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Wherein I Fend Off Northern Lusts
...and continue my one man campaign to have the site inadvertently renamed to "whereincustomerssuck.com".
Shelob
Congratulations, you’ve captured what you think is a hobo spider. Not because you recognize it but because the interwebs told you so. No, I don’t know what you should do with it. It was nice of you to call and inform us though because you seem to be under the impression that capturing such a beast requires you to turn it into the authorities or some such.
For truly it is a frightening creature and some sort of SWAT or HAZMAT team should dispatched to your location immediately. In fact, what you doing you fool? GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I don’t know how you think you’re restraining it, but you’re not! It’s just playing with you! MY GOD MAN, RUN!
Timing
It’s 1:15am, know what time that is? Time to try and call the Province ( one of our city newspapers ) and update your account information! Then dial wrong and call us instead. Well, at least we’re actually in the office at this hour I suppose. I mean, it would be a shame for this sort of abject stupidity to go to waste. Stupidity is meant for sharing. That's why politics were invented.
Indifference
SC: "I'm trying to activate my calling card."
Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”
SC: “So?”
…..so? What do you mean so? That’s….just….that’s not a valid respond to my statement in any way shape or form. I can’t help you with your calling card and your bizarre indifference to this will in no way empower me to suddenly do so. I see no purpose in explaining the problem to someone utterly unrelated who cannot help you in any way shape or form.
But then again I'm not complete cunt javelin so its difficult for me to see this from your point of view.
..what?
Me: “It’s only 6am here. He’ll be in at 8am.
SC: “Oh, what time is that here…..when should I call back?”
Me: “In 2 hours.”
SC: “2 hours forward?”
No, 2 hours backward. Call two hours ago and you should be able to catch him. But unless your phone says TARDIS on the side you might be out of luck.
<sigh>
SC: “Soooo....you work in a call center?”
Me: “Yes.”
SC: “Do you have to talk a lot?”
No, I mainly use sign language.
867
Me: “and your postal code please?”
SC: “Uhh……I don’t know it.”
Me: “I need a postal code to send out an order.”
SC: “You mean it won’t just go?”
No, it won’t just “go”. While the mighty sky dragon that brings you beer and pants may seem like a magical being to you, it’s actually a rather mundane device the rest of us simply call an “airplane”. So I hate to break it to you, but the postal service is composed of mere mortals and they do not possess any sort of magic with which to divine your location.
867
Alright, for be it for me to offer fashion advice over the phone, but after envisioning the outfit you seem to be creating I feel compelled to speak up. If not for you, then for the sake of everyone with eyeballs that resides anywhere near you. First up, pink camo is a travesty against nature to begin with. Pink camo in 3XL is neigh unspeakable. The sheer severity of sacrilege is directly proportional to the total surface area. You have chosen this atrocity in 3XL skin tight format with lace trim.
I know the catalogue says the lace is "stylish". But the catalogue is lying.
Next up, black pants. Not normally a problem, but combined with pink camo it draws the eye even more to the pink camo part. Providing the eye was capable of getting away from that part to begin with.
You wisely choose to accessorize this look with a gaudy, severely overpriced ZEBRA print faux leather purse with red satin interior ( $150 ) and similarly hideous fuchsia shoes with a big ass pink elephant on the side for no reason ( $100 ).
I have no idea what’s up with the fashion trends in Nunanvut but I guess the idea is to find as many bright horrible colours and patterns as possible and fuse them into a single outfit that actually leaves an afterimage in people’s field of vision after they try to turn away in horror. Bonus points if the brand names are spelled with a “PH” and “Z” instead of an “F” and “S” like “Phranz-Pharenheit”. No I’m not making that up either. It’s in the catalogue. It’s a shoe. A horrible, horrible shoe.
Well, Wouldn't Want To Inconvenience You
SC: “Yeah there’s some alarm going off in someone’s suite and I think I smell smoke.”
Me: “Ok, and you tried to contact the resident manager?”
SC: “No, he never answers his phone at night.”
Me: “Alright, well you’ll have to try and contact him first.”
SC: “I’m not calling him! I just want to let someone know and they can do something.”
Me: “Ok, well-“
SC: “I just wanted to let someone know, I don’t want to give me name or number or anything.”
