Insane, peach-obsessed customer

[dbblsanta]

A guy with a really creepy-sounding voice came into my register at the grocery store where I work with a small bag of peaches and a small bag of plums. I rang up the plums and put them back on the belt in front of him, then did the same with the peaches. The peaches, being harder, understandably made a soft thud when I put them back on the belt.

This apparantly made the customer very upset.

C: Hey! Be careful with my peaches! Don't throw them around like that. You know, just because you don't have to eat them doesn't mean you can just throw them around like that.
Me: OK, I'm sorry. It was an honest mistake.
C: *inspects peaches* (there's nothing wrong with them)

He gives me the money. Then goes on again:

C: Spent 20 minutes picking out those peaches. All the others were gross. Moldy, rotten peaches! [people had been buying peaches all day. they seemed fine to me]

Me: Okkkk (with an "end-it-now" tone).

C: Do it to someone else, and they might stab you in the back!

Me: *creeped out now, gives him receipt*

C: *proceeds to pore over the receipt for a good 60 seconds, keeping in mind this is a receipt for 2 items that cost a total of about $1.50. He gave me $2, I gave him about 50 cents in change, so exactly why he's taking so long to read it, I don't know. He moves away from the register finally; I catch him inspecting the peaches again by the window.*

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Two other quick stories:

Also today, a man asks me if I have any of the new fives (with color on it). I gladly give him one in his change. He tells me he has all the new bills with the color in them: the 100, 20, 10, and now the 5. I politely corrected him telling him the new 100s with color in them haven't been released yet (I collect coins and know a lot about American paper money, so I know for a fact that the colored 100s are not out yet and won't be until next year). I suggest he may be thinking about the 100s with the large portrait of Franklin that have been around for about 10 years now, but these don't have color.

This turned out to be a mistake as I had to listen to a 3-minute spiel about how the teller at his local credit union specifically set aside 5 of the "colored 100s" and he put them in his safety deposit box. I just smiled and nodded...


--

And last, but not least, this happened a few months ago. A middle-aged woman (these tend to be the *itchiest of customers) pays for her order with a $10 bill. I always read the denomination of bill out loud to the customer. So as always, I say "From 10." She says nothing, so I give her her change when she says "Excuse me, I gave you a 20."

Me: No, you gave me a 10, and I read the denomination of the bill to you, "from 10."
SC: No, it was a 20.
Me: Sorry, I announced to you what you gave me, you did not object to it, so you have no mode of recourse. It was a 10.
SC: Well you aren't going to even look in your drawer??
Me: Ma'am, I have 10s and 20s in my drawer, what would that prove?
SC: Whatever. *walks off*

And of course, my drawer was even that night.

[JustADude]

Quoth dbblsanta

SC: Whatever. *walks off*

*pulls lever, SC falls in the *

[mischugenah]

Quoth dbblsanta

C: Do it to someone else, and they might stab you in the back!

... backing away from the extremely creepy man with the peaches.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Get into the habit of not putting your the bill your customer gives you into the till until you've removed her change. That way, there it is sitting to the side if there's a dispute.

You can avoid a lot of scammers that way. Reading it off it a good idea, but apparently this bitch was bound and determined to scam you. Bold move, considering you actually read it off to her. But never underestimate the determination of a stupid and/or dishonest person.

The peach guy is freaking scary.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Quoth dbblsanta

I always read the denomination of bill out loud to the customer.

Whoa, I do that, too! Wicked awesome! Haven't had a scammer since I started doing that.

[AdminAssistant]

Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Millions of peaches, peaches for me

[sarahj]

Nature's candy in my hand or can, or pie...

[Imogene]

Since no one else seems to have noticed... Welcome to CS... get your jerkins, bodkins, feathered caps, and pantyhose...
Beware the pink camo.

[South Texan]

Quoth dbblsanta

I politely corrected him telling him the new 100s with color in them haven't been released yet (I collect coins and know a lot about American paper money, so I know for a fact that the colored 100s are not out yet and won't be until next year). I suggest he may be thinking about the 100s with the large portrait of Franklin that have been around for about 10 years now, but these don't have color.

This turned out to be a mistake as I had to listen to a 3-minute spiel about how the teller at his local credit union specifically set aside 5 of the "colored 100s" and he put them in his safety deposit box. I just smiled and nodded...

I had that happen several times to me before I figured out that for my sanity (and to keep them and my boss happy) it was better not to engage customers in conversations and to follow the adage of "The Customer is Always Right" when it comes to matters outside the scope of my job.

I cannot tell you how many times I have smiled and looked politely impressed at the lunacy of what some people have babbled to me. I have found that ANY verbal response is a sure fire trigger for them to tell me more.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Quoth AdminAssistant

Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Millions of peaches, peaches for me

Goin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches...


Damnit, you beat me to it.