A real piece of work, or maybe just on the verge?

MoxisPilot · #1 02-26-2009, 04:10 PM

I don't post that often, what with me being in the land of unemployment out here in Italy, but boy, do the Americans on the base provide some real doozies once in a while.

For those of you who don't know how things work at the base grocery store (Commissary), someone checks your ID before you enter (most of them, anyway), and when you check out, someone bags your stuff and wheels it out to the car for you. It's appropriate to tip the latter person, and they are not responsible for doing anything other than bagging and wheeling your goodies to the car, because they work only for tips (so I'm told).

Backstory aside, the following happened the other day:

Me: *Not involved and totally flabberghasted*
Crazy Woman: CW
Doorman: D, has NO AUTHORITY WHATSOEVER to do ANYTHING except check IDs. Is NOT a manager. Is just a DOORMAN. Is a little, adorable Italian man who barely speaks English.

CW comes in, and approaches D.

CW: *starts off extremely aggressively* I just checked out and your bagger brought my things out to my car, but she wouldn't bring my basket inside!

D: Okay. (I'm not entirely sure he understood anything she said/; he says "Okay" to a lot of things.)

CW: Aren't you going to do something about this??

D: *Smiles, a little tiredly, like he's not really obligated to please her and just wants to go home.*

CW: She wouldn't take my basket. *pause* You don't care, do you?

D: *Silence.*

CW: *Laughing- yes, actually LAUGHING* YOU DON'T, DO YOU! (This is shouted, not questioningly, but in an accusatory tone, loud enough to draw attention from everyone in the area.) YOU DON'T.

Before anyone could respond, much less the manager who was walking up, she stormed out, leaving everyone with this look:

I'm not entirely sure the doorman understood what had just happened to him, and I'm definitely not sure what she expected him to do to the bagger who refused to do something that wasn't her job.

I can only think that this woman needed to feel like she could push someone around, and the bagger and doorman seemed like easy marks.

Ironclad Alibi · #2 02-27-2009, 02:27 AM

Quote:

Quoth MoxisPilot

D: Okay. (I'm not entirely sure he understood anything she said/; he says "Okay" to a lot of things.)

D: *Smiles, a little tiredly, like he's not really obligated to please her and just wants to go home.*

D: *Silence.*

The Doorman is the master.

May we all learn from his masterful ways for dealing with SCs.

RetailWorkhorse · #3 02-27-2009, 02:53 AM

Uh, Ironclad, I think the Doorman only reacted the way he did was because he didn't understand what the lady was doing.

When in doubt, smile!

Oh, my face hurts from smiling now. D:

That lady, though? Total fruit loop.

CaroPhoenix · #4 02-27-2009, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Quoth RetailWorkhorse

Uh, Ironclad, I think the Doorman only reacted the way he did was because he didn't understand what the lady was doing.

When in doubt, smile!

Oh, my face hurts from smiling now. D:

That lady, though? Total fruit loop.

RW ... Maybe Ironclad is telling us to "forget" how to speak English and smile and look tired at the SCs?

RecoveringKinkoid · #5 02-27-2009, 03:30 AM

Well, it worked for me once, and ironically, it was in Italy. Rome, to be exact.

Some dumb little teenager came up to me and tried to panhandle me. She wasn't homeless, she was just too fucking lazy to walk and wanted taxi fare. Ha ha. I just pretended I had no idea what she'd said to me. Worked great.

RetailWorkhorse · #6 02-27-2009, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Quoth idrinkarum

RW ... Maybe Ironclad is telling us to "forget" how to speak English and smile and look tired at the SCs?

*Blink-blink*

That's FANTASTIC! Ironclad, you're a frikken GENIUS! Oh dog, I have GOT to try that!

*Rubs hands together in glee*

MoxisPilot · #7 02-27-2009, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Quoth RecoveringKinkoid

Well, it worked for me once, and ironically, it was in Italy. Rome, to be exact.

Some dumb little teenager came up to me and tried to panhandle me. She wasn't homeless, she was just too fucking lazy to walk and wanted taxi fare. Ha ha. I just pretended I had no idea what she'd said to me. Worked great.

I do this often in Rome, Naples, and Paris. When in doubt, respond in German. Only Americans are bleeding-hearts, apparently. The panhandlers only speak (mostly) English and their native language.

Of course, I had one woman SEE me speak French in Paris (ordering coffee), then decided to panhandle me in French (Oh, please, you're drinking lovely coffee and I'm SO hungry!!). I couldn't exactly lie, so I ignored her...and she put a "curse" on me. Or tried to, I guess?

But yes, for the most part, playing dumb and glowering at them seems to work.

Ironclad Alibi · #8 02-27-2009, 11:47 PM

It didn't take too long to figure that all out. The OP reminds me of the movie Being There.

RecoveringKinkoid · #9 02-28-2009, 06:03 AM

The little fool panhandled me in Italian. I'm not all that fluent, I'm just fluent enough. I knew exactly what she said. And because she dumbed down what she said, I dont' even think she knew I was as fluent as I was.

I don't really know what she was thinking, to be honest. If she thought I was a Yank, why panhandle me in Italian? And if she thought I was local, why dumb down her language and add charades, which she did.

Maybe she was just a magnificent dumbass, I dunno.

Nurian · #10 03-03-2009, 08:56 PM

This thread takes me back. I worked as a bagger at a Commissary once (I was told the job used to be performed by prisoners). There's no salary, we got paid on tips alone. Worse first job for a 16 year old. True, you get cash every day, but it's REALLY hard to resist the temptation to spend it that day.

This customer was typical of SC's I encountered there. To most soldiers' credit, it was usually officer's families that tried crap like that.