Me: “Well I can contact the property manager, but I would at least need your name-“
SC: “Whatever, they can just fscking DIE then. I don’t care. <click>”
….alright then. You think they’re going to die and the building is going to burn down but can’t be bothered to actually do anything about it because its inconvenient? Hopefully in an hour or so the fire dept will have to drag you out of your suite and treat you for severe karma inhalation.
867
Me: “and your postal code please?”
SC: “Uh, xxx xxx.”
Me: “xxx xxx?”
SC: “Yeah, but that’s for Barren Arctic Village #1, I live in Barren Arctic Village #2”
Me: “…..”
SC: “That’s my mom’s postal code.”
Me: “I need your postal code.”
SC: “Oh, you mean you need the one for here?”
Me: “Yes.”
SC: “Just send it to Barren Arctic Village #2.”
Me: “I still need a postal code.”
SC: “You actually need a postal code?”
Me: “…yes.”
DO NOT ENRAGE THE MIGHTY SKY DRAGON.
Blind Date
( This came in on a lawyer's office. )
Here's one for you. Lets say you're out on a first date. It's a blind date that your friend set you up on. You're not really up to it but you're willing to give it a shot, so you go out with the guy.
He turns out to be a complete fuck wad. To the point where you actually become so upset with him you get up, tell him to go fark himself and that you're going home. Then you leave. End of story, right?
Not so fast. You get home, and the cops are waiting. They arrest you. Why you ask?
Because your ground zero of all that is fuckwaddate finished his meal, then went up to the register and told the staff that he had no money. He told them that you had said you were going to pay, but then you told him you were going to do an eat & run. But he felt so guilty about it he decided to stay behind and confess and give a witness statement to the police on you rather then run out with you.
So now you're being charged and arrested and while its a bullshit charge, you still get to spent the night in jail because its really hard to find a lawyer at 3am.
Nice first date, eh?
So on behalf of my gender, I fully apologize for the failure of one of our own. I assure you that if I ever encounter the man in question I will, with the utmost power I can muster, reach into my pocket, pull out my keys, stick them between my knuckles and punch in him the groin.
867
Me: “Ok, and your last name please?”
SC: “Shanney.”
Me: “Can you spell it for me please?”
SC: “....Shanney.”
Me: “…..can you spell it for me please?”
SC: “….um…..”
Me: “…….”
SC: “S-h-a-n-n-e-y?”
Me: “Thank you. Ok, and your phone number please?”
SC: “xxx.”
Me: “……”
SC: “er...xxxx?”
Me: “and the area code please?”
SC: “….uh…”
Despite all the torment you cause me, I’m at least somewhat assured by the fact that if you ever push me too far I could easily wipe out at least half of your village via exposure and starvation by just having a roll of bubble wrap shipped there and dropped off in the center of town.
You have how many?
Me: “Hmm, that Amex number doesn’t seem to be going through for me. Can I confirm it with you?”
SC: “Sure.”
Me: “xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxx?”
SC: “Yep.”
Me: “Yes, that’s not going through for some reason.”
SC: “Oh, I just made a huge purchase on that one, so it’s probably overcharged. One sec, let me give you my other Amex card.”
….wait, other Amex card? You have two? ….do they actually let you do that or is the second one in your dog’s name? Do I need to change the card name to Mr Barky Von Schnauzer? You should be careful, you know. You don’t want to ruin his credit.
( God I hate that commercial. )
...that was unexpected.
Me: “They’re normally not till 7:30am and not on the weekends.”
Caller: “Oh, BALLS!”
.....yes, ma'am.
867
Me: “Ok, is that everything?”
Simian #1: “Uh, yep.”
Me: “Ok, one sec I’ll get you a total-“
Simian #2: “A JACKET! ORDER A JACAEKT!~@”
Simian #1: “Ya want me too?”
Simian #2: “YEAH!~@ ORDER A JEEKAT!”
Simian #1: “Ok, we’re gonna order a jacket.”
Me: “…..alright.”
< At this point a monkey huddle is called and they consume the next 5 minutes of my precious time hooting and grunting over the catalogue, attempting to form a cohesive decision. >
Simian #1: “Ok, we want xxxx-xxx”
Me: “Unfortunately, that one’s not currently in stock.”
