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Even more tales from Textbook HELL!! (And it's LONG, too)
So I meant to post about the first day of classes yesterday, but I was way too exhausted. Rather, I'll post now, before I go in for my next shift... <Whimpers> I dun wanna!! 
Anyhoo, here goes nothing
EDIT: Hey, look! 100th post! Go me!!
Wait, I have to actually STUDY!!
Ok, in one of my last threads, I referenced incoming freshmens who were shocked that English classes required so many books, and that they actually had to READ them. Yesterday, I had this gem of a woman walk into the store and demand I show her where we kept our Cliffnotes. I politely informed her we didn't carry Cliffnotes, at which point she look appalled and demanded to know how she was supposed to pass her classes. She didn't have time to actually READ the books, she just wanted the main points, and for help writing her paper.
At this point, I'm wondering if she realizes professors often buy the cliffnotes themselves nowadays, to read through so they know what to spot when students heavily borrow from ideas not their own. That, and most profs here require students submit their papers to Turnitin.com as well, to prove it's an original work. Academic honesty is taken VERY seriously on my campus.
This woman ranted and raved at me, then told me the classic line of "See if I shop here again!!" Oh yeah, see you in two days...
Coupon Scratch offs - You SUCK!
So, we're still doing the scratch off coupons, where you bring it up to the register and SCRATCH OFF ONE SLOT AT THE REGISTER. This is the print on the card. it's not even the fine print. We acknowledge you're all morons who don't read, but it's in huge farking letters!!! Come on!! Don't expect pity if you utter the following lines:
"What's wrong if I scratched them all, they're all the same!" (This ain't the lotto, buddy, it isn't match 3 and win)
"Well, where does it say THAT?" (See those big capital letters at the top of the postcard...?
"What do you mean I can't use it now! That's stupid that it's void!" (And equally as stupid that you can't read and think rules don't apply to you. Next please!)
Law Students are still the bane of my existence
So, we now have law students coming in to return books because they don't need it/found it cheaper/bought the wrong edition. It's the latter that really piss me off because they came in and stated "YOU gave me the wrong book!" And rant about our incompetence.
No, asshole, lemme explain what happened, because it's what ALWAYS happens.
You come into the store. We greet you and ask if you need help finding anything. You say no, you can manage it. You get your books, and proceed to the registers where you bitch and moan over the prices, then leave. Upon arriving in the first class, you realize you're the moron who bought the wrong book. You then return to the store, and proceed to blame us in a valid attempt to save face, not realizing you had made such an ass of yourself last time, we REMEMBER you in all your baboonish glory. We process your refund/exchange, and laugh at you when you leave, realizing that despite the fact you're in Law School, we're ultimately going to be smarter than you because we can READ THE FUCKING TAG that states the course title and professor on it, thus we get the right books the FIRST TIME.
Thanks for shopping with us, you have a nice day now...
I think you have us confused with someplace else
This one had me seeing red.
Customer comes in. Customer wants a book for the software inside, and decides he can unwrap the book, bring up the software and purchase it alone because he doesn't like the price on the book, so he will get the book elsewhere. Who cares that it's a PACKAGE deal, he just wants the software, thus we will only sell him the software.
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but I can't sell you the software on its own.
SC: Why not?! It's all I need.
Me: Yes, sir, but it's part of a package. You have to buy the package to get the software.
SC: I'll only return the rest of it and keep the software, so you might as well sel lit to me now.
Me: We wouldn't refund you without everything being in the package, sir. You have to buy all components. You can't destroy our inventory to suit your purposes. (Yes, I was a wee bit cranky by that point, and didn't really care what I was saying)
SC: How dare you? Sell me the f*ing software!
Me: No.
SC: Give me the software b*tch!
Me: No. <Waves over the cop in our store who helps us out the first few weeks when it's really crazy. Whom I also know outside of the store, cuz he's a nice guy and his wife is the sweetest lady>
Cop: Problem here, Lupo?
SC: Yes! This b*tch won't sell me my f*ing software!
Cop: <Looks at me for an explanation>
Me: He took apart a wrapped package because he only wants the one component that isn't sold separately.
Cop: Ok, guy, out you go!
SC: What!?! <Snarlrantfoamatmouthscreamcusswhine!!>
Cop: You're harassing employees, cussing in front of children, and taking apart merchandise. Get out before I arrest you.
SC: <Flees>
Me: Thanks!
Ok, dude, I saw that BK cup in your hand, really I did. And while I'm sure it's a heady feeling, having it YOUR way, the same rules just don't apply here. Sucks to be you, right?
Oh goody, suck at even later hours! And blatant rip offery!
