"I Don't Work Here" megathread

[Knifeman]

We know the stories... can we have that one again wehre the old woman dragged a manager and the manager yelled at the customer?

[Imogene]

Ooh...

Once, on my break, at Chesterfield, I was wandering around in Spencer's (shows how old this story is, there hasn't been a Spencers in Chesterfield for years now) I had some woman come up to me as I'm headed for the door. "You sold me a bad Lava Lamp!" Not exactly angry about it, just obviously not happy. "I did, did I? Well, that's funny, cause I don't sell Lava Lamps." Woman gives me an odd look, and I can see her thinking that I'm playing a game on her, so I point out my lapel, which says nothing close to Spencer's, and went on my way.

I spent a few other lunch breaks in our sister store at the other end of the mall, more for the exercise than because I needed anything. I had somebody come up to me, and start out "Can you help...? Oh, wait, you don't work here."

More often than not, I would be accosted in GameStop, just down the hall, usually before I was even on shift. Somebody, from halfway across the store (I swear. Never right next to me, always about halfway back in the store, as I'm staring at the new release computer games, eyes glazed over as I try to figure out: 1. Do I really care about the newest Blizzard game? 2. Can my piece of crap comp run it?) just out of the blue "Can you tell me if this will run on my comp?" And I'm just staring at the games. Person usually comes up to me then, and repeats, loudly. I finally look up at them. "Oh, you were asking me?" Sigh. "Yes." In that petulant tone we all know so well. "Well, no, I can't tell you anything, sir/maam/none of the above." Gaping fish mouth response. "Why not?" I grin. "If you want to walk down the hall about twenty feet and actually come into the store where I work, I can help you pick out a movie, but video games are on my own time. I'm not getting paid to help you here. At least, not yet. There has recently been an exodus of managers coming to GameStop to work, so, who knows? I might be caught up in the flow..." Okay, so I never really said all that, but it was usually up to pointing out directions to my store.

[Knightmare]

One time, many years ago when I was working at RadioShack, I was in my store in the mall, just hanging out. *remember how you did that when you were young and started a cool job? Just hung out at the store?* Anyway, I was standing in front of the computer stuff we had, and I was wearing shorts and a Metallica t-shirt (before they sold out) and was unshaven. Basically, I was a slob that day.
As I'm looking over the wireless networking equipment, this lady comes up to me and asks "Do you work here?" I look at her, and then look myself up and down. I'm all grunge and the other associates are wearing the khaki pants and blue shirts.
"Uh, yeah, but not today. I'm off, and doing some shopping." I reply.
"Well, could you help me with blah blah blah?" I don't remember what she asked about, it was something stupid. "The other people are busy."
"Ok, I'll answer some questions for you, if that will help." I said.

Big mistake. After I answered some basic questions for her, she wouldn't leave me alone after that. She'd go away, and then come back a few minutes later, again and again about some other stupid thing. And then she told me she had a repair pick up, and wanted me to go to the backroom to get it and ring it up.
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
"Why not? You work here!" She whined.
"Because no one is allowed in the back room that doesn't have a uniform on. You'll just have to wait for another associate to become free."
"But you work here!"
"Yes, I do. But it is my DAY OFF. I am not getting paid right now. I am a customer, just like you."
"But you work here!"
"Ma'am, I know I work here. You don't have to keep telling me that. But right now, I am a customer. Just a plain customer, trying to buy something.
I've helped you all I can, and I can't do anymore without clocking in."
"So why don't you clock in and help me?" This lady was stupid and obnoxious.
"Ok, you wait right here while I go home, get my uniform, come back, and clock in. That will take about an hour, ok? Or you can wait a few more minutes until someone can ring you up. Which do you prefer?"
"So you won't ring me up then?"
"NO I WILL NOT RING YOU UP BECAUSE I AM NOT ALLOWED TO RING YOU UP."

She walked away at this point to the back of the store to look at something else. I continued looking at things, and then noticed from the corner of my eye that she was coming back. I put the item down and yelled to the rest of the crew "I'll see you all later. Have fun!" and walked out as fast as I could.
I'm surprised she didn't follow me out of the store.

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The other day, I was in Target wearing baggy cargo shorts and a green t-shirt that says "Save a tree! Eat a cow!" (The PETA people love that shirt LOL) and was, again, unshaven and grungy. I'm in the cookware aisle looking at new saute pans when this older lady comes up to me and asks what the price on a pan was.
Me: "I couldn't tell you ma'am. I have no idea."
SC: "Don't you work in this department?"
Me: "No. I don't work here at all."
SC: "Are you sure? I've seen you in this department before." Why do they always asks if we're sure?
Me: "Well, I do shop here a great deal. And this is probably my favorite part of the store. I love to cook."
SC: "I'm sorry. I just saw a familiar face and thought you worked here. I can't find anyone in this department."

