Yeah, I know. New thread. Well, I kinda felt this deserved it's own post. It's...strange.
So, let's see. When last we left, I had been evicted and thought I'd move out monday. Ended up spending most of yesterday, and today packing the things up and moving out. All I left behind was the counter. (yes, I took that too. It wasn't attached really) and some chairs and a desk. Oh, and my safe.
I'm putting this into a timeline so it makes sense. I've thought how to write it out and, it just ends up confusing. Heck, I'm still confused.
9:00 Get roused from sleep by the phone. It's Lawyer. He says that churchlady's pastor want's to speak with me. Asks if I can be there before 10.
9:45 ish. Get to the office only to meet Lawyer, Landlord, and Pastor. Landlord isn't happy with me. He wants to know why she got arrested. Turns out, he only evicted me after finding out the charges stuck. I think he expected me to drop them. Pastor turns out to be a cool guy though. He appologizes for her. (This wasn't the same guy she had with her. I'm betting that one was her hubby) Pastor want's to know if there's anything he can do to help. I decline. I'm better off without the help.
Pastor hints there could be trouble though. Churchlady was threatening to picket the store front. Suggests that I avoid the shop today. Just to be safe.
10:00 Curiosity up, I head over that way. Get a phone call from Lawyer asking if I want him to send cops to watch me. Nah, it's just some biddys with signs (if anyone is there). What's the worst they could do?
11:00 Reach the shop. As I expected, no one is there. Head inside and take a screwdriver to the counter.
11:30 Start hearing strange sounds out front. Peek over counter to see churchlady and about six other women standing out front with picket signs. Oh fun. Consider telling them they're late, but no, I've work to do.
12:00 (around) Get the counter dissassembled, and now have to carry it out past them. They try to get in my way, but I just ignore them. The counter gets loaded when one woman blocks my path. Screams at me. Ducking about I head back inside but make sure to lock the door behind me. Somehow, I thought if I ignored, they'd go away. I was wrong.
1:00 they're gone. However, I see their cars at Burger King. Oh yeah. Lunch break. Consider heading there for mine but wish not to make a scene. I use the lull to take the safe out to the truck and then spend the next thirty minutes trying to figure out how to get the heavy thing in the back. End up leaving it there. I'll deal with it later. too heavy to steal anyway.
1:30 on the dot. Churchlady and friends return. Spot the safe. Some stare, others actually walk over and try to push it over. I enjoy the show and then ignore them. Back to cleaning.
Fifteen minutes later, ladies give up on heavy safe. Which is a shame. May have been easier on me had they knocked it over. Darn.
2:00 I'm bored. And hungry. That safe stares at me. Picking up the phone I call a friend of mine to come help. Someone outside sees this and they link arms. "You can't have us arrested" I hear one say. I think, they think I'm calling the cops. Truth be known, I'm having fun.
Friend arrives shortly there after, dressed in black. With makeup. He looks...evil. He's even got yellow contacts in. The crowd PARTS around him. This could be useful. Remind me to dress that way next time I have to face a crowd of biddies.
2:30 We head outside to manhandle in the safe. Actually manage to get one of the biddies to help since the thing is heavy. Churchlady spouts religious phrases at me and screams. She looks to be having an appolectic fit. With the safe in, it's only the last few things. Those take a few minutes to load. With buddy there, they avoid us for the most part. Just stand back and scream.
3:00 Mischief. Shop's cleaned out, and Goody's called the cops. Cops are out in force and start asking me questions. Then they turn to churchlady. After a few moments of listening the officer asks if she has a permit to demonstrate. She claims she doesn't need one. Officer asks politely for her to come. She refuses. Officer suggests that if she doesn't come, it's resisting arrest. She leaves. The crowd remains. Tenacious buggers.
3:15 Store's locked up, cleaned and i'm leaving. One biddy turns to me and asks. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" now that the ringleader is going back to jail. "Yeah." I say. "Hail Satan!" buddy and I listen to metallica VERY loudly. The ladies look to be near on heartattacks.
6:00 Sitting at home bored. Lawyer calls, trying not to laugh. Pastor wants to see me...again. (Oh lord...I screwed up.) When I get to the office, he's fit to be tied. Not mad, but laughing. It seems, I made a dent. Pastor felt the Hail Satan, while a bit over the top, was fitting. He hands me a white envelope. Inside is a check. 2500 dollars. To make up (as he puts it) for the trouble I've been through. Says that he's also going to be giving a special sermon sunday, and wants to know what I think.
Sermon will be on persecution of the innocent. Featuring the story of a poor young shopkeeper who was driven from his business by a woman who was so over zealous that she went looking for the devil; without realising that she was doing his work.
Pastor makes me laugh in the end, by asking me to come to the sermon. Only if I promise not to tell her Hail Satan.
I'm tempted. Really tempted to do it.
Things Turn...interesting. Churchlady part2.
Your friend was very badass too by the way.
I'll pass it on though.
Linear Mode
