Why me?

[Gothicsmurf]

*Mods- I think this goes here as it's not a true SC story*

When I first started my new job, I got a phone call from a woman in labor.

Yesterday I got a phone call from a woman who needed some documents. She was kind of witchy as she was on a speaker phone and I could hardly hear her. She refused to take me off speaker phone, so I had to ask her at least 3 times to repeat herself. Anyway, I finally figured out what she needed and emailed it to her.

Today I followed up by calling her and asking if she got her documents. She replied that she didn't. I confirmed her email address and asked her to call me by the end of the day if she didn't get them. Her reply was this:

"I'd rather get this done now. I'm 9 months pregnant, 4cm dialated and about ready to go into labor. This is my 4th child, so I think it's going to go pretty quick...."

Seriously? Wow. In my one month at my new job, I have talked to 2 women who were literally in labor as we spoke.

The only thing I could think of while in labor was, "Get this thing out of me NOW!" and "Don't you EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

[Evil Queen]

Funny, when my mom was in labor, she cried that she never wanted Dad to touch her again too!

[SpyOne]

Bill Cosby did a standup routine on his wife in labor.
"Don't you touch me! You're the one who got me into this!"
But the best was, "She told everyone there that my parents were never married."
(I believe that's a poetic way of saying that she called him a bastard, quite loudly, but re-told in a way that won't make your routine an adults-only show. )