Simian #1: “Uh…ok….lemme pick another….”
< Emergency monkey huddle >
Simian #1: “Ok, xxxx-xx.”
Me: “Alright.”
5 minutes later they call back….
Simian #1: “Uh...yeah, can you take off the jacket?”
…ok, let me ask you a question and I want you to be perfectly honest with me. Have you ever been outside, doing whatever it is you do….I’m not 100% sure but I assume it’s something like foraging in the snow for empty Budweiser bottles that you can crack open on a rock and try to lick the inside for sweet, sweet nectar. Then suddenly found yourself being shot at by a low flying helicopter? You may not remember it clearly, but try feeling around your neck and ears for a radio collar or some sort of tag.
Because there must be someone, somewhere that’s been given a grant to launch some sort of study on you people and that's really the only way I can picture it being conducted.
..wha?
Me: “Good morning, <company>”
SC: “Yeah, I gotta problem wif ma computer.”
Me: “Ok, wha-“
SC: “I don kno wha kinda system it is, its jus lahk a computer by the till!”
Me: “Alright, t-“
SC: “I CAN’T TALK TO THIS GUY! You talk to him!”
< He then passed the phone to a coworker. >
I’m assuming the reason he was unable to talk to me is because I can form coherent sentences in proper English. Both of which are apparently like kryptonite if you're short a chromosome.
867
Me: “Alright, and what colour would you like?”
SC: “All four of em!”
Me: “There’s five.”
SC: “…..umm.....all five of them!”
The bad news is you can't count to five. The good news you can count to four. So I guess that's something.
867 - Lust of the North
It’s lonely in the cold, barren north lands. Desperately lonely. This guy originally call early in the evening and got <female coworker whom I shall refer to as Mary>. Upon sensing something female, which I assume he’d never touched in his life and had only seen in magazines. Heck, probably only seen in our catalogue. He became overly excited and attempted to initiate cumbersome courtship, much to Mary’s dismay. She gave him to <male coworker who is also, ironically, gay so the transition must have been a shock>. He did not like <coworker>, he hung up. Then everyone left, leaving only me to face any future attempts….
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “Uh….is May there?”
Me: “....Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.”
( I know he doesn't but I'm not putting up with this all night. )
SC: “Oh.”
Yes, “May”. He didn’t even get the name of his object of lust right.
10 minutes later….
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “Ummm….is May there?”
Me: “No, there is no one by that name here.”
SC: “Uh, oh.”
15 minutes later….
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “…….is May there?”
Me: “No.”
SC: “Oh….”
10 minutes later…
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “uhhh….is May there?”
Me: “NO. There is no May here. You have the wrong number.”
SC: “Uh, oh.”
....10 minutes later.
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “…uh, hey….is May there?”
Me: “There is no one here by that name. You have the wrong number.”
SC: “Umm, oh.”
And again…..
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “….….is May there?”
Me: "YOU. ARE. CALLING. THE. WRONG. NUMBER. There is NO MAY HERE."
SC: “umm…oh.”
Jesus, leave me alone! I don’t know if the last woman in your village succumbed to polar bears 10 years ago or what but for Christ sakes man, can’t you just go lock yourself in your bedroom and rub the catalogue on yourself or something? I could seriously go without hearing the desperately aroused cries of your gonads for the rest of the night. Don't they have hand lotion up there?
Surprise, Surprise
You left your bike outside. Near your door. Not locked up. For two hours in the middle of the night. In Surrey no less. Now you’re surprised its gone. You were sure that the fact the light was on in the living room window would easily serve as a deterrent for any would be plunderers. You assumed they were really fast and were really surprised that they were really fast. Almost as if they had run or something. Or, I don’t know, rode a bike to get away. Those dastardly bandits. I mean, how dare they just go right up steal something and not spend 2 hours leisurely strolling up to it and giving it a good scrub before sauntering off with it.
To top it all off you weren’t even sure if you should call the police or not. Nah, it’s much easier for the meth heads to pawn something off if it hasn’t been reported stolen. You wouldn’t want to inconvenience them or anything.
annnd...rest.
