Dear "Valued" Customer: (Longish)

[Mr Hero]

Dr. Mr. Larson/Larsen, Peterson/Petersen, Stevens/Stephens:

We would like to thank you on behalf Cool Hotel for chosing to stay with us. Please forvgive us if we mispell your name. You see, you have the luxery of having a last name that is easy to pronounce just by looking at it. Please be advised that it does not work in reverse. Just because you stated your name so clearly, does not mean that I instantly know how to spell it. If you would like such priviledges, we would advise you to change your name to Smith or Jones.

We would also like to be the first to welcome you to Denver. If you need directions, you have our number. Our staff would be more than happy to give you directions. Please be advised that without giving street intersections, you should not call to get directions from any of the following:
Starbucks
McDonald's
Walgreens

Please be awayre that we cannot help you either if you are callnig to get directions from some obscore hole in the wall establishment unless you provide an intersection.

Our front desk staff will be there to greet you. You will need a valid ID and credit card. We will also ask for your licesne plate number. We ask for your cooperation in obtaining the plate number. Your catbutt face and telling me that you do not know the plate number will not change this policy. If you need to, step outside the hotel to check. The parking lot is fairly small and well-lit. A few steps will not kill anyone.

Lastly, if you notice that one of our agents needs to read things closer than most people, be aware that this is a disability that he has. It is not necesary to laugh at this fact and get upset if he needs to bring your ID closer to his face so he can get the ID#. His disablity will not slow down your check-in process severely. Live with it.

We appreciate your business and hope to see you soon.

Sincerely

Some Guy
Cool Hotel
Denver

[Saydrah]

AH HA a DENVERITE!

*tackles, marks with ear tag and radio collar*

There, now you can't ditch our meetups like CERTAIN PEOPLE

Do you work with Khiras?

Also, my first name is impossible to pronounce right on the first try if you've seen it written, and impossible to spell right on the first try if you've seen it spoken, unless you've met someone with the same name.

[NightWatch]

Quoth Saydrah

*tackles, marks with ear tag and radio collar*

SAYDRAH!!!!! Do not harass the poor animal human. If he doesn't want to be our slave friend he doesn't have to be.

[Saydrah]

Buh buh buh butttttt.....

I'm ENTITLED to all the slaves friends I want! I demand to speak with your manager!

Oh god I can't do that with a straight face even online.

[NightWatch]

Quoth Saydrah

I demand to speak with your manager!

*hands you ginormous scary,grumpy man of doom who is supervising today. scary man flexes meat-fists the size of watermelons.* good luck with that! *runs away*

[Saydrah]

What's Khiras doing here?

[NightWatch]

My sup makes Khiras look pathetic. He's also Asian, so you're doing the WTF?!. (Disclaimer: Not meant to be a racist remark, but seriously, how many 6'3" 280 lb Asians do you run into?)

[ta2ooed1]

Quoth NightWatch

My sup makes Khiras look pathetic. He's also Asian, so you're doing the WTF?!. (Disclaimer: Not meant to be a racist remark, but seriously, how many 6'3" 280 lb Asians do you run into?)

If you're in to sumo wrestling, quite a few I'd bet

[NightWatch]

Quoth ta2ooed1

If you're in to sumo wrestling, quite a few I'd bet

Touche...

[fireheart]

I am so glad that I am not being targeted by edible_hat for being in Adelaide.
Eep....*ducks and hides*