Ok, so this is a story from back when I was waitressing to pay off my heafty student loan. Now as anyone who has ever waitressed knows, the only thing that makes spending 8 hours on your feet worthwhile is the tips. Unfortunately I was working at the restaurant of a conference centre/hotel, so people didn't pay at their table, they paid at the front desk. What did that mean? No tips. EVER. Once a co-worker was given £5 by a nice elderly couple, and our evil French manager took it off her, saying that 'Ai run zis essstableesshment. Eet iz mah teep.'
Anyway, as you can imagine, no tips + evil Frenchman made this the worst waitressing job I'd ever had. I have a short temper at the best of times, and it was generally at its shortest when the conference centre had a group of accountants booked in. They were always fresh graduate recruits (i.e. same age as me, but in much more expensive clothes) and were loud, always rude, generally drunk, and had an extremely high opinion of themselves.
Anyway, I was part of a flotilla of waitresses serving about 80 of these cretins, and was carrying three plates of steak. The hotel used the heaviest china known to man and my arms were threatening to snap off in a manner reminiscent of an Evil Dead movie. Unfortunately the man I was trying to give one of these plates to was talking very loudly and waving his arms around, as 22 year old men will do when they've drunk 8 free beers and think they're very clever. Basically, no matter what I tried, I couldn't slip him his food without getting hit in the face by his massive sweaty hands.
SC: So, naaaaturally, I said to Perkins, you can't poooossibly use those statistics on those figures. As everyone knows *snorts moronically* the only thing that will work is a chi-square!!!
Me: Excuse me Sir, I believe you ordered the steak?
SC: Wait a moment, wait a moment! (Gives me a look of complete distain. Clearly a humble waitress should let him finish waving his arms and telling his story.) Anyway, Perkins was sooooo impressed!
Me: Sir, is this your steak?
SC: Yes, yes, wait a moment, I need to finish this story! So aaaanyway, I think it's just scandalous how I am the ONLY one in the department who has a grasp of statistics! How woooould they get along without me? *looks at me* Wait a moment!
Me: No, I need to serve everyone else. And I think you'll find you'd require a two-tailed t-test for those PARTICULAR figures.
Cue giggles of mockery from his audience, him dropping his hands, and me niftily slipping him his food. I guess they never suspect that the person serving them has a brain...