Shelob
Congratulations, you’ve captured what you think is a hobo spider. Not because you recognize it but because the interwebs told you so. No, I don’t know what you should do with it. It was nice of you to call and inform us though because you seem to be under the impression that capturing such a beast requires you to turn it into the authorities or some such.
For truly it is a frightening creature and some sort of SWAT or HAZMAT team should dispatched to your location immediately. In fact, what you doing you fool? GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I don’t know how you think you’re restraining it, but you’re not! It’s just playing with you! MY GOD MAN, RUN!
Timing
It’s 1:15am, know what time that is? Time to try and call the Province ( one of our city newspapers ) and update your account information! Then dial wrong and call us instead. Well, at least we’re actually in the office at this hour I suppose. I mean, it would be a shame for this sort of abject stupidity to go to waste. Stupidity is meant for sharing. That's why politics were invented.
Indifference
SC: "I'm trying to activate my calling card."
Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”
SC: “So?”
…..so? What do you mean so? That’s….just….that’s not a valid respond to my statement in any way shape or form. I can’t help you with your calling card and your bizarre indifference to this will in no way empower me to suddenly do so. I see no purpose in explaining the problem to someone utterly unrelated who cannot help you in any way shape or form.
But then again I'm not complete cunt javelin so its difficult for me to see this from your point of view.
..what?
Me: “It’s only 6am here. He’ll be in at 8am.
SC: “Oh, what time is that here…..when should I call back?”
Me: “In 2 hours.”
SC: “2 hours forward?”
No, 2 hours backward. Call two hours ago and you should be able to catch him. But unless your phone says TARDIS on the side you might be out of luck.
<sigh>
SC: “Soooo....you work in a call center?”
Me: “Yes.”
SC: “Do you have to talk a lot?”
No, I mainly use sign language.
867
Me: “and your postal code please?”
SC: “Uhh……I don’t know it.”
Me: “I need a postal code to send out an order.”
SC: “You mean it won’t just go?”
No, it won’t just “go”. While the mighty sky dragon that brings you beer and pants may seem like a magical being to you, it’s actually a rather mundane device the rest of us simply call an “airplane”. So I hate to break it to you, but the postal service is composed of mere mortals and they do not possess any sort of magic with which to divine your location.
867
Alright, for be it for me to offer fashion advice over the phone, but after envisioning the outfit you seem to be creating I feel compelled to speak up. If not for you, then for the sake of everyone with eyeballs that resides anywhere near you. First up, pink camo is a travesty against nature to begin with. Pink camo in 3XL is neigh unspeakable. The sheer severity of sacrilege is directly proportional to the total surface area. You have chosen this atrocity in 3XL skin tight format with lace trim.
I know the catalogue says the lace is "stylish". But the catalogue is lying.
Next up, black pants. Not normally a problem, but combined with pink camo it draws the eye even more to the pink camo part. Providing the eye was capable of getting away from that part to begin with.
You wisely choose to accessorize this look with a gaudy, severely overpriced ZEBRA print faux leather purse with red satin interior ( $150 ) and similarly hideous fuchsia shoes with a big ass pink elephant on the side for no reason ( $100 ).
I have no idea what’s up with the fashion trends in Nunanvut but I guess the idea is to find as many bright horrible colours and patterns as possible and fuse them into a single outfit that actually leaves an afterimage in people’s field of vision after they try to turn away in horror. Bonus points if the brand names are spelled with a “PH” and “Z” instead of an “F” and “S” like “Phranz-Pharenheit”. No I’m not making that up either. It’s in the catalogue. It’s a shoe. A horrible, horrible shoe.
Well, Wouldn't Want To Inconvenience You
SC: “Yeah there’s some alarm going off in someone’s suite and I think I smell smoke.”
Me: “Ok, and you tried to contact the resident manager?”
SC: “No, he never answers his phone at night.”
Me: “Alright, well you’ll have to try and contact him first.”
SC: “I’m not calling him! I just want to let someone know and they can do something.”
Me: “Ok, well-“
SC: “I just wanted to let someone know, I don’t want to give me name or number or anything.”
