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  • The Beast

    My mother, fool that she is, has picked up a stray monster from the barn. This, this beast, is so hairy. Dark brown and black hair cover this demon from head to toe. If you could only understand the horror this family has to endure because of my mother's actions. The demon's tail whips at you with such pain, she sniffs you like it's deciding whether you're appetizing. It's cold wet nose sends shivers down to your spine. And it's roar. Oh, it's roar. So loud, so fierce. Wait, I hear it now. It's coming to get me! Can't you fools hear it?!

    Meow.
    "But I don't want to be among mad people."
    You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us.

  • #2
    Evil kittehs!
    Attached Files
    I have a...thing. Wanna see it?

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    • #3
      Is it a Maine Coon? Those aren't cats, they're small dogs
      Your neck is 7 and a half feet wide and 4 and a half feet tall. Your shoulders are also around 4 and a half feet wide. Your butt is 4 feet wide and your arms are around 3 feet long-gravekeeper

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      • #4
        No, they're just real cats. Those other things are just pussies.

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        • #5
          Or like my parents cat. Very muscular kitty. I've seen it make a nine-foot vertical leap from a stand-still, and not have to scrabble to get on top of a TV cabinet. This is the same cat who would walk up and roundhouse-swat the Chow on the face. Then stare it down like, "Go ahead. I dare you to do something about it." The cat was the Alpha of that pack.
          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
          Hoc spatio locantur.

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          • #6
            I'm sure it's a terrible demon, but nothing compared to the like of this fearsome beast:

            Watch, if you dare
            I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

            Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

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            • #7
              Quoth Spiffy McMoron View Post
              I'm sure it's a terrible demon, but nothing compared to the like of this fearsome beast:

              Watch, if you dare
              LOL I was waiting and waiting and waiting and them BAM! That was a great attack.
              Today was going to be just one of those days...you know, full of zombies.

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              • #8
                Maybe it's a dog.
                Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

                Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

                I wish porn had subtitles.

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                • #9
                  Spiffy, I thought you were going to post this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COkumQuCibU
                  Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                  HR believes the first person in the door
                  Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                  Document everything
                  CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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                  • #10
                    Behold this fearsome predator.
                    I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                    I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                    It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                    • #11
                      Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
                      Behold this fearsome predator.
                      ack you are trying to kill us.
                      TOOOOOO CUTE!!! want to love!!!!!!!!!!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Sliceanddice View Post
                        ack you are trying to kill us.
                        TOOOOOO CUTE!!! want to love!!!!!!!!!!
                        Hehe...funny thing is I had seen the middle picture before. Didn't expect him to be so tiny
                        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                        • #13
                          That li'l cub is too cute!!!
                          I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                          Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                          Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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