Amusing things Customers say.

[Kyree]

Customers are constantly mis-pronouncing the food that we have. Some of them are quite amusing

1)B.L.T. Pasta. Like the B.L.T. sandwich, but pasta. I've had customers ask for the Bolt pasta, or the "Blllt" pasta. They actually try to make BLT an actual word and say it

2) Krakuas ham. It's a polish ham that we have. I had a man come up to me a week or so ago, and ask if he could have a pound of "Crack house" ham.

3)Honey ham. I don't know what was on this elderly woman's mind, and I don't want to know. But I got asked for a half pound of Horny ham.

There's a few more, but they're no where near as amusing. How about you guys?

[computeraide]

A friend of my dad's once ordered the delicious avocado dip by asking for some of that there "gook-a-mole".

One of my favorite obscure 80s movie quotes involved someone referencing finger foods at a garden party and calling them "horse-doovers". (from "Roller Boogie")

[hotredjag]

I own a fish store, here is page one...

We keep a page on my desk top. When people say stupid things we write them down.
Here is page 1:
*Why won’t my anemone stick to the glass?
*My Anomaly (anemone) isn’t looking very good.
*From a toothless lady: “Them’s Parrot fish make me happy”
*My male betta’s bowl gets dirty real fast...does it need a mate?
*My tank stinks do you have drops to make it smell better?
*Is the numbers on the tanks, the price of the fish?
*Do these snails reproduce?
*Customer called... said he bought a light bulb the day before, worked last night, but won’t come on today.. “is it a night only bulb”?
*(Pointing to a vase of plastic scary skeleton hands) Are those real?
*Do you have piranhas without teeth?
*I got to work on me a fish tank (translation: I need to set up an aquarium).
*Customer pointing at arowanas “are dems tunas”?
*My betta seems cold.... can I stand there with a blowdryer and heat his tank??
*Do you have any juniparos?
*My dog ate my methylene blue, will it hurt him?
*What do I do, if my water gots PH?
*Ya’ll don’t have sunglasses here do ya?
*Can I bring my jelly bean parrot back to be redyed?
*Message left on answering machine : “Do you have any colostomy fishes, you know the ones who suck on the glass”?
*Same Day as above.. Lady comes in, looks at parrot fish, says “do they get bigger”? Diana says...“as big as a soft ball”.. Lady pauses... thinks... “So they just get round, not longer”?
*While talking to lady about her sick molly, I ask “Is it a male or female”? She answers “Well, it is mostly black with white spots”.
*Phone: “if I put salt in my water, do I still have to take the chlorine out”?
*Phone: “will you take my fish back,” Me:”what kind is it?” Them: “Blue”
*Do you have slower feeder fish?
*Those mollys, do they eat, like, hotdogs?
*Do you have poverty ph 7.0?
*My ornaments that I bought 3 years ago have faded.. Do you sell paint for them?
*Do them tadpoles make babies?
*Is that a Hi-Fin Hybiscus? (Pleco)
*I bought some goldfish and saw them eating on the pleco, do you know that plecos have poison skin? All my goldfish died later.

[Kitten in the box]

Here are some of mine I heard:

*Do you have any Bzzzzz Bzzzzzz sploooshhhh* --a customer that was looking for shaving cream and a razor; apparently he could not pronounce the name correctly.

*You guys sell con-dams*--asking for condoms

I was aksed if we sell Cougar to put in coffe. (cougar?? you me SUG-ar?)

[McGoddess09]

Cinniminis or Cinnawhatevers (Cinnimelts)
Par-fats (parfaits)
chip-toll (Chipotle)
late or lat-te or lat-tea (lattee)
Mo-cha [cha prounounced like the cha cha slide] ( Mocha)
Cap-u-seeno (Cappuchino)