Take-Home Buffet, by TonyDonuts
(7/29/03 6:38 pm)
Get comfy kids, it's a long story.
This happened at an Old Country Buffet here in town five or six years ago. The dialog is approximate. I was sitting near the registers, eating (I didn't work there), when I saw a couple walk in.
And dragging in what had to be a 60-quart Coleman cooler.
The manager asked them if they'd like to leave it at the front counter so it wouldn't take up space at their table. And probably was wondering, and probably suspecting, why they had brought the crazy thing in.
"We need it for our left overs!" the woman replied, rather forcefully.
"Um, you can't take food out of here, you have to eat it here."
"Well," says the man, "your sign don't say that, so if we want to load up this here cooler, you can't stop us."
The manager turns to the cashier, tells her to hand him the amount they had paid, he handed the money to the man, and said, "I think you should leave, now."
The man gets very belligerant, "I know the law, you can't throw us out just 'cause we found a loophole in your system."
The manager stares at them both for almost a full minute, reaches behind the counter and pulls out a cordless phone. he dialled a number and then held it to his ear.
"Who you callin', your lawyer?" said the man, with a sneer in his voice.
"No," said the manager, "the cops. I'm having you busted for trespassing."
"I've asked you to leave, you refused, so I'm calling the cops and having you busted for trespassing."
"You CAN'T do that. I know the law!"
"I can do anything I want to. You tried to defraud my company, I called you on it, and you got belligerant. Enjoy your trip downtown."
The conversation went back and forth in this vein until the cops showed up. They informed the couple, in no uncertain terms (but not unkindly, they spoke as though they were talking to very small, very backward children) that what they were trying to do was unacceptable behavior for adults in public, and that if they did not leave voluntarily they would leave INvoluntarily.
Eventually they accepted that they had NOT found a loophole in the system and left. Shouting threats of legal action against the restaurant, the m
Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.