Me: “Well I can contact the property manager, but I would at least need your name-“
SC: “Whatever, they can just fscking DIE then. I don’t care. <click>”
….alright then. You think they’re going to die and the building is going to burn down but can’t be bothered to actually do anything about it because its inconvenient? Hopefully in an hour or so the fire dept will have to drag you out of your suite and treat you for severe karma inhalation.
867
Me: “and your postal code please?”
SC: “Uh, xxx xxx.”
Me: “xxx xxx?”
SC: “Yeah, but that’s for Barren Arctic Village #1, I live in Barren Arctic Village #2”
Me: “…..”
SC: “That’s my mom’s postal code.”
Me: “I need your postal code.”
SC: “Oh, you mean you need the one for here?”
Me: “Yes.”
SC: “Just send it to Barren Arctic Village #2.”
Me: “I still need a postal code.”
SC: “You actually need a postal code?”
Me: “…yes.”
DO NOT ENRAGE THE MIGHTY SKY DRAGON.
Blind Date
( This came in on a lawyer's office. )
Here's one for you. Lets say you're out on a first date. It's a blind date that your friend set you up on. You're not really up to it but you're willing to give it a shot, so you go out with the guy.
He turns out to be a complete fuck wad. To the point where you actually become so upset with him you get up, tell him to go fark himself and that you're going home. Then you leave. End of story, right?
Not so fast. You get home, and the cops are waiting. They arrest you. Why you ask?
Because your ground zero of all that is fuckwaddate finished his meal, then went up to the register and told the staff that he had no money. He told them that you had said you were going to pay, but then you told him you were going to do an eat & run. But he felt so guilty about it he decided to stay behind and confess and give a witness statement to the police on you rather then run out with you.
So now you're being charged and arrested and while its a bullshit charge, you still get to spent the night in jail because its really hard to find a lawyer at 3am.
Nice first date, eh?
So on behalf of my gender, I fully apologize for the failure of one of our own. I assure you that if I ever encounter the man in question I will, with the utmost power I can muster, reach into my pocket, pull out my keys, stick them between my knuckles and punch in him the groin.
867
Me: “Ok, and your last name please?”
SC: “Shanney.”
Me: “Can you spell it for me please?”
SC: “....Shanney.”
Me: “…..can you spell it for me please?”
SC: “….um…..”
Me: “…….”
SC: “S-h-a-n-n-e-y?”
Me: “Thank you. Ok, and your phone number please?”
SC: “xxx.”
Me: “……”
SC: “er...xxxx?”
Me: “and the area code please?”
SC: “….uh…”
Despite all the torment you cause me, I’m at least somewhat assured by the fact that if you ever push me too far I could easily wipe out at least half of your village via exposure and starvation by just having a roll of bubble wrap shipped there and dropped off in the center of town.
You have how many?
Me: “Hmm, that Amex number doesn’t seem to be going through for me. Can I confirm it with you?”
SC: “Sure.”
Me: “xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxx?”
SC: “Yep.”
Me: “Yes, that’s not going through for some reason.”
SC: “Oh, I just made a huge purchase on that one, so it’s probably overcharged. One sec, let me give you my other Amex card.”
….wait, other Amex card? You have two? ….do they actually let you do that or is the second one in your dog’s name? Do I need to change the card name to Mr Barky Von Schnauzer? You should be careful, you know. You don’t want to ruin his credit.
( God I hate that commercial. )
...that was unexpected.
Me: “They’re normally not till 7:30am and not on the weekends.”
Caller: “Oh, BALLS!”
.....yes, ma'am.
867
Me: “Ok, is that everything?”
Simian #1: “Uh, yep.”
Me: “Ok, one sec I’ll get you a total-“
Simian #2: “A JACKET! ORDER A JACAEKT!~@”
Simian #1: “Ya want me too?”
Simian #2: “YEAH!~@ ORDER A JEEKAT!”
Simian #1: “Ok, we’re gonna order a jacket.”
Me: “…..alright.”
< At this point a monkey huddle is called and they consume the next 5 minutes of my precious time hooting and grunting over the catalogue, attempting to form a cohesive decision. >
Simian #1: “Ok, we want xxxx-xxx”
Me: “Unfortunately, that one’s not currently in stock.”
