Or maybe last two, it's been a while since I've shared anything.
Uh...We Open at 10
Sundays we have meetings to discuss the week's sales, promotions, etc. I show up quarter of nine and see a car live parked outside the store. Two women are inside. One of them rolls down the window and asks me if I can let them in to shop an hour early "because I always shop an hour before everyone else". I tell them I can't, we don't open until 10. They said they'll wait.
And they did, they stayed out there until we opened. 10 rolls around, and they....left.
I Win, You Losed.
Corporate has finally decided our 5-gallon drum policy will stay the same; store credits only. So when the Queen decides to turn in 4 barrels to get cash and I tell her we're only giving store credit, she barely gets to snap before K says "It's your choice, ma'am: take the credit, or go out those doors and have a nice day." She took the credit, but not without giving me the death glare, as if she wanted me to croak on the spot.
Thou Shalt Not....Also The Story of "Piff"
There was a lady in the store who was looking at our patio furniture and testing out the chairs. She finally decides on a set that has a sign on it with the words "Sold - P.I.F." The following ensues:
SC: I'd like to purchase this set.
Me: I'm sorry, someone else has already bought it, and we don't have any in the warehouse.
SC: She didn't take it home?
Me: The set wouldn't fit in her car, so we told her we'd hold it for her until she was able to pick it up.
SC: Then it's free game.
Me: No, it isn't.
SC: She left it behind. Finders keepers.
Me: I can't sell you this set.
SC: You can. I am the customer. You're supposed to give me what I want, and I want that set.
Me: I can't, it's already been paid for. It says so on the sign-
SC: What sign?
(Gee, I dunno. Try the two-foot one that's RIGHT ON THE TABLE.)
She finds it.
SC:It doesn't say it's been paid for! It says "Sold" and "Piff"!
Shame on me, I started cracking up.
Me: That means Paid in Full.
SC: No sir.
So I showed her. P
SC: God hates you right now. You're sinning by denying me of my wants. ( I know. Huh?)
Me: So are you.
Me Thou shalt not covet. Ring a bell?
PWNED. By a Wiccan, no less.
I'll Have Your Job!
This was a gem of a guy. He calls asking why some gated ladder he ordered hasn't arrived at his house when it was supposed to have come today. Now, unless it's being sent to our store, we really don't have much control over when it gets there. I told him the most I can do for now is go ask a manager. He says go ahead, take your time, I'm not pinning this on you.
Manager is busy, so he asks me to get the guy's name and number and he'll call him back. Guy explodes as if a half-ton of TNT had been stuck where the sun don't shine. Demands the manager, says I'm not doing my job, and don't I dare put him on hold again (yet if I have to call the manager, I kinda have to). Says he's facing a lawsuit because of children in the area, and calls me a Rican (which I'm not) because I apparently don't know how to do my job. I ask him one more time for his information and demands I tell him my name, insisting that come tomorrow he will have my job. Ricans like me shouldn't be allowed to work, he says, because they can't do anything right. I told him quite frankly I shouldn't have to share that kind of information because he refused to give me his to try and help him. He shouts it in my ear one more time for my name (R nearby jumps, since he heard the guy scream, runs off to find K) and I mutter it to him. He demands my last name, I tell him I'm not allowed to give that out, and he slams down the receiver.
For the next 20 minutes he calls back, and hangs up when I answer because he's quite through with talking to me. K is standing by my register, waiting to confront this guy after I shared my side of the story. Phone rings, and a woman is on the phone. She starts by saying she is sorry about her husband's behavior, can't believe he'd call me such a thing, and inquires about the fencing. K explains that there isn't much we can do because it isn't being sent to our store; she understands and hangs up after another five minutes of apologies.
The next day the guy storms in demanding we get him his fencing and get it now. D from corporate was visiting the store that day. Shame on him for wearing his badge, because Fencer stormed right up to him and started to complain about a Rican lady named Nashida who was very rude and wouldn't help him. he spots me, reads my badge, and starts screaming to have me fired for not doing my job.
Now I'm chummy with D and K; they say I'm one of the best they've had in a while and I'm very good at doing my job. D asks if I mentioned that the manager was busy. Fencer says I did but that it was a load of bull. K chimes in that it was not, that he was truly busy and that he himself had asked me to get contact info. He also notes that racial slurs are not tolerated here, either towards another cashier or employee, and if he doesn't knock it off, he's getting kicked out for good. He's not going to fire me for doing my job, and for the record, we don't have his fencing.
There's more, but I's tired and I open tomorrow.