Corporate decided we're going to stay open 3 hours past our usual closing time. So we get more suck filled hours to deal with. And to announce this, we have postcards sent out. I finally got a look at them, and they say on the front "Open till 10 pm or later" On the back, they read "For your late night textbook cravings"
Now, not only is that something toeing the line of plagarism, but seriously, textbook cravings? Man, I can't tell you how relieved I am about that! There are some nights, I just can't go without spending $150 for some Biological goodness. My favorite is evolutionary. The complex layers are titillating and so colorful, nothing fulfills quite like it!
no. Just no.
Had a guy come in, I asked if he needed help. He asked 17,000 questions about books, sections, prices, etc. I finally asked him if he had his schedule, to make things a little easier. His response had my brain going BSOD. It literally DIED for a few seconds.
SC: Oh, I don't go to school here, yet! See, I'm going to finish my degree starting next semester but I have to shop around before I apply to a school. I have to find a store that will actually cater to me like I deserve. So many places don't know what real customer service is anymore, you know? This is your chance to prove you want me as a customer. And I have to say, while you're answering my questions, you're not exactly treating me like you value my business. YOu need to work on that.
Me
<Mumbles something about needing to take a phone call and goes to the backroom, and finds manager> Dude, gimme a high five...
MOD: Uh...why?
Me: Cuz I didn't kill anyone just now...
MOD: Er...ok... <high fives> Congratulations...I think...
Oh the (In)HUMANITY!!
I have been reduced to a new low at the store. I am Plinko Girl.
Explanation: We're running a version of Plinko at the store, like on Price is Right. Customers buying books get to play a free round, and win $5 off books, $10 off, or free tickets to an upcoming pro baseball home game. My managers decided that I, the purveyor of sarcasm abounds, death threats and general cynicism was the PERFECT candidate to wear the big ol' plink button and run the game. I am not in anyway shape or form an incarnation of little miss Mary Sunshine. I don't like people as a rule. But I had to be cheerful, smiling, happy, peppy, and personable.
Gods, my face STILL hurts from all that smiling. And people STILL bitched because I wasn't giving them more off, that I was only giving them TWO FREE ASTROS TICKETS, and that they couldn't play as many rounds as they wanted to get hundreds of dollars off books. Oh, and out of the 11 slots available for prizes there are only TWO that say sorry, or $0. And naturally, everytime those were hit, I was accused of rigging the game, told I owed them another round, and at one point, a guy snatched another plinko chip out of my hands and tried to play again...And I get to do it again today. Gods help me...please....?
Thats all I can remember for now, I'll try and update again tonight. Y'all should love this week, it's Hell on Earth for me. The SCs are out in droves, and they're taking no prisoners! Unless they're free...
Anyhoo, here goes nothingEDIT: Hey, look! 100th post! Go me!!
Wait, I have to actually STUDY!!
Ok, in one of my last threads, I referenced incoming freshmens who were shocked that English classes required so many books, and that they actually had to READ them. Yesterday, I had this gem of a woman walk into the store and demand I show her where we kept our Cliffnotes. I politely informed her we didn't carry Cliffnotes, at which point she look appalled and demanded to know how she was supposed to pass her classes. She didn't have time to actually READ the books, she just wanted the main points, and for help writing her paper.
At this point, I'm wondering if she realizes professors often buy the cliffnotes themselves nowadays, to read through so they know what to spot when students heavily borrow from ideas not their own. That, and most profs here require students submit their papers to Turnitin.com as well, to prove it's an original work. Academic honesty is taken VERY seriously on my campus.
This woman ranted and raved at me, then told me the classic line of "See if I shop here again!!" Oh yeah, see you in two days...
Coupon Scratch offs - You SUCK!
So, we're still doing the scratch off coupons, where you bring it up to the register and SCRATCH OFF ONE SLOT AT THE REGISTER. This is the print on the card. it's not even the fine print. We acknowledge you're all morons who don't read, but it's in huge farking letters!!! Come on!! Don't expect pity if you utter the following lines:
"What's wrong if I scratched them all, they're all the same!" (This ain't the lotto, buddy, it isn't match 3 and win)
"Well, where does it say THAT?" (See those big capital letters at the top of the postcard...?
"What do you mean I can't use it now! That's stupid that it's void!" (And equally as stupid that you can't read and think rules don't apply to you. Next please!)
Law Students are still the bane of my existence
So, we now have law students coming in to return books because they don't need it/found it cheaper/bought the wrong edition. It's the latter that really piss me off because they came in and stated "YOU gave me the wrong book!" And rant about our incompetence.
No, asshole, lemme explain what happened, because it's what ALWAYS happens.
You come into the store. We greet you and ask if you need help finding anything. You say no, you can manage it. You get your books, and proceed to the registers where you bitch and moan over the prices, then leave. Upon arriving in the first class, you realize you're the moron who bought the wrong book. You then return to the store, and proceed to blame us in a valid attempt to save face, not realizing you had made such an ass of yourself last time, we REMEMBER you in all your baboonish glory. We process your refund/exchange, and laugh at you when you leave, realizing that despite the fact you're in Law School, we're ultimately going to be smarter than you because we can READ THE FUCKING TAG that states the course title and professor on it, thus we get the right books the FIRST TIME.
