worth telling) that required one of the Big Bosses to come to the training room and go over "Standards in the Workplace." He was a totally pompous ass, and he made a big point out of the dress code... when he got to the "proper undergarments" part...

My seatmate looked over at me... "Should I?" she whispered.

"You'll regret it if you don't," I said.

"Excuse me," she innocently said to the Big Boss. "But, um, are you the one who checks that kind of thing or is there like a person who's hired specifically for that?"

I never saw a grown man so flustered in my life.

[Discourtesy Clerk]

...Anyway, a few days later, we had an "incident" (itself a story worth telling)...

And you're going to tell us all about this "incident" now...right?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

OMG! TNT's story is even more proof that Dilbert is non-fiction!

[Broomjockey]

I've just got to say, I think it really depends on the place you're applying to. At my theatre, all the time people show up in jeans (not faded and ripped), t-shirts, and sneakers. These people get hired, and most of them are good workers. If I was applying to anywhere with an officey environment, I'd make sure I dressed up. Mickey D's gets my good jeans and a t-shirt with a collar. They're gonna be that anal, I'm probably not gonna wanna work there.