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YOU SUCK! ...well, YEAH.

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  • YOU SUCK! ...well, YEAH.

    5th of July and I'm closing up shop. I have a nice group of latino kiddies asking me about the left-over fireworks (the celebration POP~! kind that shoots out confetti strings) and before I realize it it's 20 minutes after close. Kiddies check out with Mom in tow and I let them out of the locked store (Locked at 9pm on the dot to keep other people from keeping me open any longer).

    Oldest girl (about 11, I'd say): What time do you close?
    RW: I actually closed a long time time ago.
    OG: You stayed open for us? Why didn't you tell us? We'd have left sooner!
    RW: As per Corporate, I'm not allowed to tell customers to go away if they were in the store before I closed.
    OG: Man, that sucks!

    I grin and agree and she goes on her merry way. Go to tell 2nd Asst. D that everyone is gone and that I'm pulling my till. Head up to my till to find an elderly gentleman standing there with a package of clothes pins. Cue great big deer-in-the-spotlight eyeballs from me.

    RW: How did you get in here?
    ED: Uh...I was down that aisle?
    RW: Okay, can I ring ya up while I'm here?
    ED: Sure! I bet you'd like to get home right about now.

    Ring him up, let him out and bid him a good night. Lock the door. Take four steps and then I have two kids (12 and 8) beating on the door to get in.

    RW: Sorry, I'm closed.
    Older Brat: YOU SUCK!
    RW: ....I'm off the clock*, I DON'T CARE!**

    Tongues sticking out of bratty mouths ensues and I pull my till and mutter about brats wanting in after closing hours.

    *Not True
    **Act like that and it's TOTALLY true!
    Now a member of that alien race called Management.

    Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

  • #2
    Screaming at kids is my favourite passtime. At leas tthe later go-ers.... yeah, late go-ers were nice!
    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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    • #3
      Hehe. Stupid kids got owned.

      It sucks that you can't tell people to get out at closing. I would have talked to the other employee LOUDLY about how I couldn't wait to get home to dinner, which was getting cold because I wasn't home when I should be or something like that. I used that when I worked at an ice cream stand and people just kept coming when I had the lights off and everything.

      I love the "I don't care" part. I wish I could say that.
      "Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

      I belly dance with tall Goblins!

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      • #4
        Quoth RetailWorkhorse View Post
        Older Brat: YOU SUCK!
        My stock answers:

        "Yeah, and I'm told I'm VERY good at it!!!"

        and more recently...

        "Not lately..."
        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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        • #5
          Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
          My stock answers:

          "Yeah, and I'm told I'm VERY good at it!!!"

          and more recently...

          "Not lately..."
          Perhaps not an answer I could use in my day to day work... :muses:

          A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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          • #6
            Quoth crazylegs View Post
            Perhaps not an answer I could use in my day to day work...
            Well, if you're ever in NJ, I hear there's going to be an opening in the salad bar area soon...

            Ah...the things I get to say at work.
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
              My stock answers:

              "Yeah, and I'm told I'm VERY good at it!!!"

              and more recently...

              "Not lately..."
              And if you're really good at it, you just might find a big box of cookies and snack crackers left either in the kitchen or on a table in the laundry room when you finally get up the next morning to go to work.

              Of course, those boxes are liable to show up anyways just to keep Mom happy.
              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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