Just then, the person working this department comes up and says "Hi Knightmare. Nice shirt! How can I help you today, ma'am?"

SC: "Does he work here? (pointing to me).
SA: "No, but he does come here a lot. He's always buying some new pot or pan or something."
SC: "Where can I find the coffee makers?"
Me: "Next aisle over."

Ok, so she wasn't exactly an SC. But why don't people believe us when we say WE DON'T WORK HERE!?

[powerboy]

I ha it once, when I was shopping with my girlfriend at the time. We were shopping at OfficeMax, and this one customer came up and starting asking me if we had in whatever the hell it was. I told her that I don't work there, and ofcourse she thinks I am lying. Hell, I was unshaven, had jeans on, and sandals. She acussed me of lying, and said that is going to tell me manager and get me fired. I told her to go ahead, but my manager would just laugh, and do nothing, because I work in a factory.

[MadMike]

Quoth Knightmare

"Uh, yeah, but not today. I'm off, and doing some shopping." I reply.
"Well, could you help me with blah blah blah?"

For this exact reason, I would never tell them I worked there. I'd just say "no" and leave it at that.

I suppose I could have gotten in trouble if they came in another day and saw me working, but it never happened. I don't know if they actually bothered remembering our faces anyway.

[Imogene]

And, now that I think about it, my family did the same thing once, while we were at a Dave and Busters, doing something different for once. My brother spilled his drink off the pool table, and my Dad kinda waved down a guy who was standing near another pool table to let him know we'd spilled a drink. The guy said "Whose drink was it?" And played along for a short time, then let us know he didn't work there. He laughed it off with us, luckily.

[theredbaron47]

Wow, from some of the stories you all have, some customers (SC's, at that) just don't get it.

I frequent my store a lot as a customer just because they are quite handy to have close by, a hardware/garden kind of store. I have worked there longer than every other cashiers, and there are quite a few customers who recognize me at the very least from having seen me there so much. Every now and then I always get an inevitable question from a random weekend warrior. They normally aren't bad at all, usually just a simple "could you please tell me where X is" type of deal, in which case I'm more than willing to point them in the right direction. As soon as it gets more complicated than that, though, I tell them that another clerk who is on the clock would be more than happy to help them, as they are normally walking around and the customer is too lazy to find them.

Why they think it is acceptable to approach me while I'm wearing cut-off jean shorts, flip-flops, and a t-shirt (obviously not working) is beyond me.

Oh, that's right, I forgot...

...they are Customers.

...

[Gas Station Girl]

I got that today when I was at the mall shopping for shoes. I was just wearing a plain T-shirt, jeans, and sandals, and this lady came up to me, right in the middle of the mall (I wasn't even in a store or anything) and asked me if I knew where she could find a dress. I told her I didn't know and she was like, "me neither", and she left it at that. I don't know if she thought I worked in the mall, of if she just thought that I might know where to find a dress, but I still found it really strange to be approached like that.

I come to my store all the time when I'm not on duty, sometimes to buy snacks, and sometimes to buy gas. Since I've worked there for so long, a lot of customers will recognize me and will expect me to help them even though I'm not in uniform. And, of course, I get a few who ask me if I live there.

[Kiwi]

now you could be evil and pretend you work there and when they ask where the spices are, point then in a random direction

insist that the basil IS by the bakery/meat deli/frozen foods

only problem is them eventually tracking down an actual staff member and yelling at them.... and you know they would to

I have found working in a mall that Im expected to know where everything is, despite my stand being TWO METERS from a mall map...... I dont freaking know where shoppers drug mart is why dont you use your eyes you you you lazy wood panel!

[Dips]

This almost never happens to me, but just last week I got a doozy.

I was on a cruise with my family and in-laws. On my way to breakfast a lady RAN across the ship to me and demanded to know where she could purchase Platex tampons.

I told her that there were tampons available in all the public ladies restrooms on the ship for free; they could also be delivered to her stateroom if she requested it.

Nope, the ship carried the wrong brand. She had to have Playtex.

Oh, well. I shrugged and told her to check the ship's store.

Turns out the store was closed because we were anchored off Belize City (local regulations don't allow ships to have stores open while in port).

I suggested she take a tender ashore and try to find them there.

She couldn't wait that long. It was an emergency *cough:: poor planning ::cough*.

Some emergency. If it was that urgent she would take what was available and be grateful for it.

What was really funny was that she kept trying to make me care. Look, Lady, I just came up with several perfectly good solutions to your problem out of the goodness of my heart. The choices are A and B. The fact that you don't like either A or B doesn't concern me or scandalize me or make me sympathetic to you. You also won't make me think poorly of the cruise line's service; I happen to think providing free tampons to guests is EXCELLENT service.

The only thing which scandalizes me right now is that you might sit on something before you find your precious Playtex tampons. So I'm going to try to choke down my breakfast and try not to think about THAT.