Simian #1: “Uh…ok….lemme pick another….”
< Emergency monkey huddle >
Simian #1: “Ok, xxxx-xx.”
Me: “Alright.”
5 minutes later they call back….
Simian #1: “Uh...yeah, can you take off the jacket?”
…ok, let me ask you a question and I want you to be perfectly honest with me. Have you ever been outside, doing whatever it is you do….I’m not 100% sure but I assume it’s something like foraging in the snow for empty Budweiser bottles that you can crack open on a rock and try to lick the inside for sweet, sweet nectar. Then suddenly found yourself being shot at by a low flying helicopter? You may not remember it clearly, but try feeling around your neck and ears for a radio collar or some sort of tag.
Because there must be someone, somewhere that’s been given a grant to launch some sort of study on you people and that's really the only way I can picture it being conducted.
..wha?
Me: “Good morning, <company>”
SC: “Yeah, I gotta problem wif ma computer.”
Me: “Ok, wha-“
SC: “I don kno wha kinda system it is, its jus lahk a computer by the till!”
Me: “Alright, t-“
SC: “I CAN’T TALK TO THIS GUY! You talk to him!”
< He then passed the phone to a coworker. >
I’m assuming the reason he was unable to talk to me is because I can form coherent sentences in proper English. Both of which are apparently like kryptonite if you're short a chromosome.
867
Me: “Alright, and what colour would you like?”
SC: “All four of em!”
Me: “There’s five.”
SC: “…..umm.....all five of them!”
The bad news is you can't count to five. The good news you can count to four. So I guess that's something.
867 - Lust of the North
It’s lonely in the cold, barren north lands. Desperately lonely. This guy originally call early in the evening and got <female coworker whom I shall refer to as Mary>. Upon sensing something female, which I assume he’d never touched in his life and had only seen in magazines. Heck, probably only seen in our catalogue. He became overly excited and attempted to initiate cumbersome courtship, much to Mary’s dismay. She gave him to <male coworker who is also, ironically, gay so the transition must have been a shock>. He did not like <coworker>, he hung up. Then everyone left, leaving only me to face any future attempts….
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “Uh….is May there?”
Me: “....Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.”
( I know he doesn't but I'm not putting up with this all night. )
SC: “Oh.”
Yes, “May”. He didn’t even get the name of his object of lust right.
10 minutes later….
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “Ummm….is May there?”
Me: “No, there is no one by that name here.”
SC: “Uh, oh.”
15 minutes later….
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “…….is May there?”
Me: “No.”
SC: “Oh….”
10 minutes later…
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “uhhh….is May there?”
Me: “NO. There is no May here. You have the wrong number.”
SC: “Uh, oh.”
....10 minutes later.
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “…uh, hey….is May there?”
Me: “There is no one here by that name. You have the wrong number.”
SC: “Umm, oh.”
And again…..
Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “….….is May there?”
Me: "YOU. ARE. CALLING. THE. WRONG. NUMBER. There is NO MAY HERE."
SC: “umm…oh.”
Jesus, leave me alone! I don’t know if the last woman in your village succumbed to polar bears 10 years ago or what but for Christ sakes man, can’t you just go lock yourself in your bedroom and rub the catalogue on yourself or something? I could seriously go without hearing the desperately aroused cries of your gonads for the rest of the night. Don't they have hand lotion up there?
Surprise, Surprise
You left your bike outside. Near your door. Not locked up. For two hours in the middle of the night. In Surrey no less. Now you’re surprised its gone. You were sure that the fact the light was on in the living room window would easily serve as a deterrent for any would be plunderers. You assumed they were really fast and were really surprised that they were really fast. Almost as if they had run or something. Or, I don’t know, rode a bike to get away. Those dastardly bandits. I mean, how dare they just go right up steal something and not spend 2 hours leisurely strolling up to it and giving it a good scrub before sauntering off with it.
To top it all off you weren’t even sure if you should call the police or not. Nah, it’s much easier for the meth heads to pawn something off if it hasn’t been reported stolen. You wouldn’t want to inconvenience them or anything.
annnd...rest.
Oh THAT is the gem that officially makes me one of your fans 
in amounts that one can only get from Costco. Thank you very much.
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