Bob Noxious

Dips · #1 10-29-2008, 08:37 PM

This lovely specimen graced our phones last week.

His first act was to call while we were busy. Then hang up five times when he got rolled to voice mail.

When that didn't work he left three identical voice mail messages in five minutes. They all said this:

"This is Bob. I'm trying to reach Carl at extension 17. Call me back at [number]."

Carl's phone was out of service for a bit, so I called Bob back myself. It didn't go well.

Me: This is Dips from Awesome Software returning a call from Bob.

Bob: I called for Carl.

Me: I understand. Unfortunately, we are having some trouble getting through to his extension right now. Can I get your Awesome license or serial number?

Bob: Jesus! I don't have it. I just need to talk to Carl.

Me: I need your license or serial number, please.

Bob: Look. My computer's at home. I'm not driving all the way there to look up my license. Put me through to Carl.

Me: If you don't have your license or ser...

Bob: Jesus! Don't you know who I am? I've talked to YOU before, Dips!

Me: I talk to a lot of people, Bob. I was going to say that if you don't have it, I can look you up by name.

Bob: Jesus! All this just to talk to Carl.

Me: Can you tell me your last name please?

Bob: [Lastname]!

Me: Ah. Yes. You're with [publishing house of US mainstream religious organization], right? I do recall speaking with you last week to give you a free test license for [device]. Did you get that activated all right?

[Note: He was a jerk then too. I'll reply to this thread with the details later.]

Bob: Yes!

Me: As I said, we are unable to reach Carl at extension 17. You can try his email address or I can email your contact info to him...

Bob: You know what? I don't have time for this now. I'll try again tomorrow. <click>

Two minutes later Carl's phone was fixed. So I called extension 17...

Me: Carl? This is Dips.

Carl: Hello, Dips. How's it going?

Me: Just a heads up that Bob [lastname] was trying to reach you today.

Carl: [sigh] Oh, God. What does he want?

Me: He didn't say. I was going to have you call him back, but he didn't want to wait and said he'd call back tomorrow. Do you want his number anyway?

Carl: Hell, no.

Me: OK, then. Have a good afternoon.

Carl: You too. Bye!

Me: Bye!

cawaker · #2 10-29-2008, 09:02 PM

lol thats how conversations go with me and my coworkers when people call for me.

Alpha Strike · #3 10-29-2008, 09:43 PM

It never fails: the only customers who ever remember my name correctly when they call back are the SCs who I want to avoid like the plague.

PepperElf · #4 10-30-2008, 05:10 AM

or that they get assistance from a person, and then decide that person is their personal assistant 247 and will accept no one else...

Alpha Strike · #5 10-30-2008, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Quoth PepperElf

or that they get assistance from a person, and then decide that person is their personal assistant 247 and will accept no one else...

Ugh. Yes, those calls annoy the piss out of me. And 9 times out of 10, whatever issue the SC can ONLY speak with a certain employee about are things that could have been solved right away with whoever initially answered the phone or greeted the SC.

These folks are usually the same ones who say something like "Hi AlphaStrike! My name is SoandSo and three years ago you spoke to me and said this - remember me?!," expect that you will have memorized every detail of the conversation and then seem stunned that you might have forgotten their original, oh-so-important call.

Nashida · #6 10-31-2008, 12:12 AM

I'm sorry, I'm seriously cracking up at the name because it reminded me of something. There's this show that travels around the East Coast that is a mix of Godzilla and WWE, called Kaiju Big Battel. The whole thing is annouced by this really loud guy with loud hair.

His stage name? Louden Noxious.

Jay 2K Winger · #7 11-03-2008, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Quoth Nashida

I'm sorry, I'm seriously cracking up at the name because it reminded me of something. There's this show that travels around the East Coast that is a mix of Godzilla and WWE, called Kaiju Big Battel. The whole thing is annouced by this really loud guy with loud hair.

His stage name? Louden Noxious.

I've met Louden! He now does ring announcing for CHIKARA, a wrestling company that operates out of Philadelphia. I got him to sign my Box o' CHIKARA (which has the autographs of other CHIKARA personalities), and he signed his name huge on one side of the box.