Thanks for shopping with us, you have a nice day now...
I think you have us confused with someplace else
This one had me seeing red.
Customer comes in. Customer wants a book for the software inside, and decides he can unwrap the book, bring up the software and purchase it alone because he doesn't like the price on the book, so he will get the book elsewhere. Who cares that it's a PACKAGE deal, he just wants the software, thus we will only sell him the software.
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but I can't sell you the software on its own.
SC: Why not?! It's all I need.
Me: Yes, sir, but it's part of a package. You have to buy the package to get the software.
SC: I'll only return the rest of it and keep the software, so you might as well sel lit to me now.
Me: We wouldn't refund you without everything being in the package, sir. You have to buy all components. You can't destroy our inventory to suit your purposes. (Yes, I was a wee bit cranky by that point, and didn't really care what I was saying)
SC: How dare you? Sell me the f*ing software!
Me: No.
SC: Give me the software b*tch!
Me: No. <Waves over the cop in our store who helps us out the first few weeks when it's really crazy. Whom I also know outside of the store, cuz he's a nice guy and his wife is the sweetest lady>
Cop: Problem here, Lupo?
SC: Yes! This b*tch won't sell me my f*ing software!
Cop: <Looks at me for an explanation>
Me: He took apart a wrapped package because he only wants the one component that isn't sold separately.
Cop: Ok, guy, out you go!
SC: What!?! <Snarlrantfoamatmouthscreamcusswhine!!>
Cop: You're harassing employees, cussing in front of children, and taking apart merchandise. Get out before I arrest you.
SC: <Flees>
Me: Thanks!
Ok, dude, I saw that BK cup in your hand, really I did. And while I'm sure it's a heady feeling, having it YOUR way, the same rules just don't apply here. Sucks to be you, right?
Oh goody, suck at even later hours! And blatant rip offery!
Corporate decided we're going to stay open 3 hours past our usual closing time. So we get more suck filled hours to deal with. And to announce this, we have postcards sent out. I finally got a look at them, and they say on the front "Open till 10 pm or later" On the back, they read "For your late night textbook cravings"
Now, not only is that something toeing the line of plagarism, but seriously, textbook cravings? Man, I can't tell you how relieved I am about that! There are some nights, I just can't go without spending $150 for some Biological goodness. My favorite is evolutionary. The complex layers are titillating and so colorful, nothing fulfills quite like it!
no. Just no.
Had a guy come in, I asked if he needed help. He asked 17,000 questions about books, sections, prices, etc. I finally asked him if he had his schedule, to make things a little easier. His response had my brain going BSOD. It literally DIED for a few seconds.
SC: Oh, I don't go to school here, yet! See, I'm going to finish my degree starting next semester but I have to shop around before I apply to a school. I have to find a store that will actually cater to me like I deserve. So many places don't know what real customer service is anymore, you know? This is your chance to prove you want me as a customer. And I have to say, while you're answering my questions, you're not exactly treating me like you value my business. YOu need to work on that.
Me
<Mumbles something about needing to take a phone call and goes to the backroom, and finds manager> Dude, gimme a high five...MOD: Uh...why?
Me: Cuz I didn't kill anyone just now...
MOD: Er...ok... <high fives> Congratulations...I think...
Oh the (In)HUMANITY!!
I have been reduced to a new low at the store. I am Plinko Girl.
Explanation: We're running a version of Plinko at the store, like on Price is Right. Customers buying books get to play a free round, and win $5 off books, $10 off, or free tickets to an upcoming pro baseball home game. My managers decided that I, the purveyor of sarcasm abounds, death threats and general cynicism was the PERFECT candidate to wear the big ol' plink button and run the game. I am not in anyway shape or form an incarnation of little miss Mary Sunshine. I don't like people as a rule. But I had to be cheerful, smiling, happy, peppy, and personable.
Gods, my face STILL hurts from all that smiling. And people STILL bitched because I wasn't giving them more off, that I was only giving them TWO FREE ASTROS TICKETS, and that they couldn't play as many rounds as they wanted to get hundreds of dollars off books. Oh, and out of the 11 slots available for prizes there are only TWO that say sorry, or $0. And naturally, everytime those were hit, I was accused of rigging the game, told I owed them another round, and at one point, a guy snatched another plinko chip out of my hands and tried to play again...And I get to do it again today. Gods help me...please....?
Thats all I can remember for now, I'll try and update again tonight. Y'all should love this week, it's Hell on Earth for me. The SCs are out in droves, and they're taking no prisoners! Unless they're free...
I wonder what your corporate would do if someone actually called them on using that familiar jingle.
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