Presenting...News On First!

[JoitheArtist]

Presenting…News On First, a parody of Who’s On First, but a fairly accurate description of my office. H/T to SteeleDragon78 for the inspiration.

(note: our projects have stupid names that our boss keeps changing.)

Bosslady: Well, let's see, we have on the schedule, News is first, What's is second, I Don't Know is third...
JtA: That's what I need to find out.
Bosslady: I say News’ up first, What's up second, I Don't Know's up third.
JTA: And you don't know what the schedule is?
Bosslady: Of course I do!
JTA: Well then what’s next?
Bosslady: No. What is up after that.
JTA: I'm not asking you about after that.
Bosslady: News is up first.
JTA: One project at a time!
Bosslady: Well, don't change the names around, it makes it hard to keep track of the projects.
JTA: I’m not changing anything!
Bosslady: Take it easy, JtA.
JTA: I'm only asking you, what’s up next?
Bosslady: No. What is second..
JTA: I'm not asking you for next week’s news.
Bosslady: News is up now, unless you want to change the schedule.
JTA: I don't know.
Bosslady: That’s up third, have you finished it yet?
JTA: Now how did I get on third?
Bosslady: You’re the one who brought it up.
JTA: Ok, fine, we’ll deal with that, what news do we have for that project?
Bosslady: No. News is what we started out with.
JTA: What's up first?
Bosslady: What's up second.
JTA: I don't know.
Bosslady: That’s coming up third.
JTA: There I go, back on third again!
PAUSE
JTA: Would you just stay on the third project and don't go off it.
Bosslady: All right, what do you want to know?
JTA: What news do we have for the third project?
Bosslady: Why do you insist on putting News as the third project?
JTA: What am I writing on the third project?
Bosslady: No. What is on second.
JTA: You don't want News on second?
Bosslady: News is on first.
JTA: Look, you some other projects?
Bosslady: Sure.
JTA: Ok, let’s look at our messaging.
Bosslady: Why.
JTA: I just thought I'd ask you.
Bosslady: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
JTA: Ok, let’s try again. Look, how about we talk about events.
Bosslady: Sure.
JTA: What’s the next event we’re planning?
Bosslady: Tomorrow.
JTA: You don't want to tell me today?
Bosslady: I'm telling you now.
JTA: Then go ahead.
Bosslady: Tomorrow!
JTA: What time?
Bosslady: What time what?
JTA: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me the news about the event?
Bosslady: Now listen. News is not the event.
JTA: I'll quit, if you say News is first! I want to know what's the Event name?
Bosslady: What's up second.
JTA: Just forget it! Ok, fine, let’s try the Store stuff.
Bosslady: Certainly.
JTA: What’s the next ad going out?
Bosslady: Today.
JTA: Today, and tomorrow's Events.
Bosslady: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
JTA: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
Bosslady: That's all you have to do.
JTA: Is write the stuff.
Bosslady: Yes!
JTA: Now who's got the information I need?
Bosslady: Naturally.
JTA: Look, if I ask for this info, somebody's gotta have it. Now which department has it?
Bosslady: Naturally.
JTA: Who?
Bosslady: Naturally.
JTA: Naturally?
Bosslady: Naturally.
JTA: So I write up the next stuff about Naturally.
Bosslady: No you don't, you write up the News.
JTA: Naturally.
Bosslady: That's different.
JTA: Argh!! I give up! I write the News. News goes out and we move to What. What is replaced by I Don't Know. I Don't Know is done and we talk about Events Tomorrow. Why? I don't know! It's up third and I don't give a damn!
Bosslady: What?
JTA: I said I don't give a damn!
Bosslady: Oh, that's next year’s theme!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That is all.

[SteeleDragon78]

joi, you owe me a new keyboard for that.

[JoitheArtist]

joi, you owe me a new keyboard for that.

Hey dude, it was your idea in the first place.

And, I must admit, a HIGHLY theraputic one, at that. I feel much more relaxed about my week now.

[SteeleDragon78]

Hey dude, it was your idea in the first place.

And, I must admit, a HIGHLY theraputic one, at that. I feel much more relaxed about my week now.

glad i could help, besides i needed a new one anyway, and work supplies them.

nice going btw, i can almost see it in my head, but i saw the animaniacs doing it in my head and i fell out of my chair